


It Was Meant To Be

by godhatesrobin



Series: It Was Meant To Be AU [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: 3 Canon Lives System, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Rewrite, Dethroned Eret (Video Blogging RPF), Eating Disorders, Emotional Manipulation, Eret Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Eret Redemption (Video Blogging RPF), Eret-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Gender Dysphoria, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Multiple Pronouns for Eret (Video Blogging RPF), Philza’s B+ Parenting, Piglin Hybrid Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Piglin Hybrid Wilbur Soot, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Depression, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, They/Them Pronouns for Eret (Video Blogging RPF), Traitor Eret (Video Blogging RPF), Twins Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, Wither Hybrid Eret (Video Blogging RPF)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:08:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 72,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28292160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godhatesrobin/pseuds/godhatesrobin
Summary: After escaping their palace in the DreamSMP and leaving it behind to turn to dust, Eret has to learn to move past their regrets, with, of course, a little help along the way.
Relationships: Cara | CaptainPuffy & Eret, Clay | Dream & Eret (Video Blogging RPF), Eret & Darryl Noveschosch, Eret & Floris | Fundy & Niki | Nihachu & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Eret & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Eret & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Eret & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Eret & Wilbur Soot, Eret & Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Implied Quackity/Sapnap/Karl Jacobs
Series: It Was Meant To Be AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2147193
Comments: 239
Kudos: 639





	1. I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahah ao3 went down so I wrote a fic  
> aka I really need to do better things with my freetime  
> WARNINGS !!!  
> alright so, I’m kinda descriptive, aka within the first few lines I am describing a wound and blood somewhat graphicly. I believe you should be able to scroll past it  
> but I don’t have any // parts to show where to skip to since it uh;; is an entirely important part of the fic  
> I just am a graphic writer and therefore if you feel uncomfortable while reading, I’d suggest just moving onto a different fic, because I just normally write like that and there will definitely be more scenes like it :)  
> Stay safe !!! <3
> 
> EXTRA SIDE NOTE TO AVOID CONFUSION  
> Eret is described using they/them pronouns and will use they/them when referring to theirself, however other characters will use he/him. It’s out of ignorance, not bigotry. None of them know as of yet of the different pronouns.  
> I do hope to possibly use all pronouns when describing them at some point but as for right now, it’s just they/them
> 
> EDIT: I swear the writing gets better- just hold on till like chapter 5-

Blood.

There was so much blood.

Clumps of the dark liquid were so noticeable against the otherwise pristine snow that caked the ground for miles on end.

This was it, they were going to die here.

Red followed them like a delicate string, strung haphazardly around trees, baking the ground in an array of pinkish rose colours from where they had formerly walked.

It was an easy trail to follow.

Somehow, they could still hear the cries of their hunter, despite **him** losing care halfway through their run.

_“Eret? Eret, where are you going?”  
_

_“You can’t just leave, not after all I’ve done for you.”  
_

_“Eret? This isn’t funny anymore, where are you?!”  
_

_“Eret!”  
_

_“Come on, I gave you everything and you’re just going to treat me like this?”  
_

_“I let you stay with me, I gave you the power you so greedily wanted.”  
_

_“You traded your family for material wealth, and here you are, yet again betraying the only family you have left.”  
_

_“A shame, I thought we were friends.”  
_

_“If you come back, maybe I won’t have your head sliced off.”  
_

_“...”  
_

_“Fine, run then, I’ll be sure to have Punz find your body. I’m sure Tubbo and Nikki will be thrilled to see what you’ve become.”_

They shuddered as their utter exhaustion kicked in. The adrenaline had worn off soon enough, they only had their spite to run off of, but that was starting to not be enough to keep them moving.

The forest they were in wasn’t dense by any means, the bare trees allowed the dim sunlight to shine a slight light to pave their way to what they hoped was safety.  


But it was starting to become less likely as their legs weakened and the wound across their chest wouldn’t stop bleeding.

An arrow was still pierced through their ribs.

The more they thought about it, the more the pain burned.

They’ve been running for what has felt like hours.  


The harshness of the light shining burned their hazy eyes, despite how dimly lit it was. Their sunglasses were long forgotten amongst the blood bath.

A warm scarlet clouded their vision as the world flipped sideways.

Wait no that was just them falling.

Attempting to keep going was futile, all they could do was try to steer themself to fall on their side.

It worked, somewhat.

The former king couldn’t help but cry out as they hit the ground. Despite their best effort, the arrow lodged into their torso moved with the action and therefore the pain that had been almost bearable had shot up to a hundred within milliseconds.

They had kept their head held highly throughout the entire exchange and up till their collapse, but now, even with their golden crown abandoned at the castle, they could still feel the heaviness of the ghostly circlet laid upon their head begin to weigh down against their skull.

They could only hope that the pain would cease quickly and leave them to lose their first life.  


But that would lead to so many terrible things.  


They’d have to go back to the castle.  


They’d have to see **him** again.  


They’d have to beg for forgiveness for their wrongings.  


They’d be executed, undoubtedly, for their treasonous actions and lose the last two lives to the blade of an axe.

They couldn’t allow theirself to bleed out here.

Eret breathed heavily against the freezing ground, slowly moving to lift themself from on their elbows, but that plan failed quickly as they slipped again, with little to no noise, and laid back down on their arm with a thump.

They were so screwed.

Through their glassy eyes, they could see something awhile ahead of them, a slight clearing from the forest.  


The trees lessened as the clearing became more visible, and as they squinted harshly against the ground, they could see something off about it.

They could see light.

It may have burned their eyes to look for more than a few mere seconds but the amount of relief that flowed their system was overwhelming.

On one hand, it could be some sort of civilisation.  


On the other, it was just a sign that their time was coming to an end.

Either way, they had to work fast.

They didn’t have time to think about who could even be living this far from the tyranny of the SMP, but even a village could save them from bleeding out.

Or at least allow them to not respawn from their certain death at the forsaken castle.

Hesitantly, they moved their body back, careful to make sure their back didn’t touch the ground, assessing the damage at hand.

The main issue was the bloody arrow stuck through their ribcage like a trophy from their run-in with the god of the server. Secondly, their left leg seemed to flare up in pain whenever it was moved, unnoticed by them until now. Thirdly, they were starting to lose consciousness and their ability to breathe properly was constricted heavily.

Well, it could be better, that’s for sure.

Gasping for air, they tried to lift themself up yet again, this time, it worked long enough for them to sit up.

Halfway there already.

Wincing prematurely at the amount of pain they were about to feel, they hesitantly raised theirself to their feet.  


Agony soured throughout their abdomen, like burning glass was being put up against their skin repeatedly. It wasn’t just a harsh sharp pain, it felt like their entire being was on fire.  


Their pain clouded their vision and thoughts, all they could think about was putting one foot in front of another for just another few steps.  


All they had to do was get out of the forest, they knew realistically there was no way they were getting to someone’s door.  


Anything was better than dying in a pile of snow and a pool of their own blood.  


Frost lapped against their skin as they moved forward towards the oncoming light. Their senses were in a flurry of different feelings. It was so disorienting that it was taking every bit of their strength to keep themself from folding over and throwing up.

As the branches began to clear up from their vision, they let a few tears finally escape their watery eyes. It only took a few more short steps for them to drop again, this time with a shriek.

That had to get someone’s attention, right?

They didn’t have the liberty to find out, as soon enough, their eyes began to droop to a close, staying open only slightly long enough to see someone with long tousled light rose-coloured hair run towards their dying body.

Huh, maybe they were going to live to see another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey girl, currently dying in a forest hahahah  
> I swear I’m funny-  
> anYway yes, I do plan on continuing this;;; rlly hope you guys like it despite it being super short so far, I would’ve had it 3k but it was way too fitting to just end the chapter there rather than trying to over-explain & over-complicate the first chapter just to hit a word count lollll  
> i know background-wise, not much was explained, but do not worry !! the next few chapters will explain most things  
> feedback, comments, questions, & suggestions are always welcomed !! <3 :>


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ooo yuh get it I guess, I’m next best friend, get the camera, techno hype me up  
> *nearly dies*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys will soon notice that I joke throughout my entire writing, I can't help myself man  
> 90% of the time tho it’s in character sO ITS FINEEE
> 
> WARNING  
> Graphic descriptions/depictions of injuries and wounds, pulling an arrow out to be exact. I forgot that 90% of this fandom is full of kids who probably have also never used ao3 before reading heatwaves so I’m warning you here. I normally will warn of anything triggering and/or disturbing in the notes 
> 
> ANOTHER REMINDER BC I DONT WANT TO CONFUSE ANYONE  
> This chapter is from Techno’s & Phil’s perspective for majority of the time, meaning that until it switches back to Eret’s perspective, they’ll be referred to using he/him pronouns  
> I feel like to me it’s such an easy concept but that might be because I’m literally the one writing it so ofc it makes sense to me

To say Technoblade was happy to see a man dying outside his base at six in the morning would be a lie.

As much as seeing others suffer amused him, this was serious.

Phil had left earlier to go on a run to gather more materials for potions in the nether. It wasn’t unusual for the father-figure to up and leave by himself to go on some reckless adventure. He seemed to like living life on the edge.

He had mentioned once to the piglin-hybrid that he didn’t have the privilege of respawning, cursed for whatever reason to be stuck with one life until it came to its untimely demise.

So Techno was stuck at the house alone.

It wasn’t lonely, if anything he was grateful that Phil would give him time to himself whenever he needed it.

Feeling anxious that day? Phil would hug him and reassure him that everything was going to be okay.

Needed to be alone for a bit? Phil would conveniently have some very “important” event going on and have to leave immediately for hours on end, or for however long the man had guessed Techno needed.

It was peaceful and way better than the chaotic life he had before by himself.

Until it wasn’t.

He had been laying in bed when he first heard a noise outside.

It was barely even light out, was he going to check up on something that was probably just some zombie crashing into a tree? No. He barely slept as is, he was ready to ignore whatever life was going to throw at him for some shuteye.

Well that was until he heard someone cry outside in pain.

Someone who sounded human.

Fear had almost instantly soaked into his bones, his thoughts telling him that it was Philza that was in trouble. Without a second thought, he had jumped out, slipping on his boots as quickly as possible, and ran out the front door.

His breathing was off centered as he scanned the surrounding area for any sign of his father. It took mere seconds for the blood god to notice the brownish-red that was splattered all over the formerly neat and tidy snow.

At the end of the trail of blood laid a man, who was motionlessly laying on the ground, unconscious.  
It certainly was not Philza, a huge relief to himself, but the stranger had some familiarity to him. Like he knew this person from somewhere.

He didn’t have time to think about that right, there was a man bleeding out on his front lawn.

God what was Phil going to say when he got home.

Oh sorry, I found this dead dude in front of our house, I swear I didn’t kill him!

Was the winged man going to believe him?

Shaking his head away from his worries, he focused on trying to save whoever this was.

Or at least get the corpse out of his lawn.

His face was covered up against the snow that was sticking sickly to his face, hair, and really his entire body. He couldn’t identify any notable features other than his curly hair that was caked in dirt and blood. Just from his faraway glance, he could tell there were some early signs of frostbite on his hands.

How long was this guy out here?!

The main cause of blood was from an arrow sticking out his stomach that had seemingly begun to clot.

Shit, he really wasn’t prepared to handle this.

Techno rushed to the man and, as gently as he could, lifted him to allow the brute-hybrid to carry him inside.

The man was scarily light to carry on an uneasy level. He could feel himself frowning as he pushed the door back open to allow them inside.

His “roommate” Edward, the enderman sitting in a wooden boat, stared as the two walked in. Techno was quick to glare at him, muttering, “don’t even ask.” Despite knowing he wasn’t going to really get a response other than a grumbled mess of noises.

As cautiously as he could, he laid the man down on his bed, instantly regretting the fact that he had nowhere else to put him because now he was going to clean the blood stains out later.

He wasn’t sure where to go from there, he could take the arrow out but he wasn’t sure if that meant an instant death sentence to the poor man.

Part of him hoped Phil would come home soon, another intensely dreaded the future exchange when he came home to find this mess here.

He could work on raising his temperature, starting a fire so he didn’t actually have to cut any fingers off due to hypothermia. That he could do.

Checking the firewood in the fireplace, he chucked a few more logs in there for safe measure. Grabbing his flint and steel from the nearby chest, he lit a flame and watched as the fire danced up the wooden planks to burn.

See? He was doing just fine, a complete natural at saving someone’s life.

He really needed to get a reward out of this.

Keeping a hand firmly on the unconscious man’s shoulder, he moved the bed slightly closer to the fire to help warm him up.

Thinking quickly on his feet, he moved to the brewing stands on the table nearby.

Netherwart, glistering melon, and glowstone because god knows he needed all the extra healing he could get.

Wait was he supposed to make a regeneration potion instead? Was there really a difference? The man was already on his deathbed it shouldn’t matter what type of potion as long as it heals him.

God he was getting distracted every two seconds.

Mixing the ingredients together in the glass bottle, he moved back to his bedside, kneeling down.

Wait wait wait, does he take the arrow out first? If he didn’t, wouldn’t the skin just try to repair itself around the arrow and have to be torn open again to take it out?

If he took it out would he just start internally bleeding and die within a minute?

Oh god he seriously had zero idea what he was supposed to be doing and if he was even doing anything correctly. He could’ve just made like twenty things worse just by moving him inside.

Sweat beaded at his forehead, huffing as he wiped it away. His anxiety flared up like a bad storm, considering his little to none options and using up time that he didn’t have to waste.

Was he about to kill a man because he was having the start of a panic attack?

Would he feel bad for it? I mean, he didn’t shoot him, it’s not his fault he wasn’t trained to be a medical professional, that was Phil’s job not his.

Speaking of the devil, the front door just abruptly creaked open.

How did he not notice that?

“Techno? I got some ghast tears if you need them! Found quite a bit of ancient debris too! Just from mining too, can you believe that shit?”

He couldn’t answer.

He couldn’t breathe.

“...Technoblade why is there blood outside..?”

Soon enough he could distantly hear the creaks of Phil climbing up the ladder to see the piglin stiffly standing in the middle of the room.

Hesitantly, he turned his head to look at father, feeling like a child who just got caught red handed doing something bad.

“Who’s-“

“I don’t know.” He interrupted shakily, arms wrapping around himself. His heartbeat was going a mile a minute, painfully strumming against his chest like it was going burst out.

Phil was staring at him and then back to the man in the bed with widened eyes, carefully assessing what had happened here. His expression melted into one of concern as he lifted a hand to set onto Techno’s shoulder before the other flinched away.

Tears felt like they were repeatedly crashing against a weak barrier, threatening to fall over at any time.

This entire day was a mess and he wasn’t coping well, he was normally able to look at a situation with such a calm attitude that it intimidated others but that clearly wasn’t happening today.  
Maybe he really did need more sleep.

“...I’ll take over from here, go sit down son.”

Techno didn’t respond verbally but did a slight nod of his head as he held out the potions he had already made, eyes plastered to the ground as if the spruce wood was the most interesting thing on the server right now.

Phil gratefully took it, wiping off the layer of sweat that had clung to the glass. “It’ll be okay, Tech. Just go lay down. I know what to do from here, you’ve been a great help so far.” He whispered with a genuine smile.

With great hesitation, but also an uneasy amount of relief, Techno listened and shakily went downstairs to sit down in Phil’s room.

Phil looked down at the marble red liquid in the glasses, no doubt a strong healing potion. He set them gently against the table next to the bed with a quiet clang. He hurried, brewing more regeneration potions - he’s never been so glad in his life that he got extra ghast tears - and grabbing anything and everything that could work as a makeshift first aid kit from the chests. Strings, iron needles, rags to clean away the grime from the gruesome wound.

First order of business was taking the damn arrow out without breaking his ribs or puncturing a vital artery. Gently but firmly, he tore at the remains of the unknown man’s shirt to give himself more space to work, and to see the true extent of the damage to his torso.

Besides, it’ll work great as scraps to use as bandages.

Dried blood coated most of his abdomen, no shocker there, but thankfully when he pressed against the flesh to wipe it away, he could still feel a faint heartbeat.

Bruised and raised skin shined through the streaks of blood, intensely around the puncture wound from natural attempts at clotting.

This was going to hurt like an absolute bitch and he knew it. He could only hope the stranger didn’t wake up from this.

With a concentrated hand, his other pressing down on the others chest, and a heavy deep breath, his hand firmly grasped the stem of the arrow.

He yanked it out.

Blood spit out of the gaping wound, hitting against his hands and face in a splatter of scarlet. Throwing the damned arrow aside in fast motions, he opened one of the healing potions up and poured a tiny bit into the wound to help it heal faster.

That no doubt burned like absolute hell, he could hear the stranger wither in pain, whining, but he was still unconscious thankfully. He felt horrible for doing it but it had to be done to save his life, surely he’ll understand when he’s lucid. Right?

Now he had to figure out how to handle the next part.

Should he wrap the gash? Stitch it shut? Or let it stay open to heal with potions?

There were pros and cons to them all.  
As he continued to wipe away at the left over dried blood around his chest, he thought it over.

If he were bandage it, taking the bandages off in a few hours would be excruciatingly painful for him. It would scab attached to the wrappings and would only have to be teared off when changing the bandages.

Stitching would seemingly be the best option, however he wasn’t fully confident in his ability to sew someone’s torso shut.

Leaving it completely open would leave it open to infection, which would also then possibly just finish him off if he couldn’t treat it properly. And there was no telling the amount of scarring that would happen if he let it happen naturally with potions.

With a groan, he grabbed the needle and thread and got to work.  
.  
.  
.  
An hour had passed, the sun now fully up in the sky and shining into the cabin like a gentle overlay. It was cloudy today, not surprising seeing as they’re in the arctic, but not a bad kind of cloudy.

It reminded him of home in a way, it was pleasant.

Turning his attention back to his creation, he felt kinda proud of his best effort to keep the stitches as clean and not jagged. Fortunately, the wound ended up being more towards the open cavity of his chest rather than his actual ribcage, meaning it didn’t puncture any bones.

Whether or not it caused some internal bleeding, he didn’t know for sure.

He could only hope for the best.

He had to mix parts of an enchanted apple with an instant health potion and somehow get him to drink it while passed out. Which led him to asking Techno to hold his nose to allow him to maneuver the unconscious man into drinking it.

Their tactics may be questionable but it seemed to be well worth it as the harsh bruising began to fade to a muted yellow.

Technoblade had gone back to sleeping in Phil’s bed shortly after, leaving him to just sit back in a chair and await the awakening of their new acquaintance.

He had asked Technoblade if he recognised the man when he had paused after Phil had cleaned all of the dirt and soot off of his face.

He didn’t answer.

He just left the room, muttering that he was going back to bed.

It didn’t seem to be a good sign but he wasn’t going to kick a dog while it was down and kick the stranger out. If he was an actual threat, Techno would’ve actually said something.

Something was familiar about him, but he really didn’t know anyone from L’manberg or the SMP well outside of his family. Maybe he had just seen him passing during the war.

He leaned back in his chair, stretching as a yawn escaped his lips. He had been up since early into the night previously, mining away in the nether.

He could afford to shut his eyes for a few minutes.

Right?

Just a few minutes.

That had turned to hours within seconds.

He didn’t even notice he had fallen asleep until he was jolted awake by a yelp in front of him.

Rubbing at his tired eyes, the first thing he noticed when he finally opened them was that it was dark, very dark out. Only a candle next to him was giving light to the inky blackness of the room.  
Secondly, he saw Technoblade at his side, eyebrows furrowed in a knot with a hand on his scabbard.  
Thirdly, their visitor was wide awake and huddled into the farthest corner of the bed.

“Tech, it’s okay. You’re scaring him off.” He whispered to the piglin-hybrid.

With a huff of annoyance, the pink haired man backed down and crossed his arms like a child pouting.  
Phil would’ve taken the time to make fun of him but there were more pressing matters at hand.

Slowly, as to not startle the other, he rose to his feet and crossed the boundary that the stranger was putting between them and him.

Sitting on the corner of the bed with his hand out towards him, he started talking.

“Uh, well, a kinda shotty first meeting here but, I’m Philza, that’s Technoblade since I highly doubt he introduced himself. Can I ask what your name is?”

. . .

Eret had taken to the corner quite nicely, maybe if they didn’t answer, those two would leave them alone and they could make their escape.

They didn’t expect the house they considered a saviour to be the one of someone who would gladly kill them.

They couldn’t even form proper coherent sentences at the moment, even in their thoughts. Those potions he gave them must’ve really worked because they felt like they’ve never been better, numbing their pain completely at the moment.

Still, they knew to be cautious, especially in front of the blood god of all people.

They couldn’t bring themself to move out of their fetal position, mainly due to the fact that if they did, they’d have to move their hands away from their eyes, they’d have to be forced to look them in the eyes.

What god did they have to piss off to end up not having their sunglasses on them?

The dull yet intense light burned at their eyes from beyond their makeshift shades. All they could do was quickly move one hand to gesture towards the burning candle with a wince.

“Wait what? Is it the lighting in here? Do you-“

Phil had started questioning them rapidly, eager just from the smallest response they had given him, but thankfully Techno had already known what to do and leaned over to snuff out the last bit of light from the dwindling flame.

“Thank you…” They whispered, voice trembling and rough from lack of use.

Slowly, they moved their hands away from their face and towards their lap. Their eyes still were intensely burning a hole into the bed as they didn’t dare to raise their gaze to their saviours.

It was awkward for a good minute, the only light in the room came from their own glistening white eyes.  
Their sclera didn’t hold the same colour, a dull grey in colour.

A cough broke them out of their worrying trance, Phil had gently moved his hand to rest on top of one of theirs. “So you’re a wither hybrid right?” He then asked, a subtle softness accompanying his tone, completely disregarding any questions on why they were there, why on earth they were nearly dead when he found them. No, he asked them about their eyes instead.

They couldn’t help but crack a tiny smile at that, despite their behaviour so far and the fact they were using up all their materials to keep a stranger alive, he still treated them with such kindness. It was insane to them.

They started to wonder how long it was going to take after they spoke next for him to turn on them.

With a lowly chuckle, they nodded, quietly fiddling with their blackened fingertips. They supposed at some point or another during their in and out of conscious state, they had undid their humanised masking, with their wither features becoming more prominent than before.

“I suppose you would like an answer on my name, correct? We’ve met before, I’ve met your other sons before actually…I’m quite sure they had a lot to say about me. My name is Eret.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh look, there goes phil, parenting another traumatised child  
> y’all better be so glad I didn’t go into detail on the stitches scene, I was just lazy and didn’t want to have to look up how to stitches again bfndhndhdjd  
> anyway hello dreamsmp fandom how did we feel abt the festival today?


	3. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil: how’s it going son-  
> Eret: my mother left my sister & myself at a bus stop when I was three, and I remember it like it was yesterday and I try to stay so strong but nmndmbdmebeehek  
> Phil:  
> Eret:  
> Techno: that’s funny tell another one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so my headcanon when it comes to the hybrids is that they can mask some of their traits to better fit in w/ the majority of nonhybrids  
> and (not even relevant to the plot rn buT) Wilbur literally just went no<3 to being a piglin hybrid & basically constantly masked it  
> spoiler alert, they aren’t supposed to do that  
> So in Wilbur & Techno’s case, they could present completely human, Eret can’t completely because of their eyes, hence the shades, they also just have mega light sensitivity since withers aren’t really supposed to be out in the normal world  
> I also might do some drawings so it’s easier to get an image in your head on what I’m actually trying to describe with their hybrid features.  
> Anyways, hope you like the new chapter !!! :>  
> I DID TRY DOING MORE SPACING WOOO HOPEFULLY ITS READABLE NOW

The utter silence that had washed over the room was deafening. They could just see the gears in Philza’s head turning as he studied them like some sort of scientific experiment. It was hard to read his expression. Was he mad? Was he going to kick them out? Were they going to die for once killing two of his sons? Surely he knew about that part.

Technoblade hadn’t moved from his spot across the room, but it was insanely unnerving whenever they did look over at him to see only blood-hungry eyes staring back into their soul. At least one of them were clear with their intentions.

Phil still held their hand, for some god awful reason, and no one went to hold a sword to their throat.

It was confusing them to say the least.

“You’re the one who became king of SMP right?” Phil asked with clarification, zero comments were made on what they did to get that title. The mistake they made to be coronated.

With a small nod as a response, he continued talking. “Right then, and from what I can guess from how you got here, I take it you aren’t anymore?”

Another nod.

“Well that’s just great news for you right Techno-“

“Phil, just stop. The dude’s a known liar, god knows he’s probably just here to take advantage of your kindness and then turn around and backstab us later.” Techno interrupted with a stern and heavy voice. “You can’t just trust everyone you see, especially not around here.”

If anyone asked, they’d deny that they flinched at the use of he.

Phil glared back at him with a disappointed look, his grasp on their hand only tightening for a second before loosening again.

Why was he defending them? They’d hate to say it but Technoblade was completely right. They had no reason to trust them, especially after what they’ve done to their family. It was scary that Phil was treating them with such genuine kindness. It felt like a weird dream, that they were finally get some sort of recognised redemption.

Wait why was Phil staring at them weirdly.

Oh shit, oh fuck, they said that aloud. Their foggy brain was going to be the death of them.

They couldn’t help but in that moment want nothing more than to wither themself away. They had to hold themself back from hurting Phil’s hand when it’s grip tightened in what they assumed was meant to be reassuring, but it just felt utterly suffocating.

Normally, they had complete control over the ever damaging and chaotic wither side of them, but when they were terrified for their life, their control tended to let loose.

And that’s exactly what happened.

In a quick spurt of movement, they snaked their hand out of his hold and held it close to their chest, watching as light particles lifted off of Phil’s hand. Luckily, it was just some dead skin that got lifted off when their anxiety had spiked, but it did nothing to stop the mass of guilt that was eating at them. They could’ve done serious harm to the man who just saved their life.

They clenched their hand into a fist, watching as the inky smoke of shadows stretched down their arm before it abruptly raced back down towards their hands, disappearing under their fingertips.

Chaining and locking away their hybrid traits yet again.

It was scary to think that all it took was two seconds for them to destroy everything around them. The itch to set an explosion off whenever they got annoyed or pissed off that was almost impossible to ignore, the feeling of having anything crumble to a soft dust when they’d touch it. It was utterly terrifying. They couldn’t mask forever but it would have to do for right now, they were sure it would reassure the piglin as well.

When they looked back up to face their reactions, Phil was yet again staring at them like that was the most amazing and most interesting thing he’s ever seen, meanwhile Technoblade was at Phil’s side, inspecting his hand for any actual damages.

When the two made eye contact is when the fighting started.

“You could’ve just disintegrated his entire arm.”

“He didn’t mean to and he purposely moved away so he wouldn’t.” Phil jumped to their defence.

“Phil, for fucks sake, his entire being is about destroying shit. Like literally, he’s a wither hybrid, he will destroy anything he touches.”

“Well it’s not like he asked to be born like that Tech, I never insult you for trying to kill a man because he didn’t wear gold around you or Wilbur.”

“That was a one time thing, and it was an accident, that doesn’t count-“

“You threw your axe at his head! What the fuck do you mean an ‘accident’?!”

They were starting to wonder if they just up and left, would the two of them even notice?

It was a horrible idea, really, they knew that, but they could already feel their thoughts start to spiral downwards as the two in front of them argued back and forth. Their guilt inflated their lungs, making it hard to breathe without choking on their mistakes.

They had to leave the room before they started panicking again and end up hurting someone or themself.

They watched silently as they bickered back and forth, it felt like they were intruding on some family drama that they weren’t supposed to be hearing about.  
Like the cousin’s friend who gets invited to a family party and has to watch family members that they don’t know, fight.

Silently putting their plan into action, they slowly swung their long legs over the side of the bed and went to stand. The pain that had been subsided by the potions in their legs shot up as soon as they put the tiniest pressure onto it.  
They had run through a forest in even worse pain, they could do this.  
Nevermind, no they couldn’t, because the moment they had finally lifted themself onto their feet and went to take a step, their one leg felt as if they had locked in place and the other was buzzing in pain from lack of use.  
It took a solid second for them to fall over, not completely crashing down but they fell onto a knee, gripping the side of the bed as if their life depended on it.

They were hoping no one noticed but they had crashed to the floorboards and the bed had loudly squeaked in protest as it moved with their grip.

The argument was paused mid-sentence by them falling, them both staring at them with wide eyes. With an awkward cough, they quietly muttered that they were just going to leave them be.

Techno opened his mouth to congratulate them on coming to their senses but Phil beat him to it.  
“Nope, nope, that’s not going to fly in this household. I’m putting you on house arrest until you can actually move without ripping open your stitches.”

They had stitches? They didn’t even notice. Then again it’s not like they had paid much attention to the amount of medical care they were given, just that they weren’t in pain anymore and there wasn’t an arrow sticking out of their stomach.

Techno groaned in annoyance as Phil helped them back onto the bed, the piglin had started pacing around the tiny room, muttering to himself something about how stupid this was, the letter E, and how they couldn’t just say blood for the blood god whenever something bothered him, whatever that meant.

“Alright boys, we’re going to make this work. Techno, say your sorry to Eret.”

“Excuse me-“

“It’s fine,” they interrupted, putting their hands up in defence, “he didn’t do anything, besides I wasn’t lying, he’s right, you have no reason to trust me, even if I’m injured.”

“You see! Even he agrees-“

Phil wacked one of his wings into the piglin’s side, shutting him up instantly. Though he had meant no malice with the action, it was obvious to anyone that Techno was actually starting to get under his skin with how he was acting.

“I can’t believe I just keep getting attacked in my own house.” Technoblade huffed, not actually sounding all that offended, but still moving to go back down the ladder to leave. As he neared the bottom floor, he called back up, “I don’t know what you’re planning to tell Tommy but you know he isn’t going to be alright with this!”

Then the front door opened and slammed shut within a few moments later.

Then it was quiet again.

Phil was looking at them expectedly as they clenched the side of the blanket that laid over the mattress.  
“Are you alright?” His voice was the same as it was before when they first woke up, overwhelming with kindness and soft, like he was talking to a deer.

They didn’t answer immediately, their thoughts were going all over the place and fast. The potions had begun to finally wear off, which only made their fears worsen whilst pain gripped their body in a clawing hug.  
“I…” They began, voice breaking slightly, before promptly shutting their mouth before they could say more.

Phil was watching them with concern glazed over his tired eyes, hesitant to say anything that could make them blow up in anger or sadness, hell, he clearly couldn’t tell what they were feeling right now. They didn’t know what they were feeling either.

“Is this about Tommy…?” Phil asked slowly, cautiously, as the minutes passed with the only noise being Eret’s jagged breathing pattern.

They nodded quickly, pulling their legs up to cower into themself again, arms firmly around their knees. Rocking slightly as they spoke up, their voice broken in a mess of voice cracks and from their messy sniffling.  
“Tommy hates me, he wants me dead. If he knew I was here, he’d kill me, and I’d fucking let him. I don’t blame him I-“

Phil wrapped an arm around them, shuffling closer to gently hold them as their crying intensified from the simple action. They began pouring out their built up emotions like a dam breaking in half.

“No one in this goddamn server wants me here! I tried, I tried so hard to redeem myself for a stupid mistake that I made so long ago, but that doesn’t matter! I can’t be liked by anyone because I messed up. I’d do anything to not be berated for simply leaving my castle for once.”

“Minus…y’know…you getting here, when was the last time you tried leaving your castle?” He quietly asked, rubbing the other’s back gently.

“I don’t know…two weeks? Maybe? I didn’t really pay attention to that. It was just a cycle of waking up from nightmares over and over again then sleeping. I didn’t do much.”

Phil hummed in response, his hand pausing for a second when their words set in before continuing. His mouth curved down into a frown.

“Has Tommy ever tried to talk to you?”

“You mean outside of screaming at me for breathing? No. I’ve tried to talk to him but he doesn’t care, I understand, I did something terrible. None of this bullshit would’ve happened if I had just held out for another day and we would’ve won, together.”

“...I’m sure it would’ve one way or another. Wilbur was…a ticking time bomb that's for sure, even I can admit that. That wasn’t your fault.”

Eret shook their head almost violently, whining as the tears picked up the pace, threatening to fall from their waterline like an overfilled cup being knocked back and forth.  
“No, no, no. I started it, his trust issues? That was me. He thought everyone was a traitor after that, I’m not even sure he fully trusted Tommy.”

Phil took a second to think over how he wanted to address the obvious, not knowing how Eret would react at all. Meanwhile, they had taken to leaning into his shoulder. It wasn’t until Philza kept trying to hold them like his own son that they realised how truly touch starved they were.

When Phil went to move them to be sitting in front of him, they thought they were finally getting kicked away, but that wasn’t what happened. He was smiling sadly at their bemused expression. “Not everything is your fault, y’know. If we wanted to point blame at everyone who could’ve affected Wilbur’s mental state, you’d be looking at a long, long list. It’s…been hard since his passing, I’ll admit, but if someone wanted to blame a certain person for this, they’d have to blame me. I wasn’t there for my son when he needed me the most, I know I wasn’t. I wasn’t a good dad and I’m trying to make up for that now. But…blaming yourself over the past isn’t going to get you anywhere, Eret. It’s just going to lead you down a similar path that Wilbur took.”

Owlish eyes stared back at him, his words hadn’t fully sunken in but it was already setting them off. They trembled as he embraced them in a hug. Their thoughts were conflicting with each other. They wanted to believe him, they truly did, it felt like a crime to not believe the man who had to kill his own son. But, their stubbornness and self-doubt were a worrisome force to be reckoned with.

Still, they hugged him with all the might they could muster up, having lost all their energy from spilling their guts to some man who shouldn’t care about them at all. They couldn’t even begin to think about how much of a weight was taken off their shoulders just from talking about it. They didn’t have anyone to talk to other than themself for the longest time, they wanted to cry again just thinking about it.  
Their eyes had dimmed their light as their thoughts kept spiralling down and down, leaving the already dark room, almost pitch black.

“I can hear you thinking from here.” Phil said with a laugh, not expecting when he pulled back from the embrace to see them back to looking even worse than before they spoke up about their feelings. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?”

They didn’t meet his gaze, transfixed on his shoulder rather than looking him in the eyes. They looked completely defeated, the purplish bags under their eyes more prominent than ever. “It’s nothing, I think I’m just tired after all that, I should probably rest, don’t want to keep you stuck with me any longer than you need be.”

His smile became strained upon hearing the last comment, but he could imagine Eret was actually well exhausted after all that so he let it slide. “Right, well, you are welcome to stay longer, even if you make a full recovery, just so you know. Is there anything else you need? I can go back to your castle to grab you anything.”

“I’d imagine Dream would’ve burned the whole place down by now, or if not, he’s just waiting to do so when I come ‘running back to him.’ However…” Their eyebrows bent downwards as they thought for a few seconds. “I believe I tossed my bag when I was running, it should have a spare pair of sunglasses, since it won’t be going too well for me once the sun comes back up. Just follow the blood, won’t be that hard to find.”

Phil let out a small laugh at their attempt at a joke, albeit one in poor taste considering their circumstances, but a joke nonetheless. “You got it!” He called as he went to go down the ladder to check on his son.

They could hear the two speaking in hushed whispers on the floor below, though they couldn’t discern what was actually being said. It didn’t matter at the time.  
They leaned back onto the bed, grabbing the red wool blanket and covering theirself and their face in preparation of the very real possibility of being forced to wake with the sun shining. If they couldn’t handle a simple candle, they definitely weren’t looking forward to the actual rays of the sun.

And with that, they fell into a dreamless sleep soon after, leaving the room in a complete veil of darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trauma, am I right boys?  
> Also y’all notice the new tags-  
> Wonder how those could’ve gotten there, how strange ;)  
> ALSO FELLAS HOW WE FEELING ABT THE NEW ERET REDEMPTION ARC  
> RESURRECTION RITUAL WOOOO  
> TECHNO CHOOSING NOT TO KILL ERET & THEM BEING CHAOTIC WOOOO


	4. IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Techno: philza stop u can’t just adopt another kid, look at how everyone else turned out-  
> Phil, grabbing Eret: I can and I will

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh all I gotta say is, you know that wither scream noise? Imagine that, but worse.  
> That’s all
> 
> WARNING  
> Depictions of the aftermath of a night terror & panic attack

A shriek was let out in the midst of their slumber.   
Sweat and tears clung to their body as they swiftly turned on their side, fists grasping to chunks of their hair, pulling on them hard.

It took them till someone was attempting to grab at their arms to hold them down that they realised the screaming was coming from them. They couldn’t focus on what was going on, who was there with them, only the fact that their heart rate was racing in a marathon, the vast amount of pain coursing through their body and heavy exhaustion that weighed onto them like a stack of bricks.

Someone was speaking, then someone else? They didn’t know, they didn’t know what was happening. Their arms had been forcibly held back from them hurting themself. A choked cry rang out as their laboured breathing worsened at the rough forces holding them down.

This was it, they were dying, this was a heart attack. They were going to die at twenty-one from a heart attack. There wasn’t any other option.

They shook against the restraint, attempting to bring their fists down against their skull. Someone was now yelling at the other but it sounded like a distant buzz rather than words.

Then someone flicked on a light.

It hurt, it hurt like absolute hell, their eyes were burning, they were still screaming with their weak vocal cords. It was overwhelming that they stopped resisting whatever was holding them down to try to move away from the light source.

The light went out.

Heaving repeatedly, they slowly came to a stop on their screeching until the buzzing in their ears stopped and they could only hear their own loud sobbing.

“Eret? Can you hear me?” Someone was asking? Demanding? Yelling? They couldn’t tell.

“Eret, I can let go if you just calm down.” Someone else said, voice deeper than the others’.

Calm down? Yeah definitely, after they stopped feeling like they were being choked.  
They whimpered as they gasped for proper air, feeling suffocated from the shallow breaths they were taking.

“You’ve been screaming for the past ten minutes, if you stop crying, it’ll stop hurting” The person spoke up again.

They weren’t even sure how to stop anything from happening, there wasn’t a single coherent thought going to through their brain. They were more concerned if they were going to black out or not from this.

“Tech, loosen your grip, it’s upsetting him.”

“He’ll sock me in the jaw if I let go.”

“Just do it.”

They felt the restraint loosen and took the opportunity to move away, hands at their throat, pleading with themself to let them breathe.

Slowly but surely, they were able to relax enough to get their breathing to a somewhat normal pace, tears still sliding down their face. They weren’t crying their heart out anymore, but somehow they still had some tears to shed.

“So are either of you going to explain what the hell that was because I was minding my business until he started screaming bloody murder.”

“Do you remember those night terrors Tommy used to have as a kid? I think it’s something along those lines.”

“Yeah but Tommy was a child and that’s at least kinda normal, he’s like in his twenties!”

The more they talk about them as if they aren’t right there in front of them, the more dehumanising it feels. They’d attempt to speak up but they don’t trust their voice right now to come out in any way actually legible.

Phil had noticed their discomfort and raised a hand to gesture to the other to stop. “Hey,” he hummed, sitting down on the bed. He rested a hand on their leg, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Eret looked up at him, shaking their head no, eyes glazed over with a distant look.

“We should leave him alone for a bit, if you were right about the night terror part then I bet that was a panic attack when we woke him up.” Technoblade spoke up. “Last time I checked, you aren’t supposed to wake people up from those.”

Phil frowned, although he was immensely proud that his son had kept his cool between all the screaming, he didn’t want to leave Eret alone to do god knows what, they clearly weren’t thinking straight.

“Or…we can just sit here instead, I guess…”

Phil grinned, looking like he was ready to cry out of happiness because of the use of ‘we’. It was a small difference between the piglin leaving and staying, but despite the fact that he was clearly antsy from all the commotion, he still stayed and that meant everything to Phil.

“Dad stop.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“You look like you’re about to cry because I just talked, it’s kinda cringe.”

“Let me be happy, don’t ruin the moment.”

Eret silently watched the two interact with a slight smile, content on laying against Techno’s side since he was still sitting next to them. He didn’t protest when they rolled back over to him after a few minutes, so they stayed where they were.

It was nice to see them laughing and playfully arguing rather than the actual arguments they had seen before. It was also a nice distraction to keep themself from just falling back to sleep out of utter mental exhaustion. They weren’t even sure what time it was, as the lighting was still heavily dark in the room, but when they focused on the slits of light that shined into the room, they noticed the windows had been blocked and almost boarded up shut so there was barely any light able to sneak its way through.

“Did…” They coughed, voice rough and deeper than usual from their sleepiness, “did you block the windows?”

Phil looked at them in surprise for a second, as if he didn’t even realise they were still even awake, before nodding. “That was Techno’s idea, we didn’t want you to wake up because of it, but that does remind me!”

Curiously, they watched as Phil got off the bed and grabbed something across the room. Despite their night vision, they couldn’t see what he was getting from the poor angle view.

He came back into view holding something and soon enough, they could feel Techno reach over to grab whatever was in his hands and then drop it onto Eret’s chest. Grabbing it with their free hand, they could feel the cool material of something that was very familiar.

He had actually gone out and found their sunglasses.

They looked down at the glasses then back up to the two of them in shock, an array of different emotions spread across their face.

“It really wasn’t that hard like you said, it was near some bushes in the middle of the forest. I also planned on stopping at your castle to grab you anything you might need since, well, neither of us really have clothes that will fit you right, but Techno had told me you were freaking out so I had to come back. I can stop by later though.”

“You don’t need to-“

“You’re going to be freezing if we don’t get you some clothes, trust me, we need to.”

“Yeah, did you not notice that we live in the Arctic?” Techno dully chimed in, glancing down at them as he quietly worked at putting his hair into a braid.

“I was too busy bleeding out on the ground to really notice how terrible the weather was, my bad.” Eret bluntly joked as they slipped the shades onto their nose, getting a snort out of the half-piglin to their right.

Phil just sighed half-heartedly, still smiling though, muttering something about how he just keeps getting stuck with blunt kids with no filters.

“Are you ready to face the sun, Eret?” He then asked, slowly getting up to go towards the blockage over the windows, still looking towards them for confirmation.

With a hesitant nod, Phil took the covers off, allowing the room to finally have more than the tiniest bit of light that it was stuck with for the past twenty four hours.

Wincing at the change in lighting, they slowly adjusted to the newly brightened room. It was nice to finally get to see the two of them in natural lighting, seeing as they only caught a glance of Techno outside, and they’ve only seen them with their night vision.

As Phil went to sit down again, they noticed how damaged his wings looked. Parts of the bottom rows of feathers were either missing, burnt, or heavily injured, no doubt from the Manberg explosion.

“Eret,” that brought their attention back, mood dropping as soon as they noticed how concerned he looked, “that wasn’t the first time you’ve had night terrors, was it?”

“No, it wasn’t.” Were they really going to have this conversation now?

“...How often do they happen?”

They frowned, leaning back into the mattress in an attempt to escape the conversation. They could feel their gazes staring holes into their side as they stared straight at the ceiling. “Does it matter?”

“Son, I can’t help you if you won’t tell me.”

They felt the piglin next to them flinch.

“Often, alright? It was a lot.” They confessed, almost immediately regretting responding because the piglin soon shot up from his seat and quickly walked out of the room, steps shaky.

“Tech-“ Phil started, starting to go after his son, pausing to gesture back to Eret that he’d be back, and chased after him.

They didn’t even know what they had said to trigger it, or if it was even what they said.

They weren’t going to need to wait to find out the sugar coated explanation, because they could hear their distant arguing from the room over.

These walls really were paper thin.

“Techno? What’s wrong?”

“You just called him son.” His voice was monotone.

“You know I say that anyone, that’s-“

“No, no, you called him son because he reminds you of Wilbur. I didn’t even notice at first but you act exactly like you did with Wilbur around him.”

Phil was silent.

They could feel a cold sweat bead on their skin.

“It’s the truth! You don’t think I’ve noticed the similarities?! He even looks like him!”

“That’s not-“

“Yes, it is! The reason he’s still here? It’s because you want to fix the mistakes that you made with Wilbur with him and that’s not fair. It’s not fair to him, and it’s not fair to me or Tommy.”

They heard the ruffling of boots hitting the floorboard, then a quiet, “I’ll be back.” From Techno as the front door opened and closed in quick succession.

They froze up, scared to face their reactions for when Phil came back. Was he going to kick them out after that? They wouldn’t blame him at all, they’ve created a rift in their family, and it wasn’t even the first time they’ve done that.

They sat up, backing up to hit the bed frame, preparing their plan to escape if needed. They didn’t have anywhere to go other than back to Dream.  
Niki would see them again, they knew that even if they didn’t want to believe it, but if they stayed in New L’manberg, they’d only be causing more tension to add up between the country and the SMP.

The sound of footsteps approaching the door again broke them out of their thoughts, jerking their head towards the noise as the door creaked back open.

In walked Phil, his eyes clearly glazed over with unshed tears. “Hey…” He solemnly spoke, “Are you alright?”

They wanted to laugh at his selflessness, even in a time like this. “I am, but are you?”

Phil sadly smiled at them asking, nodding his head. “I will be.”

“I can leave as soon as you say the word, I-“

“No.” He interrupted with wide eyes, “no, no. You can barely walk, if you want to leave when you’re all healed, that’s fine, that’s your choice and I will not stop you, but I am not allowing you to get thrown out because of a misunderstanding.”

“Phil, thank you, truly, for everything you’ve done for me, but I don’t want to intrude on your family.” They continued nervously.

“You aren’t, it’s just been..stressful, to say the least, for all of us but it’s not your fault. I’m sorry if it’s seemed like I’ve been projecting onto you, I swear I’m not meaning to. I thought since we still had Ghostbur, I’d be alright, but clearly not if my own son is pointing it out…”

“I understand, I’ve uh, projected my issues onto others many times before, but, maybe you should check up on your sons more? They need it more than me. Besides, I’m fine here by myself, you don’t need to be in here with me all day.” They hesitantly opened their arms to motion for a hug.

He took their offer happily, pulling them into a crushing hug, it hurt to have their stitches move so quickly and be pressed against, but they didn’t have the heart to tell him.

“You’re a kind person, Eret, and I really hope one day everyone will be able to see that.” He hummed as he pulled away from the hold, patting them on the shoulder as he stepped away.

Guilt spun in their throat at his words, not allowing them to accept his sympathy. Nodding nervously, they watched him walk towards the latter going downstairs.

“I’m going to make breakfast, I’ll let you know when I’m done.”

And then they were alone again.

Like how it’s always been.

It wasn’t lonely, they could hear distant movement from downstairs, but they felt off with how everything had gone this morning.

The only good note was that Techno didn’t seem to actually hate them, which was a very nice surprise.

Someone else did though, and if they had to guess, that someone was going to come home soon.

They didn’t even know Tommy would’ve been here, no one knew what happened to the kid after he got exiled, just that Ghostbur had gone with him and Dream would go with them to make sure he didn’t go back to New L’manberg.

They had to admit, it felt nice to have Dream off their back for awhile.

But something was off whenever he did visit them, he’d seem more tense and get angry quickly with them. They could remember one time when he had arrived at the castle at almost four am, asking if they had a hand involved with something that happened to Tommy, which they had zero clue what he was talking about but he was adamant that they were involved.

They weren’t even sure why he continued to visit them when they were dethroned, they had lived in L’manberg for a short while, and he didn’t have any reason to go there.

They remembered when he told them they could still live in the castle, like it was a heavenly privilege he was blessing them with. Of course at the time, they were beyond thankful, but looking back on it, it just seemed odd.

Everytime they thought about their opinions on the god of the server, it gave them a headache. On one hand, he was a friend, they’d gone to him crying far too many times than they’d like to admit and Dream had told them things in the past that they were sure only they knew, but on the other hand, he would use them and throw them around like a puppet on a string, constantly.

And if he messed up, the blame would point to them, as they were king so it must be their fault.

And they let him, they didn’t even question it.

God why were they so stupid?

They groaned as they rubbed at their eyes beneath the shades, they really needed to stop thinking about everything they could’ve changed, it was just stressing them out constantly but they couldn’t help it.

What they really had to think about was how they were going to handle meeting Tommy again.

They had fought alongside each other during the last war, albeit unwillingly, but Wilbur had still allowed them to join Pogtopia for the fight.

Even then, he wanted nothing to do with them, so how the hell was he going to react when he finds them in his house?

Should they just plan to leave when Tommy gets here?

He could show up today and they wouldn’t know what to do, they weren’t even completely confident that they could walk properly right now.

Nervously going to test their theory, they slid over to the edge of the bed and slowly began to lift themself to their feet, hesitantly holding onto the corner still, as no one was there to save them if they fell over.

Stretching their legs first, their body felt very obviously relieved to finally be doing something other than laying in bed, they took a step forward.

And then another one.

Their left leg still was a pain to walk on, but it had definitely decreased after taking the healing potions, more so a minor annoyance than anything. Their legs were shaky to stand on, after all they were still heavily emotional and hadn’t been walking in almost day or two.

Glancing around the room, they noticed a glass of water they assumed one of them had forgotten to give them and then their bag.

Shuffling over to the bag first, they searched to see anything important was still in there.

Firstly was their communicator, everyone on the server had one. They could look at that later, they weren’t sure they wanted to see the messages they’ve gotten.

The rest was a mess. A binder filled with trade deals with the Badlands, a journal with notes from their meetings, a bundle of other unopened envelopes.

Huh, they still had chapstick in there. When was the last time they cleaned out this thing?

They put everything back besides the communicator and set it on the bed. Whilst fiddling with the device nervously, they heard the front door downstairs open. Thinking it was Technoblade finally returning, they thought nothing of it.

Well that was until they heard a very loud yell and a very distinct voice.

“What the fuck Philza?! I thought you were under house arrest! Was no one gonna tell me?!”

They grabbed their things and ran out of the side door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spain but without the S  
> I feel like I’m just speed running everyone’s angst arc  
> aLSO I KNOW THE WRITING WAS A BIT SCUFFED THIS CHAPTER PLEASE DON'T REMIND ME  
> It was more so supposed to be a filler chapter to introduce Tommy but I didn’t actually have anything planned so it ended up like this  
> A mess  
> Oh also I wrote some hurt/comfort w/ Eret & Ghostbur for the future that I’m rlly excited to show ;)  
> Comments & suggestions are always appreciated !!!! <3


	5. V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Techno: dude are you okay  
> Eret: no but thanks for asking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOO I WROTE THIS IN TWO HOURS  
> LMFAO NOT SUPER READ OVER BC IM TIRED SO I AM VERY SORRY FOR ANY GRAMMAR MISTAKES  
> I literally couldn’t focus on writing bc I was way too hyped over future ideas for this fic & the revival stream  
> WHICH UH;;; DID NOT GO AS I EXPECTED IT TO NGL
> 
> WARNING  
> A few references to depression & just sad conversations/thoughts in general, very loosely mentioned eating disorder behaviour

Harsh winds snapped against their pale skin like a harsh gift from god for their cowardliness, leaving them numb as they continued onwards through the heavy piles of snow that caked the ground and hit the top of their boots.

So maybe Phil was right, they really were going to need more clothes to withstand this weather.

They couldn’t worry about that now, they were too far gone from the warmth of the cabin to care. Snow ruthlessly hit against their thin clothes, unfortunately having no mercy against the slits of open skin from their torn shirt, leaving their bandaged wound in a weird sense of numbness and differentiating spots of hot and coldness.

They could feel their regret to not steal one of their coats on their way out begin to rise as they passed the once bloodied trees.

They didn’t know exactly where they were going, mainly just that it was the only way they knew, not even thinking about where their path would undoubtedly lead them.

Was it smart to leave without telling anyone and without any proper clothing nor tools? Absolutely not. Were they going to turn around and face their worst nightmares just for a physical feeling of comfortableness? No, no they were not. They’d rather be found by Dream again than go back to meet Tommy.

It wasn’t as if they hated the boy, no, far from, they had been good friends once upon a time. They did however, fear coming back to an onslaught of screaming and belittlement.

They weren’t even too sure how they felt about him.

Tommy was like a constant thorn in their side, always keeping them from moving forward in their path of redemption. Eret couldn’t blame him, of course not, they understood fully that they’ll never be forgiven and for good reason, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

That it didn’t hurt to see the side-eye glares shot their way whenever they did manage to force themself out of bed for once. Or how talking would suddenly stop whenever they came into view and they were just stared at, as if them being within sight was a ruin to his day. It hurt to watch as those who had unknowingly befriended them, turn around and look at them as if they were a monster upon finding out a distorted version of what they’ve done.

They didn’t blame Tommy, not at all, they desperately wanted to be able to redeem something, anything, in his eyes, to finally be able to have an understanding of each other. He was the only one, outside of the late Wilbur, to never forgive them.

Tubbo had rather quickly, in fact, it had surprised them with how fast someone, who they considered family, could forgive them for their crimes. They had caused the loss of his first life, of all of their first lives, and yet he had forgiven them and moved past it as if it had been but a tiny unimportant event in his life.  
They’ll never be able to forget how Tubbo had held onto them with a deathly-tight grip as Sapnap tore his axe through his back, screaming how could you to their cold and uncaring face.

Fundy had taken longer to adjust to their new kingship. Their first actual conversation after their coronation being when Fundy had found them building a watchtower to view over the L’manberg walls.  
Afterwards, a prank war that soon turned harmless began, gifting them with a profuse amount of flamingos decorations in their castle.

Nikki wasn’t a part of the original L’manberg, but she was extremely close with Wilbur, so whenever she’d wave at them and talk to them whenever they passed by, it was a confusing but comforting surprise. Even after explaining what they had done during the first war, why Wilbur wanted their head on a stick, she had just shrugged and said that it was in the past.  
She had been the first they came out to, being welcomed with open arms.

But they were busy, constantly, and it was largely frowned upon for any of them to visit their castle.

So it left them lonely, their only comfort being turned to Dream and the few times BBH would visit on the terms of a trade meeting between the SMP and the Badlands, it really was just an excuse for them both to see each other.

The more they walked, the more their feet began to burn in protest.

But they kept going until they finally realised how far they had gone from the tundra.

They weren’t far from the outskirts of the SMP.

Their breath hitched as they stared at the far off silhouettes of towers.

They could leave, for good, thank Phil and Techno on their way to their death sentence for all the help they’ve given them.

It would be easy, so so easy. Maybe they wouldn’t be killed. Maybe, if they just begged enough, Dream would grant them mercy.

Sure, they’d never see the light of the day in their castle, but that gave them free reign to practice feeling more comfortable without their shades on. And Dream would never let them leave without his permission, undoubtedly applying to them never having visitors as well, outside of him and maybe Sapnap and George.

They wondered how those two were dealing with the forced continuation of their kingship.

Okay, maybe it wasn’t good to go back, but it was the only reality they knew, it wasn’t different to how it was before they left.

Maybe it was a mistake to leave?

They weren’t sure how long they had standing there for, eventually sitting on the melted snow to rest their weary legs. But eventually, the sounds of twigs cracking in half began to get closer and closer to their location.

This was it, they were done for.

“Do you know how long it took to fucking find you?!” A familiar voice boomed from behind them.

“How did you find me?” They quietly asked, turning to face the eyes of a very, very tired piglin.

“I knew you wouldn’t go anywhere else, but I didn’t expect the forest to be so dense, God.”

He took a seat nearby them.

They hummed, fiddling with their now blue fingertips.

“Why did you leave?” He asked.

“I heard Tommy and panicked.”

They weren’t really expecting Techno to start cackling with laughter, but they didn’t really know him that well enough to say it was a surprise.

“I should’ve done the same thing when he showed up in my basement. I come home from getting nearly executed to find some gremlin stealing my stuff.”

They smiled with a slight strain, watching as he animatedly spoke long-windedly about how much trouble Tommy has gotten him into since he let him live with him.

One part stood out amongst the rest though.

“Dream shows up?” They echoed.

“Yeah, he’s done it twice now. He just walts in like he owns the place and starts bombarding me with questions on where the hell Tommy is. I asked him if he was homeless and he got so offended, you should’ve seen it.”

“I don’t think he has a house, he’s stayed the night at the castle so many times, a concerning amount of times.”

“I knew it! Technoblade is never wrong!” He laughed hardly, before his expression switched downwardly and quickly to one of emotionless neutrality. “Seriously though, why did you leave? If you want to make a run for the SMP go right ahead, but I need to tell Phil something.”

“I…” their words stumbled over each other, “I was telling the truth, it really was because I heard Tommy come home. I don’t think anyone there would want to hear Tommy’s reaction to seeing me in his house.”

“My house, but continue.”

They flashed a downcasted smile, they could never stay completely serious with Techno. “It’s terrifying, not only for me, but for him. I doubt it’ll bring up any good memories for him and I honestly don’t want to just cause more harm to your family just because I’m there.”

“Eret, you know I don’t hate you right? Sure, you’re the literal king of a government I would love to destroy, but outside of that, you seem to be a pretty decent dude, even with the whole traitor arc thing you did years ago.”

“It really hasn’t been that long.”

“You are brutally killing the message here, Eret. Pretty cringey if you ask me.”

They sighed heavily, leaning forward to rest their head on their knees, hands running through their matted hair.

“Listen, I don’t know why you did it, nor do I really care to know, but I do know that you had my brothers killed and I will never forgive you for that, but my opinion is still neutral when it comes to you. I’ve mainly been upset with how Phil’s been acting around you, he acts like you’re some saint sent to forgive him for everything he fucked up with Wilbur. You also have been just a dent in my schedule, it’s a pain to work around babysitting you, not going to lie.”

“Thanks…I guess…?”

“You’re welcome.”

They fell into a silence after that, with Eret nervously gripping their brown curls in a tight hold, and Techno bouncing his leg every second.

“You’re doing the hair thing again.”

“Hm?”

“When you had that nightmare, night terror or whatever, you kept trying to pull a chunk of your hair out.”

Slowly, they let their uneasy hands slip from their hair and sit unstill against the wet grass. “Sorry,” they mumbled, avoiding his piercing gaze.

“It’s fine, just uh, don’t rip your hair out? I play with my hair too when I’m nervous but you shouldn’t be trying to yank it out of your skull.”

They nodded numbly, gaze still set upon the far off towers, most likely Ponk’s.

“Do you want to go back home?” He then asked, his social anxiousness finally sweeping into his voice, most likely from the awkwardness of it all.

“To mine or yours?” They clarified, eyes still set upon the familiar building.

“Mine.”

“...Sure.”

With help from the piglin, they got to their feet, saying their last goodbye to the land they used to rule. They didn’t need to speak to each other as they walked, as they fell into a comfortable silence yet again without any issues.

“Hang on, I need to tell Phil I found you. He’s been spamming me since he saw you left that I needed to track you down.” He explained as he put their pleasant walking to a pause. Taking out his grey communicator, he typed a few things before shoving it back into his pocket, looking at them hesitantly before telling them to continue.

“How bad do you think it’s going to go?”

“With Tommy or Phil? Because they’re both upset.”

They winced, he apologised.

“Both? You already know my worries with Tommy, but Phil isn’t going to force me into bed rest for the next week right? I should be fine to move around without much pain within the next few days.”

“Not if you keep running out here and getting hypothermia. But I bet he’ll keep you stuck in bed for the next few days.”

They sighed, he laughed.

“Hey, if it goes by quickly, I can show you this little project Tommy and I have been working on.”

“Project?” They echoed.

A wide and wild grin spread across his face, showing off his sharp canines. “A hound army.”

They stopped in their tracks, which only made the piglin wickedly smile even more, eyebrows furrowed in a knot of confusion. “Excuse me, what?”

“I said what I said.”

“A hound army?”

“Yes, how many times do I have to say it?”

Shaking their head, they moved to continue walking, causing Techno to cackle as he followed behind them.

As the forest slowly came to a close and the lights of the house began to come into view, their anxiety began to spike again, leaving them stumbling in their steps through the piles of snow.

Techno frowned, setting a hesitant hand on their shoulder, making them stop again.  
“You don’t have to go in yet, I mean, you should because you’re freezing, but if you’re really not ready, we can wait.”

Eret looked at him with nervous eyes, nodding at their understanding look. “I can’t go in there, not again.”

“Well we did already walk all the way back here and I did give you a chance to say no, so yes, we are going inside eventually.”

They lightly slapped him on the shoulder as they crossed their freezing arms across their chest. “I’m serious, I don’t know what to say, ‘hey I’m so super sorry about when I betrayed you for a pretty crown, but your father here seems to like me so I’m staying here for now.’ Like what the fuck, he’s just going to try to punch me.”

“Have you tried maybe avoiding his attacks? He really isn’t as tall as he says he is, you could take him easily.”

They knew humour was how Techno coped with anxious conversations, but it really wasn’t helping them here.

Before they could continue to stress themself out, they noticed noises and voices rising from inside the house. One obviously being Tommy’s ever booming voice, and the other being a far more gentle Phil’s as he tried to calm the boy down.

“That fucking traitor is here?! Is that why you were freaking the fuck out earlier?! And you didn’t tell me???”

“Tommy, both him and I knew how you were going to react and-“

“OH SO YOU TALKED ABOUT ME WITH HIM?!”

“He ran off for fucks sake, it wasn’t planned! Now sit down!”

“Where the fuck is Techno at then? What the actual hell is going on here?!”

“He went to go get him, he’s bringing him back now.”

“YOU MEAN HE’LL BE HERE LITERALLY ANY MINUTE AND YOU DIDN'T SAY SHIT? WHAT THE FUCK, THE ACTUAL FUCK, IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”

A pair of gloved hands rested themself over their ears as Techno led them towards the impending front door, despite their protesting.

Lifting a hand for a second, he whispered, “If we don’t go in now, it’s just going to get worse for Phil, I’ll make sure he doesn’t try anything, okay?”

They unwillingly gave in and let him drag them to the front door, him kicking the door hard to alert the others of their presence.

The voices immediately shut up, leaving Techno to move his hands away and wait calmly for the door to open, a hand now resting on his sword sheath if needed.

No one moved for moments on end, until some shuffling could finally be heard on the other side, the doorknob moving to reveal a very exhausted Phil and a raging Tommy not far behind him.

Techno stepped in first, making a comment about how long it took for them to open the door, before they followed him in with eyes glued to the floor. Phil shut the door behind them, concerned gaze scanning over Eret’s sunken-in frame.

“Why are you here?” The blonde asked almost immediately, absolutely seething with anger.

“We already went over this, Tommy-“ Phil interjected.

“No, I want to hear it from him.”

“I…I was being chased by Dream, I was bleeding out and landed in their front yard. That’s all, I’m here until I finish healing.”

They pretended to not see how Phil had frowned at their words.

“Yeah, well, you just ran the fuck off so you seem just fine to me. Why don’t you just get the hell out of here!”

“Tommy.” Techno’s rough voice interrupted him, a disappointed look upon his face.

“What?! You want him gone too! He’s a fucking liar, he probably did all that himself to get us to trust him.”

“He’s not lying, for god’s sake, Tommy, we’ve been over this!” Phil spoke up, anger and annoyance spitting out his words. “Go to your room if you’re just gonna sit here and complain like a brat, god damnit.”

Tommy looked between the only two remaining of his family, hurt written across his face, before his cold gaze turned directly towards Eret. Huffing as he turned away and marched downstairs to the basement.

No one spoke for a while, not before they could hear the footsteps finally come to a full stop and a door slamming shut, echoing across the house.

Phil placed a hand on their shoulder as he checked over their condition, shaking his head as he moved the torn pieces to take a closer look at the stained bandages.

“Come upstairs, I need to change your bandages. Tech, do you think you can cook something for you and Eret? I know damn well neither have eaten yet.” He asked, pulling them aside towards the ladder with a gentle tug.

Techno’s posture was stiff, his gaze avoiding Phil’s at all costs. Still, he nodded, before slowly moving from his spot to go towards the kitchen.

Phil’s expression softened, reaching towards his son before quickly retracting his hand. “Maybe check on Tommy too..? Tell him I’m sorry for yelling, he’s just been yelling my ear off for hours and wouldn't listen.”

“...Right, good luck Eret.” The piglin quietly called, sadly smiling at them before turning back to searching through the cupboards for anything actually edible.

“Thanks man.” They whispered back, wanting to do nothing more than explain to Phil why his son was so anxious around him now, but it wasn’t their story to tell, so they stayed silent as Phil helped them up to the next floor.

They felt terrible watching as Phil worried over their frostbitten body, remembering the conversation they had with Techno every second. They were just stealing the attention away from Phil’s actual sons, and even if it wasn’t necessarily their fault, it still felt like it.

“Are you in pain at all?” Was the first question he had asked as they laid back in bed.

“Just sore and cold, I’ll be fine.”

“You were out for hours, it’s nearly mid-day now. That’s not just ‘fine’, Eret.”

They didn’t even notice the time change.

They stayed silent, looking towards the wall as the bloodied bandages came off, wincing in pain whenever it would tug a stitch out of place. Whenever they glanced back, they could see Phil hovering over the puncture wound, inspecting the mutilated flesh and stitches for anything off.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked, prodding at one of the scarring marks racing up their chest to check for infections, causing a bolt of pain to race up their system.

“Not particularly. You can ask Techno about it, though.”

He frowned, moving away to fix them up another instant health potion and new wrappings. “I wish you’d talk to me.”

“I have, I just don’t want to talk about it right now, I’d really rather be asleep honestly.”

When Phil turned back to them, it was obvious his expression was cracking, tired of not getting clear cut answers from people. Neither of them saying anything as they drank the potion and he cleaned the smeared blood away and covered the healing gash across their stomach with a gauze.

“You have to eat before you go to sleep, I’m not letting you skip another meal, god knows how long it’s been since you last ate.”

Eret couldn’t give them an answer to that.

With a very obviously strained but sympathetic smile, Phil left them to relax without a fight, speaking silently with Technoblade downstairs.

Curling up on their side, they leaned away from the buzzing cut down their ribs. Tiredly, they pulled their shoes off and threw the blanket over themself.  
They couldn’t discern what the voices downstairs were talking about, nor did they care as they slid their sunglasses off their nose, throwing them off to the side table as they covered their eyes with their other arm, before moving about to get comfortable.

Between their short sessions of drifting between being awake and unconscious, they felt someone gently moving their hair out of their face, distantly saying that their food was on the table.

At one point of dull consciousness, they had actually slipped their glasses back on to eat some of the food they had been brought, fearing the conversation that would’ve happened had they just up and ignored it in favour of sleeping away the rest of the day.

It was steak and baked potato, not particularly exciting to them but it was well cooked, noting to thank Techno whenever they woke up.

After gingerly picking at their food, they finally let themself fall across the mattress and rest.

All they could say for sure was,  
Life was exhausting.

-

Hushed whispers mumbled back and forth to each other. One from an anxious and upset twenty-one year old, who was furiously untangling his hair. And the other was from a darkened angel with a current nonexistent patience level.

“Where did he go?”

“Am I supposed to be telling you this?”

“Tech, I’m your father, yes you’re supposed to be telling me, Eret gave me permission to ask since he wasn’t going to tell me shit.”

“He was upset, alright? Tommy being here really freaked him out so he ran away, he was by SMP territory, we talked, he came back. That’s all.”

“You’re not telling me something, you’re clearly upset.”

“Nothing’s wrong, dad.”

“Oh are you sure about that because I’m fairly sure you don’t just start fiddling with your hair when you’re just dandy, Techno!”

Phil watched him pause at that, just now noticing what he was doing, and looked to hold in a laugh before he went to mess around with the straps on his belt.

“Tech…please, I just want to know if you’re okay. Is this about earlier?”

“...”

“It is, isn’t it?”

The piglin-hybrid still didn’t answer, his movements just getting faster to help calm himself.

“Fine, we can talk when I get back.” Phil surrendered, caving in to the silent treatment the other was giving him. Listlessly, he grabbed his boots, coat, and cloak. Packing away a few invisibility potions in his bag, walking past a very confused Techno without any further explanation.

“Where are you going?”

“Searching Eret’s castle for anything he needs, I’ll be back in an hour, maybe longer if anyone’s in there.”

Techno hummed lowly in response, gaze falling as he leaned back against the countertops. Phil gave his oldest a quick hug before hurrying out the door to make sure he got there before the night came in to play.

With an annoyed groan, the piglin tossed his light pink hair out of his face and headed towards the basement stairs, begrudgingly accepting his fate to play babysitter as Phil ran around till he passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everytime I check on this fic, it spooks me that people are actually liking it-  
> NEWS !!! I PLAN ON FOLLOWING THE LATEST ARC’S STORY W/ MODIFICATIONS SINCE Y’KNOW ERET BEING THERE & ALL  
> (Which surprise surprise, Eret did canonly have a hand in the withers spawning so fun fact if u didn’t know)  
> THAT ALSO INCLUDES THE RESURRECTION RITUAL W/ MY OWN TWIST ON IT SINCE UH THE WAY IT WENT WASNT HOW I EXPECTED & NOW IM JUST WRITING MY OWN ANGSTY CANON  
> Just thought u guys should know, I didn’t rlly have a clear cut plan on the story for this fic so I just decided the canon w/ changes would be the best, it won’t be canon heavy but y’know  
> So just so u know, where it’s at right now would be around after Techno’s failed execution & Phil escaping house arrest. Tommy is living in the basement still & Techno has his stuff back (so like kinda before the jan 5th stream)  
> ALSO CAN WE JUST APPRECIATE THE ROAD TRIP STREAM WE GOT???? Tired dadza, shitty-memory boy who wants his first canon kill, chaotic arsonist king, & a gremlin child who just wants snacks


	6. VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil: what the fuck, what the fuck is that *points at castle*  
> Eret: my house???  
> Phil: ;;;are you okay;;; ????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AYO ITS A PHIL CENTRIC CHAPTER LETS GOOOOO  
> feat. philza’s questionable parenting skills/life choices  
> Okay well I can’t rlly call it a Phil-centric chapter, in a way, yes it is, but it is mainly Phil looking into Eret’s life from his perspective & going what the actual fuck happened here  
> STILL, WE GET TO SEE HIS VIEW ON THINGS WOO
> 
> WARNING  
> References/description of a long-term depression episode, description of an item used for past self-harm, eating disorder behaviour

Dark wings unraveled themself from their constant folded spot on his back, stretching with glee as he walked through the barren and frostbitten forest.

It wasn’t a long walk from their home to the SMP, having snuck away multiple times during his house arrest to attest to that, ten minutes max, but he took his time. He wanted to get there before the sun let out it’s last ray of light but he still had time, there was maybe an hour left before the night set in.

To be honest, it was almost unnerving to be following the path of crooked footsteps that Eret had taken earlier, unsure what he should be expecting when he got to the castle.

Phil still had faith it was just going to be a quick in and out with him grabbing clothes and simply leaving, but deep down, he had an itching feeling that something was going to go horribly wrong. With how hesitant and upset Eret had seemed when he first mentioned the idea of him going to his home, he wasn’t sure whether to be concerned for what’s to come or not. Especially after Eret had mentioned that the castle might not even be there anymore.

He had a lot of mixed feelings about the former king. He knew the basic outline of what had happened during the first war, the betrayal, the fact that the man he was housing had killed two of his sons.

Tommy still wakes him up in a cold sweat from nightmares from that day.

Anyone would think he would hate the man for that, and rightfully so, but he didn’t, he couldn’t bring himself to after they had officially met. After he had started sobbing when Tommy was mentioned. And especially not after admitting his hatred towards his decision.

It was obvious he heavily regretted what he did, even if his youngest didn’t understand that yet, and that’s all that mattered to him now. If Eret was willing to redeem himself then he’d let him and help him along with open arms. The kid seemed to be trying his hardest for any chance of redemption. This was starting to seem to be more like a child who didn’t know the full extent of the consequences of his actions. Who now had to pay for said consequences long after his fatal mistake.

Besides, after Techno had pointed it out, he did notice how fatherly he kept acting towards him without even realising it. How he wanted him to stay even after he healed to liven up the constant tension in their household. He may hate admitting it, but maybe Eret showing up wounded was what their family needed, a distraction and an easy way for some of them to address their harboured issues.

Or maybe, Techno was right and he was still trying to replace the hole in his heart where Will had resided.

The closer he got to the outskirts of the SMP, the more time he took to relaxing his nerves. Telling himself that it couldn’t be that bad, nothing could be close to the horrible state that he had to witness Wilbur be in.

Right?

Pushing those thoughts aside and focusing on the now, Phil readied himself an invisibility potion as he walked closer and closer to the far side of the castle, having been travelling along the far borders of the land without any interruptions for minutes.

He doubted there would be anyone out right now, seeing as the sun was going to set soon, but he had to be careful, god knows what would happen if someone from L’manberg caught him here. Even worse, one of Dream’s spies.

As he stepped onto the choppy wooden path towards the entrance, his first thought was how quiet it was, everyone who was out late either must’ve gone to their respective houses or were avoiding this area like the plague, which in this case, was good for him.

There was a spike of uneasiness as he walked past the overhead towers and arches, hesitantly walking up to the entrance and pausing to listen in for any voices coming from within.

Nothing.

Taking a step back, he looked up to see through the rainbow stained glass windows, only to be stumped by large curtains covering his view.

Slowly, he went to sneak in through the door, but paused when he felt something at his feet. Taking a step back, he squinted down at a pile of mail, most likely old, and a large package. From a quick scan of the names, Niki, Bad, Fundy, and one from the ever dreaded Dream, he questioned whether or not he should bring them back for Eret, seeing as they were his. If anything, maybe he should just not bring the one from Dream.

It would be a clear cut sign someone had been here, though the abundant amount of missing clothes and things would also be a sign in of itself. Reluctantly, he gave in and scooped them up, setting them gently in his bag. There was a chance that one in particular would give them some much needed information.

Double checking again for any sounds, he heaved the heavy stone door open and slipped inside, stomach turning uncomfortably at how barren and off the place looked. For a castle so big and well crafted, he was expecting it to be…well…furnished at least, but it was bare.

After stepping further inside the ever-cold fortress, Phil was relieved that he couldn’t hear anyone still, but as he looked around at the three split hallways, one to the upstairs, one to the throne room, and the middle being a garden from what he could tell, he still couldn’t shake the feeling as if he was looking at something so personal.

Something he wasn’t supposed to be seeing.

He was too far along to just turn around and wait for Eret to be able to get his things himself, he had to keep going.

Taking a few steps towards the left-side throne room, he immediately felt a wave of disturbance. The throne was, well, what he assumed was a throne at one point, destroyed, leaving a sickening powder of golden dust spread across the floor and a pickaxe stuck in the clumps of gold left standing. Sprinkles of the mineral stuck to the soles of his boots as he stepped towards the glistening pickaxe.

“There’s…just a smiley face on here.” Phil muttered to himself as he stared at the charred engraving on the base of the tool.

He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know who did it, nor what their message was supposed to be.

Reluctantly turning around to continue his exploration, he glanced into the garden, glad to see there was at least something pleasant in here still, but soon enough he would have to face his fears and investigate upstairs.

Going up the cold stoned stairs was easy, facing what was left up there was another story.

As he reached the top of the stairs, he could quickly identify what he assumed was the master bedroom by its mere size, but did also notice a mass amount of plain doors leading to other similarly empty rooms. 

Happy to get what he came for and leave, he went towards the master bedroom.

Inside, it was an absolute mess. Clothes scattered across the ground without any pattern. Bits of plates piled up next to the bed in a makeshift trash pile. Papers were thrown around the ground, starting from a wooden desk in the room. His bed wasn’t faring any better, a bundle of blankets laid sporadically across the bed, looking unusually unused, looking more thrown across the bed rather than from being actually slept in.

Stepping closer towards the desk, narrowly avoiding the scattered business papers that plagued the ground in a sea of white, he noticed a stack of history books laying neatly on the side of the chaotic mess of work.

Maybe Eret would want those back? 

Something else that stood out amongst the clutter was a worn out journal, seemingly handwritten, filled to the brim with crinkled notes shoved in through the pages. 

Oh god was this his diary? 

Hesitantly, he flipped open the first page for sole purpose of clarification, seeing a letter addressed to Eret from Niki.

Yep, definitely something he shouldn’t be snooping in.

Still, he set it inside one of the bags he had brought just in case the king wanted it still, throwing the history books in as well, ignoring how heavy it was going to be to walk all of this back in one trip.

Turning towards the piles of clothes, he crouched down and silently sorted through them for anything that would actually fit the weather. He noticed a few off putting clothes within the pile, pulling out a few skirts and a dress that were seemingly his size and not some estranged lover’s, looking at it with a raised brow.  
Shrugging, he put them in the keep pile, deciding to wait and see if Eret would say anything. He found a few more sweaters and a very large amount of jeans, genuinely wondering why he had so many that were practically the same style and colour. Then again, Tommy did the same thing with his baseball t-shirts.

He silently started folding them and shifting them in the duffel bag he had brought to fit properly with everything else, a very dad thing to do but he would never admit it.  
It was strange to think he’d be doing this for someone. Sure, he loved to help others, especially in their times of need, but to be practically fostering someone in his house was another story.  
Was it out of pity? Or was he actually caring for the other like he was his own son? The world may never know.

The only other thought that crossed his mind was, why did he have so many clothes, he knew he was a king but seriously? There was still a whole closet.

After filling most of the bag with what he could fit and what would work the best for the weather, he lifted himself off the floor and looked around for any last minute needed things.

The last corner of the room wielded a dresser and closet, and the other was a closed off room, assumingly the bathroom.

Deciding to check the bathroom first for anything he’d definitely need, medication and such, he opened the door wearily.

Phil was already expecting it to not be fairing as well as the state of the bedroom, but he wasn’t expecting to walk in and for the mirrors to be completely covered.

Unnerved, he lifted the first piece of fabric from above the sink mirror, which was otherwise strangely clean.

There wasn’t anything wrong with it.

Sure, it was dusty and clearly hadn’t been cleaned, but the mirror wasn’t broken or missing, the same for the other longer full body mirror.

Something about that made it worse.

There was a scribble of writing next to the mirror, he squinted to see what it was. There were lightly written strings of numbers, going down in intervals of fives.

140

135

130

He had no idea what it could mean but it still made his arm hair stand up straight as he read it over.

He moved on.

Although his better judgment went against it, he glanced in the countertop cabinets after packing away the obviously needed toiletries, he had an itching feeling that he’d find something like sleeping medication somewhere.

He wasn’t having any luck, but as he quickly scanned over the items in each draw, he paused at one that wouldn’t have made him stop had it not been the glint of something on the item.

It was a clear box of blades, dirty blades, plagued with something he could clearly tell wasn’t rust.

Paling at the realisation, he slowly closed the draw with shaky hands, backing away from the alarming cabinet and directly into the side of the still covered mirror.

What the fuck was he looking at.

Nausea creeped up his stomach, swallowing the bile that had threatened to come up. Despite his heavy layers of clothes, a cold shiver racked itself through his body, a mix of dread and fear settling into his bones.

What was he going to tell Eret? He felt a moral obligation to question the boy on it but the thought of talking about it, even uttering and admitting what this was, was terrifying to even him, undoubtedly ten times worse for Eret.

Should he ignore it? It was very possible that it was simply a remnant of a past addiction. In that case, would it not be worse to remind him of it?

Fuck, that was all he could think, what the fuck was he going to do.

Shaking himself out of his almost frozen pose, he grabbed the bag and left the room, he couldn’t stand to be in there any longer than necessary.

Clearing his dry throat, he downed another invisibility potion for good measure and only stopping to check the closet for a coat to bring back for him.

Grabbing a dark red long coat, similar to one he had seen him wearing previously, he made his way out of the darkening castle.

Phil felt like his thoughts were all over the place. His parental instincts made him want to go home and hug Eret, cry whilst saying how he was sorry he ever felt like he had to resort to harming himself. He also just didn’t know if it was going to break their rocky level of trust for him to know that Phil had found out.

Should he tell anyone else about this? Probably not, but he couldn’t be home all day and Techno seemed to have a better understanding of things like this than him.

It was fine, he’ll just talk to him and tell him to keep a closer eye on Eret, he won’t tell him any details.

The walk back seemed longer than usual, killing his feet to drag the heavy bag with him, but he chalked it up to how slow he was walking. Soon enough, he could see the glimmer of light coming from the house through the forest, getting a last full-length stretch of his broken wings out of the way before he had to fold them back again.

Knocking on the door so he wouldn’t have to set everything down again, he heard something crashing, Tommy yelling, and then whatever Technoblade was saying getting closer as the door unlocked.

Phil smiled at his oldest as the door opened, Techno raised a brow at his bags but held the door open as he walked in, infinitely glad to finally be able to set things down.

“Did you bring his entire closet?”

“The fuck is all that?” Tommy then added from his spot on their couch, currently fixing the knocked over pieces of a board game they had been playing. Looking back up to properly look at him when Phil didn’t reply.

“Toms, can you go to your room real quick? I have to talk to Techno.”

“What?! I’m in the middle of something here!”

“Tommy please, It’s just for a minute, it’s important.” Phil knew he wasn’t keeping a calm facade at all, and it was clearly setting off red flags to Technoblade, who had been about to make a joke but then stopped, expression dropping as he stared at Phil’s serious and scared look.

“Tommy, the adults are talking.” The piglin still said, turning to push the smaller one towards the basement stairs, despite Tommy’s sputtering about how it wasn’t fair.

Once Techno came back, Phil gestured to go outside, not trusting Tommy to not listen in.

The piglin still followed him out there, clearly nervous. “What’s going on?” He asked, voice still as monotone as always, but concern was still plastered across his face.

“I…don’t think Eret should go back there.”

“Heh? No offence Phil, but you do know he’s like dying to leave us right? He-“ Techno paused, watching as Phil began pacing through the snow, eyes glossy.

“Phil…?” He asked again, voice dropping to a soft tone, immensely uncomfortable with how he was acting. Phil wasn’t known to break down at small things, he normally kept things to himself.

“Tech, I really don’t know how much I should be saying, but it’s not healthy. Nothing about that screamed a healthy household. I don’t want to watch someone else go through what Wilbur did.”

“...It’s that bad?” Techno asked with a small voice for clarification, gaze downcasted when Phil nodded. He knew mentioning his brother was a bad topic for Techno but it was the only comparison he could make.

“Fuck, I don’t even know what we should do. It looked like he was living in a prison! He said hadn’t left it for weeks! God, how did no one else notice this?!” His wings spread out in anger to full length, nearly hitting Techno in the face.

“Everyone else did kind of hate him…” The piglin added, taking a step back.

“They just left him to fend for himself! I hated Dream before but this is just plain cruelty. It’d be a mercy killing for everyone’s sake if someone took that man out.”

“Hey, hey, let’s just calm down.” Techno interjected, uncomfortable with how heated this was getting, especially with how little sleep Phil had been getting.

Phil gladly accepted the small affection Techno gave him when he placed a hand on his shoulder, seeing as the oldest barely showed any. Taking a few deep breaths, wings coming to a curtain close, folding neatly against his back, he relaxed.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

Techno led him back inside, calling Tommy back upstairs to continue their game as Phil took the bags upstairs.

Eret was still asleep, thankfully, curling into a corner of the bed. As he set the bag down at the foot of the bed, he looked over at his sleeping figure, seemingly the only time he’s seen the other actually relaxed and not on the constant verge of running or breaking down.

Sadly smiling, he moved past the bed to pick up the leftover plate from dinner.

He barely ate.

Shallowing his worry, Phil took the plate away and down to the kitchen, sliding the uneaten food into the trash and setting the plate in the sink.

Tommy was loudly declaring impending victory in their game from the living room, before disappointingly yelling as the game continued.

“What are you boys playing?” He called over to them, walking over to sit down nearby them.

“Sorry.”

“Can you play that with two people?” He asked, amused as Tommy moved his piece with a groan.

“Barely.” Techno huffed, taking his turn.

“Need another player?”

“Nope,” Techno said, not even making eye contact as he shuffled the cards, “because you’re going to bed.”

“Oh no Phil, Techno’s going dad mode.” Tommy snickered, yelping when Techno slapped his leg.

Phil rolled his eyes, allowing himself to get scooted away from the game by the piglin as he gestured towards his bedroom. “Fine, fine. You win this one. You just don’t want to lose against me.” He teased as he gave in, stepping away from the couch.

Smirking as Tommy jumped on what he said and commented on how ‘shit his plays’ were. He knew his son was just worried, and he wasn’t going to deny that he wasn’t utterly exhausted, so he left them to finish their game.

Going through the tired motions of getting ready for the night, he finally laid in bed, something that felt long overdue, and let the heavy veil of sleep overtake him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They are simply playing sorry in minecraft world, nothing to see here  
> I swear one of these chapters will be actually fluffy one day  
> Also !!! I know I update very fast compared to others who write at a similar length that I do (bc I have no life & my nd brain go brrr whenever I get to write abt Eret) however, it is my birthday this Friday so I might be a little slower (maybe even faster?? that’s a possibility) to update this week <3


	7. VII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eret: *breathes*  
> Tommy: *chihuahua growling noises*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY SO UH IM BACK- I REWROTE THIS CHAPTER TWICE NOW LMAO  
> I did it guys, I made a wholesome(ish) chapter :)  
> Ngl I couldn’t get super into character bc I was hit w/ some writers block so if anyone’s ooc, I am very sorry  
> Feat. Techno & Eret bonding moments, Tommy being angry & Ghostbur finally showing up !!  
> Oh and if anyone wants to see the tiny sketch I did of what Eret ends up wearing lemme know <3

The frosty winter had no end nor mercy in the arctic biome. It would run ruthlessly throughout the forest and hit the house without care, the harsh winds loudly smacking against the wooden walls. It was like a loud fan running for hours on end, except it froze doorknobs and kept piles of snow from people trying to walk outside.

They were stuck inside for the day, which was just fine by Eret as they dozed off yet again into a dreamless sleep. They’d rather be asleep than deal with the rest of the household, keeping that mentality for hours until Phil eventually came up the ladder to their makeshift room.

Dark wings spread out from their owner’s back, tapping against Eret’s leg. They didn’t have to open their eyes to know Phil was there, most likely trying to figure out how to wake them.

They felt a gentle tug on their shoulder, facing away from the intruder, and a soft, “Come on Eret, you’ve been sleeping for over ten hours. I’m making breakfast and you need to shower.”

When was the last time they properly showered? Probably far too long than socially acceptable to mention.

The shaking continued, they eventually had to lift a hand out of their blanket cocoon to swat away the prying hand, mumbling “go away.”

“It’s not that bad, we have a bath too. Besides, I brought you something you’ll want to see.”

That got their attention, begrudgingly reaching over to tap around for their sunglasses, only for Phil to meet them halfway and hand the pair to them.

Sliding the shades onto their nose, they finally opened their eyes to see Phil sitting on the edge of the bed, wings bustling.

He smiled as they looked at him, strangely nervously. He then leaned over and dragged a duffel bag from in front of the bed to the side, pushing it within Eret’s reach.

Raising a brow, they rolled onto their other side to unzip it and check it out.

“Did…you go to my castle..?” They asked, voice heavy with sleep.

“I told you you’re going to need actual clothes for this weather. I picked up one of your coats too.”

They could’ve sworn when they glanced back at the man, his face was full of pity and strangely, a look of understanding.

Oh god he saw how bad their castle was.

They were hoping the thing was destroyed by now, even if that meant all their hard work down the drain. Wait, did that mean Dream was expecting them back? Did he know-

Phil set a hand on their shoulder gently, making them zap back to reality, not even noticing prior that their hands had begun to shake.

Swallowing their downward spiralling thoughts, they looked to the pile of clothes folded in the bag. Feeling around was easy enough to identify what was all there, genuinely surprised by how much he had brought them.

Then they noticed a familiar fabric.

Sliding the cloth out of the bag slightly to double check what they were thinking, their thoughts were confirmed. He really brought home some of their skirts.

When they nervously glanced Phil’s way, he didn’t say anything but smiled warmly.

“Thank you.” They started, voice wavering with genuineness. “For everything, really, but thank you for, y’know…” They gestured to the skirt in their hands.

“I could care less what you wear, Eret, as long as you don’t almost get hypothermia again.”

They were so close to hugging him, nearly making the waterworks start flooding right in the morning from happy tears.

“I can show you the bathroom if you’d like, it’s just downstairs.”

They tried to hold back a grimace, failing miserably as Phil’s smile faltered until their gaze.

“...Can I ask why you’re avoiding it?” He then asked.

“I…don’t really want to leave the room. No one here really wants to see me, and I’d much rather stay sleeping than deal with that.”

They avoided his gaze but they could tell he was frowning the whole time, hurt even.

“Despite what you think, Techno has come out of his shell a lot more than I’ve ever been able to make him from you being here the past few days. I love having you here, you know that. And Tommy…he’s coping in the only way he knows how, getting angry.”

“I just, I don’t know, it feels like a lot?” They cringed at their own words, knowing how bad it must sound to hear them say bathing was a lot to them, but it was the truth. “I never had anyone check up on me since…really since being a part of L’manberg. It’s a lot to get used to, I hate to say it but I was quite content with staying in the castle all day.”

“It wasn’t healthy, Eret. Both you and I know that, none of that was healthy.” Phil said seriously, brows furrowed in concern at how much they were dismissing what he was saying.

“It’s what people like me do, I was meant to be alone.” They numbly mumbled, burrowing themself further and further into the mattress and away from Phil.

“Not anymore.” Phil said simply, as if it was a simple fact that they had to accept. Which in a way, it was.

His hand somehow found its way to rest against their back, silently rubbing figure eights into their back as they stared distantly at the wall.

It took minutes of an internal conflict for them to finally move again, silently going to take their glasses off to go back to sleep.

“I’d appreciate the extra help downstairs.”

Fuck, Phil knew them too well.

They stopped in their tracks, wordless looking over at Phil’s guilty face, even he knew it was a rocky move to say that. He also knew that they couldn’t say no to that, seeing as they were already taking any chance they could to repay the family.

“I can’t believe you’re doing this to me.” They mumbled, finally pulling themself into an upright position. “This feels like blackmail.”

“Effective blackmail.” Phil corrected with a grin, helping them to their feet.

Rolling their eyes, even if their sunglasses covered it, they crouched down and began to take a few pairs of clothes out, letting themself figure out what they wanted to wear after showering.

Phil almost dragged them to the ladder once they were done, almost making them drop the pile. Clearly they weren’t getting out of this one.

The winged man waited patiently at the bottom of the ladder for them, taking the pile of clothes from them so they could actually get down safely.

Once they felt their feet touch the ground, they already looked around warily for anyone else in the room.

No one else was up.

From the small amounts of light they could see from outside, it had to be at least morning. Confused, they glanced at Phil, who answered their unasked questions.

“Tommy’s up, just in his room, and Techno basically never sleeps, he’ll come up at some point.”

“So you wake me up instead?” They asked amusingly.

“Exactly, it gets way too quiet in this house sometimes.”

They had no idea how he could say that when he lived with Tommy but they didn’t question it.

They got pointed towards a room far off from the kitchen, a little surprised they never noticed it but they hadn’t been downstairs that much. As they got closer, Phil spoke up about what to avoid with their stitches.

“It’d be easier to bathe but you shouldn’t get your stitches soaked, just sit down in the shower. Also don’t-“

“Got it!” Eret interrupted, knowing fully well that this was just going to turn into a long conversation about taking better care of themself. Quickly before Phil could stop them, they opened the door and slid in, closing it behind them as they pressed their back to the doorframe.

“Just be safe!” Phil called from beyond the door, they only relaxed when he finally moved from his spot to go to the kitchen, finally letting go of the sigh they hadn’t even realised they were holding in.

They loved Phil but…he could be overwhelming, that was the best way to describe their interactions.

Quiet steps filled the air as they stepped towards the sink. A level of anxiety raised the closer they got, finally getting a good look at themself after weeks of avoiding their reflection in any way possible.

It wasn’t pretty.

They still couldn’t believe Dream had told them their job was to sit there and look pretty, they couldn’t even do that right.

Attempting to calm their matted mess of curls just left them trying to free their hand out of tangles of knots. Their sunglasses still rested high on the bridge of their nose, keeping them from seeing the full damage of their ever-changing sleep schedule. Their posture itself was a sign something was wrong, exhaustedly hunched over as opposed to their normal head-held-high look.

Maybe there was a reason Phil kept flocking to their side at any beck and call, they looked like a charity case.

Tiredly, they stumbled to the tub and turned the faucet the farthest possible, letting the water run as hot as it could be.

Facing the mirror again was a challenge in of itself, being forced to make eye contact with themself on the other side as they slid the bloodied clothes off of their skin.

It felt like pulling wax off.

They refused to look at their bare chest until they finished taking everything off, not wanting to know how bad the scarring was.

They hadn’t ever gotten a good look at the wound Dream’s arrow left, only the knowledge that they allegedly had stitches keeping their torso from splitting.

Glancing up to know where to start with taking the bandages off felt like a crime. It was increasingly disgusting to them to look at their own body. They had to keep themself from almost ripping the dried bandages off of their body, not wanting to deal with Phil’s disappointed look if they managed to rip a few stitches out.

When they finally got it all off, it was like a weird sense of freedom. They could pretend for a little bit like none of this had happened.

At least until they looked up again and were face to face with a chunk of raised flesh covering their far too prominent rib cage.

They couldn’t stand to look at it, but it did feel nice on some level to finally see what they looked like to others.

They really let themself go, didn't they?

Dimming the lights so they could take their glasses off without any discomfort, they finally let themself step under the flow of water, the simple action felt like it was sweeping away the trauma of the past few days.

They could pretend everything was alright, that was something they knew how to do well.

It was hard to manoeuvre around their stitches but they managed it as they cleaned away the filth of weeks without a proper shower, trying to brush out the knots in their hair while they’re at it.

They might as well try to look presentable, even if they weren’t going out anywhere. That mentality always kept them looking well-enough at trade meetings without any questions being asked about their well-being.

They guessed they must have taken too long because soon enough they could hear the booming voice of Tommy a few rooms away, excitedly yelling about something to who they assumed was Phil.

That was a sign to get out.

They turned the now lukewarm water off and covered themself immediately with towels, careful to keep towels from touching the bottom of their stitches.

Their gaze landed on the pile of their clothes sitting neatly next to the door, mainly on the skirt they had grabbed earlier.

Should they? They knew it would take a layer of stress away from their constant worry of eventually telling the others of their pronoun status, but they’d never worn anything remotely ‘feminine’ around anyone other than Niki and their knights. Mainly because they were infinitely more comfortable in a pair of jeans than a dress, but it was still nice sometimes to spin around in a flowy gown, it did help with their random spikes of dysphoria as well.

Seeing as it was the nicest outfit they had taken out of their bag, they reluctantly settled on slipping a formal dress shirt on and the long black skirt over their waist.

They didn’t notice they hadn’t replaced their bandages until they got everything on, though they assumed it was time for them to let them go, seeing as the wound had been looking to be healing nicely, far faster than humanly possible with the extra help of potions.

When they met the pupilless eyes on the other side of the mirror, they felt better, far better than they had expected to feel. Maybe this was a good sign? They didn’t want to get their hopes up as they fiddled with the overlay of thin fabric over their shoulders.

They distantly heard yelling, assuming it was just from Tommy, they ignored it. Well that was until someone started banging on the door outside the bathroom, scaring the shit out of them.

“Tommy hurry up! Not all of us have all day to waste fiddling their thumbs on the toilet!” It wasn’t even the first time they’ve heard any other emotion other than monotonous smugness from the piglin but it was still just as absolutely terrifying.

“Bitch I’m in the kitchen are you stupid?!” Tommy yelled from further away.

“Eret’s in there!” Phil distantly called, which put an end to the knocking immediately.

“Oh, Eret, I need my hair brush, can you pass it to me?” Techno calmly asked from beyond the door, angering Tommy because he didn’t yell at them like he did to him.

“O-One second!” They coughed out, still utterly uneasy from the sporadic wave of yelling.

Taking a deep breath to calm their nerves, they grabbed what they assumed was Technoblade’s brush from the pink handle and moved to unlock the door. 

When they opened the door, they saw a tousled mess of pink hair nearly hitting them as Techno stood there attempting to untangle a knot from his hair with his hands.

Wordlessly, they held the brush out to him, watching as he took it, looked their outfit up and down, nodded, and then left.

That went way better than they thought it would.

Reentering the bathroom to check that they got everything, they paused at the mirror again.

As much as they hate the damned thing and what they did to achieve it, they missed wearing their crown. It felt strange to see themself without it after so long of consistently wearing it for months without any trouble.

They wondered if Dream had to have it fixed for George’s coronation after they purposefully snapped the gold circlet in half.

Dwelling on it wasn’t getting them anywhere, probably just worrying Philza the more time they spent in here. They ran a hand through their damp curls and left, leaving the rest of their clothes to be picked up later when they wouldn’t have to cross everyone else in the house to get back to their room.

A faint smell of syrup filled the air as they walked up to the kitchen, peeking in to see Phil making pancakes.

He smiled warmly at them, it felt nice.

“You look so dressed up, we’re just staying inside today.”

They shrugged, returning the smile to him. “I wanted to look nice. Do you still need that help?”

“Ah, no. I’m almost done here actually. Go sit down, I’ll be out in a minute.”

Nodding, they continued on their way to the dinning room, walking in to see a very animated Tommy telling a very obviously bored Technoblade about something. Techno had glanced up at them when they had walked in before going back to brushing out his hair. Tommy didn’t notice their presence until they took another step towards the extra chair.

He snapped his head up in their direction, pausing mid-sentence to glare daggers at them as they sat down.

“You wear skirts?”

“Erm…yes…?” Eret answered slowly, not exactly liking how this conversation was going already.

“What the fuck since when?! Where did you even get that?”

“Tommy, stop being rude.” Techno interrupted without even looking up.

“Shut the fuck up it’s an actual question! I’m not being a dick!”

They really wanted to keep themself from laughing at that but they couldn’t, seemingly only aggravating Tommy even more.

“It’s from Niki.” They added, trying to just get the conversation over with.

“Why?”

“Tommy-“ Techno started, annoyedly glaring at his brother.

“Because I fucking rock it, that’s why.”

Tommy mumbled something under his breath, but it wasn’t an insult as they originally assumed as Techno only rolled his eyes at his brother rather than correcting him.

Eret knew Tommy well enough to know he didn’t actually care about what they wore, but it still stung for that to be the first words out of his mouth.

Luckily, they didn’t have to try to fill the tension-filled silence as Phil soon enough walked in with a plate of pancakes and a bottle of syrup.

“Tommy, go set the table.” Phil said as he set the plate down.

“Wha- I did it last time!”

“Yeah well you keep screaming after I tell you nine times to quiet down so you’re doing it again, hurry up.”

“I hate this fucking family.” He huffed as he stormed off towards the kitchen. They couldn’t keep themself from smiling as he walked away, it was far too reminiscent of past conversations they’ve heard him and Wilbur have.

Phil sat at the head of the table, flashing a quick smile towards the two of them as they awaited Tommy’s return. Soon enough, they had the entire table laid out all neatly and nicely, a stark comparison to how everyone else was acting.

The entire meal was tense, that was for sure.

It was obvious to anyone that Tommy and Eret were avoiding looking in each other’s directions at all costs, with Eret simply never looking up from their plate to pick at their food, and Tommy not even looking at Techno to avoid seeing them, only talking to Phil restlessly.

Techno would occasionally pass them some questions to get a conversation going, or random side comments about how Tommy was overexaggerating everything he was saying. It was obvious he was just talking because he was uncomfortable with the awkwardness between the two of them but they appreciated it nonetheless.

One conversation stuck out though when Techno had finished eating and was currently trying to braid his hair back, if he noticed how they had only eaten half of their food and looked nauseous whenever they’d think about eating more, he didn’t say anything.

“Do you normally only do a three-strand braid?” They asked, having noted how he normally did the same thing everytime.

“There’s others?” He questioned back, as if they were stupid to suggest otherwise.

“...Yes…? You didn’t know? I can try doing a fishtail braid if you want.”

Techno looked at them as they were lying to his face, before giving up with an overdramatised sigh and started undoing the braid he had started, holding his hair band out for the other to take.

Eagerly, they slipped it onto their wrist and took their plates to the sink, trying to ignore how when they met Phil’s gaze it turned to concern when he saw how little they had eaten. Luckily, they weren’t stopped for a mental health talk again.

They practically pulled Techno away from the other two to go to the living room, happy to finally have an escape, whispering a thank you when they finally got to sit down.

“So did you actually want to braid my hair or was that just an escape?” He asked, slightly amused by how relieved Eret was to finally be away from Tommy.

“No I still do, trust me. Niki used to let me braid her hair whenever she came over, it’s very fun to me.”

Techno didn’t say anything else, letting out an understanding grunt as he sat down with his back to the former king.

They didn’t talk as Eret combed through his hair and began sectioning it off, completely content with mindlessly listening in to Tommy and Phil’s distant conversation.

The wind was still blowing loudly against the house but it had finally stopped snowing, or at least from what they could tell, it was hard to see through the icy windows.

At some point Phil had come and joined them, mentioning that Tommy had volunteered to do the dishes, which was clearly not the usual as Techno just snorted and quietly whispered back to Eret that he was ‘avoiding us.’

To fill up the silence, Phil had begun asking them questions based off of a book he was reading. Apparently it had to do hybrids and he was judging its validity by their answers.

“So Tech, it says you have, by far, the strongest strength out of any ‘hostile-type’ hybrid.”

“Understandable.” Techno replied, voice as monotone as ever.

Phil had asked a few more before turning to the table of contents and then flipping to some page near the end of the book, Eret already knew what was coming. What else would be at the back of the book? Non-hostiles? No, of course not.

“Eret? How many wither hybrids are there? It’s telling me there’s practically none, mate.”

“That’s actually somewhat true, there’s only really a few long family trees left. Most ended up mixing with Endermen lines apparently.”

“So,” Techno interrupted, and from the tone of his voice they could already tell this was going to be good. “When I spawned the withers in Manberg, was it just a forced family reunion?”

Phil broke out laughing before they could even process what he had said, with them soon following after him, nearly dropping their place halfway through the braiding process.

“Oh god, I suppose so? Did you notice though how they never attacked me? All I had to do was slip my sunglasses down when no one was looking and they avoided going near me like I was a disease.”

“So an awkward family reunion. Good to know. I created them and they still tried to blow me up, it was a horrific turn of dramatic irony.”

“Oh!” Phil interrupted, seemingly very interested in learning anything about their hybrid status. Not that it was that shocking, there wasn’t much out there about ‘boss-type’ hybrids. “That reminds me, I’ve been meaning to ask you, but, can you just randomly cause explosions like full withers do?”

They shrugged, debating internally on how they wanted to go about answering that one. “Yes in a way. I’m sure I could, I just normally never do it. I’d compare it to how Techno must feel about others not wearing gold around him, it’s like a constant itch to set one off.”

“Hang on!” Tommy called from down the hall, racing over to meet them. “You’re telling me you can just explode any shit you want and you never do it?!”

“I could show you if you want.” They genuinely offered, seeing as pretty much the whole family seemed a little intrigued on their powers.

“Oh fuck off.”

It was worth a shot.

Still, Tommy didn’t bolt away after and went to sit as far away from them on the couch as possible. That was enough for them to know that he wasn’t all out avoiding their presence.

Questions were still passed around to each other about their hybrid statuses, mainly towards Eret though as they were completely willing to answer any questions they may have. Most notable being whether or not they could mask their pupilless eyes to pass as human, short answer was a solid no. Which then led Tommy to telling the other two about the time that he bugged Eret enough times to finally let him see what their eyes actually looked like back in L’manberg.

It was a little surprising to them that he was able to recount any decent memories with them without any obvious issues. Were they wrong about how much of a grudge he still held towards them?

They had long finished with Techno’s braid, showing it off to the others with a gentle smile. Techno didn’t seem to care much either way about it but still thanked them silently. They now laid half-hazardously across the piglin to rest their head against the sofa arm.

It was really nice to have a day that wasn’t full of arguments or someone getting hurt. It was peaceful.

Well that was until someone started banging on the door, repeatedly in rapid motions, and it definitely wasn’t from the wind.

Tommy had stopped in the middle of talking to look at the rest of them in confusion. They didn’t know exactly how many visitors they normally got, but they doubted it was any. No one lived close enough to here to randomly find it.

The only person they could think of would be Dream.

Oh wait.

Dream.

They froze up as the knocking continued, eventually getting moved up and away by Techno so he could actually get up to go to the door.

Phil had stayed silent, but they assumed it was because of him not supposedly being here. Because he definitely was still wearing that ankle monitor back at New L’manberg, mhm, yep. No laws being broken here.

“Who is it?” Technoblade called as he glanced out the frosted over windows.

The voice that answered was definitely not Dream’s but somehow that was worse.

It was familiar, far too familiar.

Familiar enough for them to recognise it within seconds.

Everyone else seemed to relax after that, with Tommy getting up to meet the certain person at the door. They couldn’t help but feel like their anxiety had jumped ten levels. They genuinely always thought everyone was hallucinating seeing the ghost that still haunted their dreams every night.

“Oh my god Tommy you won’t believe the blizzard I got stuck in. Friend was freezing the whole time it was just terrible, absolutely terrible!”

Yeah, they knew that voice, even if it was echoing now against the walls and was more crackly than they remembered it.

Slowly, they lifted themself to look over the back of the couch at the visitor, coming eye to eye with nonother than their former president.

“Oh hello! Who are you?” The ghostly apparition asked happily, floating on towards them with a blue sheep on a lead.

“I-“

“That’s Eret, dumbass.” Tommy spoke before they could, they caught how Techno instantly glared at him with murderous eyes.

Was there something they were missing about Ghostbur? Was he not supposed to know about them?

“Oh.” They watched as his former friend’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion before coming to a darkening realisation.

_“You’re the bad guy.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen man, I see rp!Eret & rp!Techno as the friends who casually cuddle, like they don’t even talk abt it, one of em just plomps themself onto the other & they’re just chill w/ it
> 
> I’ve realised that whenever this fic is finished (which ffs I have zero clue how long this will be, I have future plans but like;;; it’s l o n g) I can make a fic that’s practically the opposite of this one. Like if Eret had zero regrets over their betrayal and is just living their best life getting manipulated by Dream 😃👍 /j  
> Idk it’s a fun idea, I doubt I’d go anywhere w/ it
> 
> Also completely off topic to the story but I turned 18 on the 15th & immediately got my nose pierced on both sides & now I’m just thinkin like;;; Eret w/ piercings is a very good idea to draw, he’d look so poggers man


	8. VIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> haha ghostbur stop- *traumatic flashback* oh no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'VE BEEN WAITING TO WRITE FLASHBACK/L’MANBERG REVOLUTION SCENES HA LETS GOOOOO
> 
> WARNING  
> PTSD, dissociative flashbacks, self-esteem issues/guilt

Those simple words echoed across their thoughts, just repeats of a familiar phrase, it was way too fitting for their own liking.

_“You’re the bad guy.”_

How could just four words feel like a bullet to the heart?

_“You’re the bad guy.”_

Was all of their efforts to change worth it? Clearly they hadn’t changed a damn thing. Were they just always going to be this horrible villain in the story? Could they never be redeemed in their eyes?

**“You’re the bad-“**

They didn’t see it coming but felt someone going to lay a hand on them, instinctively flinching away with an arm raising to distance themself from whomever it was.

They made eye contact with none other than Philza, earnest eyes meeting terrified ones.

He didn’t try to push them after that but they could vaguely tell he was saying something, although not to them. It seemed like everyone had jumped on the discussion on whether or not Eret was a terrible person. It just sounded like distant buzzing to their ears, barely watching as their former friend paced the room in distress.

“It’s in the anthem, Phil! And I’ve read the history books! They all say the same story.” Ghostbur had countered back defensively, clearly confused as to what about what he said was wrong. As to him, it was the truth.

And they couldn’t agree more.

“Mate, you can’t just come in and say that to people! Look at him!”

Did he really have to divert the attention back to them? They were currently hiding into the corner of the couch to look as small as possible, hands clenching the sides of their skirt to keep them from shaking. They avoided his gaze and opted to look towards the wall than try to speak in on this.

“I only remember good things and if I don’t remember anything about _them_ then isn’t that a sign?”

They pretended to not see how Phil’s gaze turned to confusion for a split sec when his son said ‘them’.

Wilbur really couldn’t just let them have one decent day could he?

Phil kept trying to argue back the point that it was blatantly rude to say that to someone you just ‘met’, which they had to somewhat agree on but according to how everyone else was acting, this clearly wasn’t a new topic or issue.

“Wilbur’s right.” They finally spoke up with a heavy voice. “If what he’s saying is true, then he has no reason to remember me. I doubt he’d remember anything from me in a good light.” They felt sick to their stomach thinking about it. How much damage their selfish decision did, how much irreparable damage they did to everyone.

“Eret-“

“I’m just agreeing with him, it makes no sense for him to remember me fondly. If he knows me as a villain so be it.” They shot back before Phil could try to continue.

“I…” Ghostbur started, seemingly upset as he ran a transparent hand through his sheep’s wool. “It hurts to think about but I think I remember some other things…” Soon enough the apparition started pacing back in forth in thought, noises of distress escaping his lips.

“Ghostbur?” Tommy spoke up, oddly being the most quiet during the whole exchange, staring as his older brother stopped in the middle of the room.

It only took a few seconds for Wil- no, Ghostbur to look at him with a complete change in emotion. “What?” He asked, seemingly having forgotten whatever they had been talking about for the past minute.

“Nothing, Will.” Tommy replied, letting a breath of relief out. They supposed no one was wanting to have this conversation with him.

The ghost just blinked before going back to calmly combing through his sheep friend’s pelt.

Was it really that bad for him to think about anything even relating to them? It was starting to make their own head hurt trying to process it all.

Just looking at what they didn’t know, Wilbur died and came back as a ghost? Where did that leave Schlatt? How much were they left out of? They had zero idea what had happened the past few weeks, only slight clues from passing conversations with Hbomb and from Bad attempting to coax them into visiting this ‘egg’ that had been infecting the SMP.

They knew it was their sworn duty to investigate issues like that, seeing as it was actively affecting their territory, but the more Bad talked about it…the more they wanted nothing to do with it. The entire thing felt like a set up to something terrible.

Going back to Wilbur’s situation…they couldn’t help but wonder what exactly the ghost remembered now. What good things were there to remember besides winning the war and becoming president? Fundy perhaps? He had to remember his own son, right?

Phil seemed to sense their confusion because he soon took a seat nearby on the couch, laying a hand out in their reach to grab their attention. “Are you alright?” He mouthed, which they promptly shook their head no to.

They felt like they weren’t even in control of their own body, they were just limply sitting down, barely in control of their racing thoughts. None of which were positive.

Flickering their gaze over to the others, they saw Techno getting motioned to come back to his seat by Phil. Tommy still spoke quietly to Ghostbur, who was loudly talking about how weird it was Tommy was being so quiet.

Their attention got diverted back by Techno lightly moving them forward, which they couldn’t help but flinch slightly at, being moved back to their previous sitting position, with them practically being draped over him comfortably.

The piglin didn’t say anything, not even looking down in their direction, but casually went to running a hand through their curly hair.

It was a small gesture but it was reassuring, more meaningful coming from Techno, seeing as he normally avoided any physical contact but didn’t seem to care when it came to them. They couldn’t say they were necessarily clingy, they normally wouldn’t like contact either, but they were extremely touch starved after months of no one being in any sort of contact with them. It was a nice change.

Phil had shuffled over, moving his hand to now rest against their knee, reassuringly squeezing it as they relaxed.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked more gently.

“Not yet.” They knew avoiding talking about it would just prolong their suffering, but they couldn’t bring themself to say they were upset when Tommy and Wilbur were right there. It felt like they didn’t have a right to when the ones they hurt the most were staring right at them.

It was still an upgrade from them just completely ignoring their own issues or bottling it up, and clearly Phil had realised that and took the small victory as he nodded with a small smile upon his lips.

Phil eventually moved to grab his book again, seemingly deciding to continue their previous conversation, sitting back down where their feet came to a stop at the end of the couch to keep a small bit of contact with them.

He also tried to drag Tommy over to join them, which he promptly said, “you’re just like Tubbo, clingy as hell,” but still joined them, Ghostbur not too far behind him with his sheep.

Ghostbur had also tried passing everyone some blue substance, saying, “you look upset, have some blue,” as everyone else other than them just rolled their eyes at him. Clearly this wasn’t a new concept to everyone else but they still accepted it and fiddled quietly with the blue material as Phil continued his onslaught of questions on their identities. Some more understandable and others just random.

“Can you fly at all?”

“No, I’m shocked you haven’t noticed that fact already.”

“Opinions on wither roses?”

“Really? That’s what you’re going with?” They laughed as Phil smugly shrugged, clearly very happy that he was helping raise their mood, “I suppose they’d be my favourite flower, plant? Whatever they’re classified as. They’re the only one I can’t accidentally destroy so…”

“Do you just destroy everything you touch?” Tommy bluntly asked, although they did understand what he was going for.

“Nope, it’s just an effect that I can control, although it can get very difficult to control under pressure leading to….accidents.”

Tommy muttered something about how it was ‘a bunch of bullshit’ which did nothing to help their downward spiral of an emotional state, but they couldn’t say they were shocked to hear it.

“Tommy, you broke half my items when you broke into my house, I don’t think you have a place to talk.” Techno finally spoke up, smugly looking towards his brother’s shocked face.

“You son of a bitch-“

“We’re brothers, you’re just insulting yourself. Your incompetence amazes me everytime.”

“HEY-“

Light hearted(ish) arguing started up between the brothers, giving Eret an easy way to escape the conversation.

Soon enough their yelling just sounded like a distant noise to their brain, even if they were right in earshot to overwhelmingly hear them fight.  
They turned silently onto their side, feeling like they were just simply floating through a void rather than being really there. Their eyes blurred as they stared blankly at the transparent figure just barely in their sights.

He met their gaze, waving ethuasiaticly at them with clear hands.

They saw him and could only see the leader they had looked up to. The one they regarded as a close friend. Someone they’d go to in their times of need.

Someone they once thought they would die protecting.

At some point, Techno had poked them, asking them an incomprehensible sentence. A jumble of words that made no sense. They answered with a simple hum, which they supposed was the right answer as Techno laughed and sent another jab Tommy’s way.

They could still feel the rain hitting against their blue faded uniform as they breathlessly worked endlessly to build the walls that once covered L’manberg. They never took breaks. Wilbur, now President Soot to them, never allowed them.

They were on a tight schedule, they needed those walls done and no one else seemed to want to help, so they were stuck building it and having to run out to mine blackstone themself.

To say they didn’t still hold a slight grudge over that would be a lie.

They still remember their first meeting like it was only moments ago.

_The rays of the sun shined brightly against their plastic glasses, reflecting back the gaze of a worn out soldier. They offered a hand, which he returned tiredly._

_They extended their honest services, building skills and heartfelt advice._

_He took it with open arms._

_They got to work._

It surprisingly didn’t hurt to think about it. It was probably the best decision they’ve made in their life. Becoming a part of the battalion changed them forever as a person. 

For better and for worse.

_An arrow whizzed past their ear, nearly nicking a chunk of their hair off. They almost collapsed at the close impact, gasping with heavy breathing as it hit its mark at their wall._

_They shakily unsheathed their sword, they had to at least try to defend themself, even if they were in no position to with how dead tired they were._

_They spotted a familiar face from beyond the overhead walls, squinting to make sure their mind wasn’t playing tricks on them. Sure enough, it was a pair of white glasses staring back at them, beckoning them to leave their station to join him in the forest outside._

_It was the middle of the night. No one was out and awake outside of them, still working with barely any stops to eat or sleep. They had a war in almost a day, they had to finish reinforcing their walls. If no one else was going to do it then they will._

_It was around now that they started to wonder why they never thought to go to their leader or warn anyone of their sightings. But they didn’t. They left._

_The cool night air filled them and left them trembling with relief at the chance of a break._

_They followed the shorter Englishman towards their destination. He hadn’t answered any of their questions uptill now._

_Where were they going?_

_Why was he out here?_

_Why the fuck did he nearly shoot them in the head?_

_They nearly stumbled in their footing as they neared an opening to a pond, it glittered under the moonlight in gentle waves._

_A figure stood with its back to them as they approached. Despite the poor lighting, they could easily tell whom it was._

_His mask stood high on face, a crooked smile being the only thing they could make out of his appearance._

_“Eret! It’s so good to see you!” He almost purred, it felt disgusting to hear now and then._

_“Can’t say the same to you.” They stood their ground._

_“So cold. I thought we were friends?”_

_“We’ve never been friends, Dream.”_

_“But we could be.”_

_There was a pause before Eret spoke again, voice weary._

_“I don’t know what you’re suggesting but I’m leaving, Wilbur will freak if he doesn’t see me out there.”_

_“That’s the problem, Eret. Aren’t you tired of working nonstop for him? What has he done for you? Has he congratulated you for your work? Has he helped you with those walls? Has anyone helped you? Or, has he just been making you do the work for him? Not even employing the rest of his team to work either.”_

_“What’s your point?”_

_“Look at yourself, you didn’t need to join L’manberg or whatever the hell they call themselves, I don’t even think you believe in them.”_

_“I believe Wilbur has a point, and although I don’t agree with his choice of methods, I do think that he’ll start the beginnings of change, one that has been needed.”_

_A pregnant pause._

_“Well said.”_

_Another pause, then a quiet, “was that all?” From the L’manbergian._

_“I called you out here to make a request, an offer.”_

_“And that would be? If you’re asking for intel, you won’t be getting that from me.”_

_“I think we could be good friends. We both have things that the other wants.”_

_Eret raised a brow, although they didn’t believe anything coming out his mouth at time, they still stayed and listened._ They wonder why.

_“You were building a castle before you joined those rebels. Can I ask why you stopped? You gave up everything for them.”_

_“I believe that’s none of your business, Dream.”_

_“Fair. But, then let me ask you this. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have power? To actually be king? Royalty and a throne to your name?”_

_They didn’t answer._ Why didn’t they leave at that point? They knew deep down what was going to happen.

_“I can give you that power. The title of the king of the SMP. You’d have rule over all of this server’s territory.”_

_“So what’s the catch?”_ Why did they even try to humour his idea?

_He grinned, and they could swear they saw rows of sharp teeth lined up and ready to snap._

_“I need your help. I need you to betray them during the war.”_

_They laughed, he didn’t._

_He was serious._

_“I’m not joking around here, Eret. But if you think this is all a sick joke to you then feel free to leave.”_

They should have, they should’ve just left in disbelief.

_They stood their ground, stupidly stubborn until the very end.  
“You were saying, Dream?”_

_He smiled wickedly._

_They got to details, they couldn’t even believe themself when they complied._

_They got to planning._

Why did they just let it happen? Was the golden crown worth all the pain?

They considered Tubbo a brother to them, they’d been close long before L’manberg had started as a simple drug caravan, so why did they just betray him? Or any of them for that matter? They were practically all family.

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why-

Someone was shaking them but they weren’t asleep. They vaguely had an idea what was happening, they’ve experienced this before.

“Eret?” A voice gently prodded at their numb brain.

They attempted a response, more so coming out as a mess of noises.

“Can you try to focus on my hand? How many fingers am I holding up?”

They blinked a few times, squinting as their sights finally focused on something that wasn’t Dream’s stupid smiley mask.

It was a dumb question but somehow they couldn’t answer at first, taking their time to watch through their glazed vision to double check what they were seeing.

“...four?”

“What about now?”

It changed.

“Five?”

“And now?”

“One.” They answered more clearly, eyes flickering as their vision fully returned to them.

They were being held up by someone, noticing the strands of pink hair against their chest, they could assume who it was.

Phil was crouched down in front of them, sweat beading at his skin as he looked at them in utter relief.

They could only vaguely make out Ghostbur standing nearby, holding a chunk of blue to hand to them the moment Phil moved away.

Tommy stood besides him, eyebrows stressed in concern. Or was he upset? They weren’t sure, it was hard to guess the kid’s emotions anytime but this just seemed like a horrible quiz to test how guilty they felt.

“Thought we lost you there for a second, mate. You stopped responding.” Phil attempted to joke, which they could only nod at as they tried to move out of Techno’s grip.

“What did I miss?” They asked with a rough voice as they leaned against the back of the couch, still having to lean against the piglin’s shoulder for support, who didn’t seem to care in the slightest.

“Bullying orphans.” Techno responded simply.

“I am not a fucking orphan!” Tommy huffed, anger seemingly never leaving his tiny body as he got worked up again.

“No, but you will be when I get Phil to finally disown you.”

They snorted whilst Phil quickly went to reassure Tommy that he would never actually leave him.

Tommy just huffed and tried to push away his dad as he tried to argue again with Techno, who genuinely looked bored with their conversation but kept him entertained anyway.

Eret laughed emptily and continued like that as the day went on. Going through the motions of being perfectly fine to not alert anyone’s radar. They weren’t even sure if anyone actually knew what their episode earlier was. Maybe they really did think they fell asleep instead of being sucked into a flashback they didn’t want to recount.

They kept up the facade as they attempted to eat lunch and dinner, making Phil look at them in such proudness that made them sick. They avoided looking in Tommy’s direction for too long to keep the vines of guilt leeching off of them from choking them.

They stayed quiet when Ghostbur talked, feeling a pang of shame whenever they heard their old friend in his voice.

They knew they weren’t completely fooling anyone, even Tommy seemed unsettled by how much they were trying to come off as normal, before their time as king and before when they were able to sleep at night without a guilty conscience.

But no one questioned it and so they kept going until the night finally fell upon the house and they shooed away Phil’s worrying when they tried to retire to bed earlier than anyone else.

They were actually tired but sleep wasn’t going to change that, nor was it likely it was even going to happen.

The hours went on and on, they heard Phil saying goodnight from downstairs as he went to bed, soon enough Tommy joined him as he yelled going down the basement stairs.

And then the hours continued on and on.

The dim moonlight was shining down onto their shoulders, sitting silently in a bundle of blankets against the window sill.

They have been in a downwards spiral ever since coming here, despite all the new love and support they were getting.  
They knew recovery wasn’t linear but this felt like a cruel joke. The time they’re finally given recognition and support, they wash it down the drain, feeling worse than ever trying to interact with everyone.

Sniffling as an endless pit of guilt filled their thoughts, they pulled the blankets closer to themself, attempting to cover up the coldness that seemed to always stick to them.

They knew it wasn’t healthy to stay up at night crying away their sorrows then go through the motions of the next day as if they were doing just fine, but it was all they could do.

They couldn’t ever have true forgiveness, Tommy will always look at them in fear of them betraying them all again.  
And they knew, deep down, they didn’t fully regret their decision, becoming king was both the best and worst thing to ever happen to them.

Sure, they couldn’t think of any actual good memories with the kingship outside of being able to finish the pride palace but that’s okay.

. . .

Was it okay?

They didn’t even furnish it, it was so empty and barren constantly.

They still couldn’t get the look that Phil had given them after he came back with their things out of their mind, a look of understanding and pity.

Cracking under the heaviness of their thoughts, they let out a choked sob, burying their face in their knees.  
They didn’t hear the trap door to their room shuffling, only the fact that the temperature had felt like it had dropped ten degrees alerted them of someone else’s presence.

Hesitantly with tired, red-rimmed eyes, they looked up to see the ghostly apparition of their former friend leaning down in front of them.

“I heard you crying.” He said simply, handing them a chunk of the blue substance he carried around everywhere.

With a strangled laugh, they took it, holding it gently in their shaking hands. “Thank you, Ghostbur.” They thanked, voice wobbly with emotion.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, currently attempting to sit down next to them without disrupting their mess of blankets.

They didn’t answer immediately, frowning at the question as if he meant to attack them, even if he was just trying to calm them down.

“What were you saying you remembered about me from Alivebur?” They asked, keeping in mind to use _‘Alivebur’_ instead of _‘Wilbur’_ around him after he had very annoyedly complained about them repeatedly calling him Wilbur earlier.

He hummed pleasantly as he thought about it, opening his mouth to speak a few times before his eyebrows furrowed downwards and he stopped.  
“I…remember you built us our wall, and I was so proud of you. You were putting so much more effort in than anyone else at that point. But….everything after that hurts to think about…”

They stayed silent, eyes glued to the freezing floorboards.

“You did something after that right? That’s why I can’t remember you, the history books and national anthem all paint you as the villain…” He more so stated rather than asked, clearly not meaning to get an answer, but they provided one anyway.

“I betrayed you all.” They admitted, guilt breaking through their voice.

“Why?”

God they wish they knew the answer to that.

Was it the material wealth? Feeling pressured into saying yes to Dream’s deal? Did they really not have faith in L’manberg winning and wanted to make it less of a slaughterhouse for them? To give them a chance to live past the ruined revolution?

Or were they truly that uncaring about the cause.

They knew they believed in Wilbur at one point, they had followed him to battle and despite everything, still tried to help him when he wanted nothing to do with them afterwards.

They couldn’t even remember clearly why they did what they did, just that the aftermath was horrible.

Ghostbur slowly reached over and handed them more _blue_ with a smile.

“You looked upset.”

Did he already forget what they were talking about? He did that earlier, were memories of them that harmful?

“When I feel sad, I just pretend like it never happened.”

“Not all of us have the liberty to do that, Ghostbur.”

A heavy blanket of tension acting as silence laid over the room with an iron fist.

Neither of them spoke for a while, one was scared of what the other was going to say next, and the other wasn’t sure what to do to help.

“Do you think we could go outside?” The ghost asked.

“It’s the middle of the night.”

“And?”

“...”

“Sure.”

The transparent being held onto their far too thin wrist and led them towards their coat. Eret could feel their wrist freeze with the contact, but couldn’t bring themself to tell the other.

Tiredly dragging the coat half-hazardously on, throwing a cloak on over it, they quietly opened their trapdoor.  
They were praying that Techno wasn’t awake for once during the night.

Ghostbur restlessly awaited for them to meet him at the front door with their boots at the entrance, his hands beckoning them to hurry up.

Slipping on their shoes, they hurried out the door, being sure to open and close it as softly as possible, as to not awake anyone else in the house, wincing as the door still somehow managed to creak in protest.  
They couldn’t worry about that right now, as Ghostbur was already dragging them further into the snowy biome.

Pulling on their hand like an excited child at a fair, he led them out to the tiny lake not far from the house, completely covered in a thick layer of ice. It felt like a bad memory.

“Watch this.”

He moved out to the middle of the ice, sitting down as he stuck his clear arm directly through the ice and into the water below.

“You can go through things?” They blinked, watching as the ghost just threw his hand back as if he had forgotten the water was going to burn him.

“Mhm, I just didn’t think it was important to mention, so you’re the first person to find out!” He admitted with a smile. “I thought it would make you feel better.”

They cracked a smile at that, nodding, silently squatting down to join him at the edge of the ice that was sparkling under the moonlight. They snickered as the phantom kept at it, doing anything in his power to make them laugh, eventually throwing himself in the snow, only to immediately regret it and dashing out to avoid sizzling from the water.

The minutes passed by fast, Ghostbur would keep their conversations going with random facts or stories from when he was with Tommy in Logstedshire.

They listened along with a fond look, not minding that it was keeping them up, they had doubted they were going to be able to get any sleep tonight either way.

“Do you want to see something cool?” They asked suddenly as an idea sparked in their head.

He nodded, looking at them curiously as they lifted their sleeves to reveal their blackened grey skin that sprinkled up their arms. Sitting up, they took a handful of snow into their palms and watched as the withering effect kicked in.

The white flakes slowly floated up as they deteriorated into small particles of nothingness, going on until the snow piles were completely gone.

“Woah…that was, I think the best memory I’ll have for the next week.” He beamed as he pointed to the snow again, gesturing for them to do it again.

They complied, grabbing another clump of the frosted snow into their bare hands, not minding how cold it was getting.

They kept going until Ghostbur mentioned that it looked like it was going to snow again, and he didn’t want to get caught in the weather again without any way to protect himself.

“Again?”

“Dream sent me out in the snow before to go on a journey for him.”

“Oh.”

Eret lifted themself out of the snow, wiping away any of the remnants of them being out here off of their skirt and coat. Lifting the end of the cloak, they motioned for Ghostbur to join them under it until they got back to house, who took their offer immediately.

It wasn’t until they got back to the front door that they realised they hadn’t smiled like that in a long time.

It was a change they welcomed with open arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sO UH I MADE A DISCORD FOR THIS FIC  
> https://discord.gg/qVQjySgwWy  
> Ig it wouldn’t mainly be for the fic, (since like;;; I don’t necessarily want to discuss future spoilers unless it’s just mentioning a possible idea) it’s more so bc y’all are so nice & comment like every single time I upload & im like :,) why are people so nice, I wanna talk to u guys omg  
> So I thought a discord server would be fun since I could interact w/ y’all & maybe incorporate ideas & headcanons you guys have into the story :)  
> Someone is already in there & they’re v v pog so u should come join us !!! :D <3


	9. IX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Techno: hey wanna commit mass terrorism?  
> Eret: i’m sorry what-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha more angst, here u go :>  
> *hands u discord link*  
> https://discord.gg/qVQjySgwWy
> 
> WARNING  
> References to depression, trauma-related panic attacks, flashbacks
> 
> ALSO, if you guys didn’t know (it was mentioned on Eret’s stream a few weeks ago but if u missed Ranboo or Techno’s stream last night too then u might not know) but Eret has this secret wither skull spawner that only him & Techno know abt & she helped him get all the withers skulls for doomsday

Some days were easier, some were worse for wear.

Sometimes they could pressure themself to get up in the morning without any issues. They could leave their godforsaken ~~prison~~ castle without worrying about what others will say to them. They could see their friends, they could laugh, and they could be happy.

Other days they wished they could crawl into a hole and rot.

Somehow today was a mix of both, unsurprisingly not a good thing but not terrible.

In some aspects, it wasn’t all that bad. They could bring themself to talk with the others, even Tommy, without the itching feeling to leave or escape. They attempted to eat most meals with the rest of the household, even if it felt like a stab through the gut every time.

They also had a newfound changing and mending relationship with their former president that everyone had noticed was different.

Ghostbur would leave Tommy’s side more often to sit with them or just make small talk, even when they stopped responding to all his overwhelming questions. The fact that all it took was one conversation for them to be on good terms was hopeful for their future confrontations with others.

Obviously no one else would be as easy as talking with Ghostbur, as he ignored or ‘forgot’ anything he didn’t like to hear so it was easy to start off with a clean slate with him. But it was a step in the right direction.

They still needed to formally apologise to Tommy. Which was honestly still scary, they’re never on good enough terms with each other long enough to have a serious conversation. Even with Phil and Techno forcing them both to ‘behave’ and not ‘yell at each other’. More so applying to Tommy but there have been times they nearly snapped at the kid.

Eret glanced outside their bundle of blankets to check the time, wincing at the sudden sunlight. It was probably early afternoon. Should they get up? It’s not like they had anything to do and wallowing in their worries sounded better than facing everyone else. That motto had stuck to them for months now and it wasn’t changing.

An answer to their question showed up sooner than they thought as heavy boots stepped up to the base of the ladder with a familiar piglin peeking his head up from the trapdoor, ears twitching. “Get up and wear something you can put armour over.”

“What-“ before they could even question him, he had already left, jumping down from his place on the ladder.

“Phil’s upset you’ve just been moping around for days so you’re coming with us!” He called up, ignoring their sputtering on how they weren’t ‘moping’ around.

“I actually have something to show you. Hurry up!” He then added, which they knew translated to hurry up or he will drag them down there himself.

Dragging themself out of bed, Eret shuffled through their bag of clothes for a dress shirt and jeans, hurrying to change before Techno tried to call for them again.

They scrambled down the ladder, looking to see Techno already handing them their boots to leave. As they slipped them on, he yelled over to Tommy, who was apparently busy making them potions.

“Double the amount of invisibility potions!”

“You got it, big man!”

They were starting to doubt that Tommy knew they were tagging along because there was no way he would’ve willingly accepted that had he known who it was for.

“God, I love child labour.” Techno deadpanned as he unlocked the front door to bring them to who knows where.

They couldn’t keep a straight face at that one, cracking up quietly as they left the house behind to face the cold winter. The frost hit against their face uncomfortably, shifting their sunglasses out of place as they kept trying to adjust them.

“Where’s Phil at?” They asked, just now noticing that he never tried to talk to them for the two seconds they were downstairs.

“Out mining with Ghostbur.”

“Ah.”

Techno led them out towards a mountain side near his house, a little confused as there was nothing actually there, just a weirdly flat side of a mountain. As they came to a stop, they could swear they could see the pride light up Techno’s face whilst they looked around the area in confusion.

“Press the button.”

They blinked at him, which he annoyedly groaned at and pointed towards the button on the side, hiding in amongst the jagged stones, muttering something about how that killed the mysterious vibe.

Without any better option, they stepped towards the button in question, pressing it lightly as the sounds of pistols moving filled their eardrums.

Techno practically yanked them back to the middle of the entrance with a wide grin as the stones fell out of place and hit the ground below with a thump, revealing a site they weren’t expecting to see.

The darkened room opened to reveal rows upon rows of wither skulls lines the walls with chests clearly filled to the brim with materials alongside it. It was ironic now to see them in their full glory after Techno had finally figured out they were a wither hybrid.  
Squinting to see further down the room, they let out a tiny gasp at the multiple stands of full glistering netherite armour.

“You didn’t-“

“I sure did.”

They didn’t even want to know how long he spent throwing this together after his last secret weapon caché got used by everyone during the Manburg war.

“So this is what all those wither skulls went towards?!” They questioned as their gaze flickered between the piglin and the room.

“Oh, no, yours are being kept for future use, these were all my extras.”

Eret blinked blankly at him, genuinely starting to wonder if he ever actually slept to achieve this. They knew he was in ‘retirement’ for a month but…this was insane.

Breaking eye contact with him, they moved towards the back to examine the armour left for them, as he told them to gear up.

They strapped the armour on one by one, still utterly amazed by the effort he must’ve put in for this to just be used by one or two people. Overachiever indeed.

Techno apparently had been looking for weapons to give them because as soon as they turned back around, he was already holding out an axe and sword for them to take.

“Where exactly are we going?” They finally asked, seeing as they had already gotten past the surprise bit he had been talking about.

“Remember the hound army? They need food.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah, Phil just wanted you out of the house.”

Eret just rolled their eyes, even if they were hidden under the shaded glasses they wore. They really had to get up to participate in a food run for a group of dogs? That was easy.

Well, they had assumed so anyway.

They made their back to the house wordlessly but Techno would still snicker whenever he’d look over and see Eret looking over the armour in amazement.

The moment Techno had told Tommy they were tagging along with them, it was obvious he was ready to break the glass bottle in his hands. They almost flinched as he bore daggers of a glare into their soul.

Techno had to be the one to pass them a few potions, as Tommy refused to, and soon enough he also threw a blue cloak towards them as they got ready to leave, mentioning that they might as well dress like them if they were going to all go together.

Their lips perked up into a tiny smile at the small gesture and slipped it over their shoulders. It was really starting to feel like they were being accepted here as another family member.

Technoblade led the way towards New L’manberg, keeping them in a silent but not unpleasant mood as they passed through the snowy forest. It wasn’t as windy today like it was a few days ago, and the practical blizzard that had struck had died down as well.

Tommy kept to Techno’s side as they walked, with them just trailing behind them without a complaint.

The walk felt faster than usual as they neared the community house, already having drank their invisibility potions to avoid any wandering eyes. It was practically midday, people had to be out and about, especially near the community house of all places, everyone passed through there multiple times a day.

Going through the water in heavy netherite armour felt like hell itself to be able to reach the ladder way down to the sewers, not even going to question why they hid a group of dogs in the L’manberg sewer system. God knows they’d just get a cryptic answer from Techno or a ‘fuck you’ from Tommy.

Neither of which sounded all that pleasant.

They lit a match and therefore lit their torches as the sewers were notoriously dark and hard to see in. It was no problem for the hybrids but they doubted Tommy was going to be able to see anything without the light.

Techno yet again led them, carrying their barrels of rotten flesh and meat towards where their apparent secret stash of dogs were hiding at.

They had to wonder why he had brought so much but they assumed it was so the dogs wouldn’t go hungry if he couldn’t stop by again soon enough.

They were wrong, so very wrong.

Techno had brought them to a broken, open part of the stone covering the walls, stepping inside the slim non lit-up area just led them to a large group of white dogs huddled around each other, perking up happily when their owner showed up with boxes of food.

It was a lot, but they were expecting more for how much he tried to hype up his so-called army.

The moment he noticed their bemused expression, he just snorted, telling them that this was nothing and that he actually had two other locations with more dogs at the ready.

It was obvious he was extremely proud of his dogs, it was almost funny seeing as the so-called Blade never cared that much about anything other than himself and maybe Phil.

So they followed along, occasionally grabbing some of the meat themself to hand out to the hungry dogs as Tommy and Techno were busy, sitting down on the sidelines to quietly pet a few of them. They were all well trained, Eret had to wonder if they both had put the effort in to train these dogs to be combat oriented.

“They’re the weapon of surprise.” Techno had mentioned when they got to the last group of dogs.

“For what though? What on earth would you need an army of dogs for?” Eret asked back, still confused on what the purpose of their plan was.

“Threaten people, make L’manberg give me my stuff back, have them kill the entire country. Many possibilities.”

They weren’t sure why they thought he’d give them any answer different from that.

Tommy then tried to argue that they were just going to commit ‘minor terrorism’ and not actually hurt anyone. Which Techno just scoffed at.

Eventually, Techno had gotten to the last dogs and hid away the extra bits in the crates for future use, god knows what’ll happen if someone just happened to see that walking through the sewers.

Then again, they never saw anyone go through the sewers whenever they’d go down there to mess with their beacons. Maybe that’s why no one has found them yet.

“Can’t we go harass people or something?! This was so quick.” Tommy complained to his brother as they packed up to leave.

“No.”

“Dude you’re so lame, we have so many invisibility potions and for what.”

“You messed up on like half of them! You wasted so many golden carrots! We’re keeping them for later.”

“Oh my godddd-“ 

“Stop. You’re an embarrassment to be related to.”

“Say that to my face, bitch!”

“I literally did.”

Eret watched as the two of them argued curiously from the sidelines. They had to admit, Techno was more like Wilbur than they expected him to be. Maybe it was a twin thing.

The two kept at it as they silently cleaned up after them, watching over their bickering with a fond look as they waited by the exit to the endless hallways of the sewer system.

Techno was tousling Tommy’s hair, avoiding all the hits the boy kept trying to make as he laughed. However, the moment the piglin’s eyes met their pupilless ones, he immediately stopped, a pink dust rising over his face.

“This isn’t what it looks like, I don’t even know who this child is.”

“HEY-“ Tommy went to interrupt but they cut him to chase, immediately breaking out into a fit of snickering as Techno kept trying to defend himself.

“I didn’t even know you had the brotherly instincts in you.” Eret coughed out between wheezes. 

Techno immediately elbowed them in the shoulder as he passed them, muttering a feigned apology with a smirk as he went to lead them towards the exit with their goals complete.

They followed after the two of them with a hazy grin.

As they continued their walk down the cold sewer system, they felt a strange sense of calmness as they began to walk back towards the underneath of their castle.

They wanted to go back inside, even for a few minutes, but they doubted Techno would allow it without being by their side the entire time. Nor would Tommy want to step anywhere near it.

Techno took them down a different corridor, different from how they got there but they weren’t sure if Techno was doing that on purpose. They didn’t exactly want to question the Blade on his sense of direction.

Still, it was strange that they were going back towards L’manberg.

They really hoped no one was going through the sewers at this time, even with them having invisibility potions it was terrifying to run into anyone. They doubted the piglin would let whoever it was to leave without nearly dying first.

They kept walking in silence, with Tommy and Techno in front and them trailing shortly behind holding their own torch. The only sounds were from the water splashing against their steps, soaking the rolled up cuffs of their jeans uncomfortably.

A few minutes passed before the Blade suddenly stopped in his movements, causing them to nearly trample into him.

“We went too far.” He said simply.

“You think?! Where’s your internal compass, big man?” Tommy huffed, wiping away at the droplets of water hitting his face.

“There’s an exit by my castle we could go back to.” Eret suggested, which Tommy shot down quickly with a ‘hell no’.

“Actually…there’s something up here I noticed when I was running away from my execution site. You might know what it is, I had zero clue.”

Tommy glanced in their direction for a simple answer and they just shrugged, just as clueless as he was.

Without any better option, they followed as Technoblade led them further down the dark hallways.

“So were you actually executed? I never heard anything about it.” Eret asked. The only clue they had gotten about it was from one comment the piglin had made about it when they were sitting at the outskirts of the SMP.

“Uh yeah, they threatened to kill Carl if I didn’t come back with them to L’manberg to get a trial for my ‘war crimes’ apparently. But no one there actually listens to their own laws because I didn’t even get a trial, just stuck under a hanging anvil.”

“How’d you…survive..?”

“A totem.”

“Ah.”

And that was the end of that, they seemed more uncomfortable talking about it than Techno, in fact, he seemed proud of his escape, not that they could blame him. But did they hear word that Quackity had gotten scars up from his mouth from a losing battle against Technoblade, they weren’t sure if the two were related but it seemed likely.

The three of them kept in their track, but soon enough a _very_ familiar hallway appeared in their sights. Somehow the temperature felt like it had dropped tremendously, tremors creaking up their spine as they came to a forced stop.

The Final Control Room, or what had remained of it really.

How did Techno not know about this?

“What happened here?” Techno asked simply, moving past the two of them to investigate inside the walls they had hand built.

A sense of panic started to build up inside them. It wasn’t triggering to see the room, they’d actually visited it multiple times before to escape from work, what they were worried about was Tommy and how he was going to react to it.

The boy had stopped the moment he seemed to recognise the room, shaking like a leaf with heavy and short breaths. Fog clearing over his eyes as he mumbled incoherently under his breath.

“Tommy?” Eret hesitantly asked, knowing full well they weren’t the person who should be comforting him right now. They went to take a step towards him but he quickly backed away, movements shaky and jagged.

“No, no, stay the fuck away from me!” He shouted, alerting Techno to run back out to them in a rush of worry.

They took a step back in compliance, hands up in surrender as they kept eye contact with the boy. It didn’t matter what they did, whatever he was seeing wasn’t them, but what they did in the past.

They glanced at Techno, wordlessly gesturing to him to come help, who looked equally as concerned and nervous. He didn’t know what was happening and it wasn’t like they could pull him aside to explain, so they were on their own.

“You fucking traitor! We trusted you!” He shouted, taking more steps back to hit the wall on the other side of the hall. Legs shaking as he slid down to sit down, arms crossed tightly to protect himself from whatever he was witnessing.

His jagged breathing peaked as he let out a lowly scream, slowing down slightly after as he looked around the darkened hall in confusion and glaze covered eyes, whines from his unorganised breathing still breaking past his lips.

They knew fully what that had to be. They had experienced it themself only a few days prior.

Slowly, they took a step forward but he didn’t react at all, too focused on clearing his swerving vision. They kept at it until they could crouch down in front of him at a distance, whispering quietly to ask if he was alright.

They knew it was coming before Tommy raised his hand, but as soon as they spoke, he slapped them across the face, hard. A red mark splotted their skin as they almost instinctively moved further back out of his reach.

“You selfish bitch!” He choked out between broken sobs.

They tried to nod understandingly, ignoring the burning feeling against their cheek. “Do you know where you are?” They asked again, attempting to sound more gentle than before.

“I…” He went to say something but paused, breathing still raised as he looked around the room anxiously, confusion still obvious from his face.

“You’re in the L’manberg sewers, alright? You’re safe. No one is going to hurt you.” 

“No, no, you just-“

“That was in the past. Whatever you saw isn’t happening right now. Right now, you’re safe. See, Techno’s right here, he wasn’t in the revolution, remember?”

He glanced over their shoulder, watching as his brother joined them in sitting on the ground. Techno glanced at them anxiously for an okay before he gently set a hand over Tommy’s, pulling it to rest against his leg rather than dig into his sides.

“Take a deep breath-“ They began to instruct.

“I can’t breathe-“ Tommy tried to argue, voice breaking as he tried to breathe in.

“You can, breathe in for four seconds, hold it for seven, then let it out for eight, rinse and repeat.” Eret led him through the exercise, smiling when his breathing slowly began to calm to a normal level.

The moment a glint of recognition showed in his eyes, Tommy immediately went to feverishly wipe away the tears staining his face, surprisingly mumbling an apology.

“You don’t have to apologise, none of that was your fault.” They immediately spoke over him, eyes immensely conflicted on what to say next. Why was he trying to apologise? He never did that before and for something they caused? It was concerning to say the least.

Tommy looked at them as if he was about to argue but stopped, just nodding tiredly as he went to get to his feet.

“I want to go home.” He simply said, exhaustion and anger still evident in his tone.

Techno nodded as he wrapped an arm around his little brother protectively. He looked towards Eret, which they assumed was for them to explain the way out.

“Go back towards my beacons, right before it there's a ladder to the community house. Take an invisibility potion before you go up.”

“Heh?? Are you not coming with us?” 

“I…” Why weren’t they coming with? They weren’t entirely sure themself. “I have some unfinished business here, just…go on ahead, I’ll be back soon.” They explained, keeping their gaze stern to keep him from arguing back, especially for Tommy’s sake.

“Phil’s gonna be so pissed but okay. Don’t get caught.” He huffed, leading Tommy towards the way they came, leaving them to stand coldly in front of the room that had brought everyone nightmares with only a dim torch to light their way.

It wasn’t as unsettling as anyone would expect, in fact, they found comfort in visiting the dreaded room. When Dream or work would get too much for them, they’d pass by, sitting against the now dormant detonator in relaxation.

Slipping past the destroyed bits of an exit, they trailed their old footprints towards the blackstoned room. The chests they had made still stood with the signs they had so intricately written across, now with the addition of Techno’s, which most likely was holding his items after the execution if they had to guess.

The detonator laid forgotten on the ground, with parts of the room being destroyed, they could point out the details of their plan others hadn’t seen. The amount of effort they had put in for everything to be perfect.

Eret had done all of this, the redstone, the planned out traps, and the entirety of building the room with the ironically leftover resources from building the L’manberg wall. It was from them.

It was a cruel irony to think they could try to redeem themself from this when they had fully put their efforts into participating in the betrayal. They weren’t coerced, although the predicaments of the meeting were unnerving and they doubted they would’ve been able to return to L’manberg had they continuously said no, they had fully committed to screwing over their friends and family’s hopes and dreams. At least that’s how they saw it.

They stopped beside the device, letting their worn-out cloak lay under them as they sat down, legs crossed as their blank eyes bore into the back of the entrance sign.

===============  
The Final Control Room  
===============

Quite a name, they had to say they were still proud of coming up with that. That and their saying, one that had continued to be used by others in their own sacrifices.

_“Down with the revolution boys, it was never meant to be.”_

The pack of far too young soldiers followed them down the stairway with such confidence and faith it was almost laughable. They had believed in them. Even if they were the most cast aside member of their scrawny battalion.

Wilbur had this power to bring everyone together. They knew it well, the two had been some sort of friends before they joined his cause. They looked up to him even, once proud to say he was their leader.

The two would have talks nighty after they joined, with him taking refuge in their passive nature to vent over his worries for what’s to come.

_”Eret, be honest with me, do you think we’ll live to tell our story? Do you think I can be a president to these people?”_

_They had smiled so earnestly, so carefree and confident in their friend._

_“Of course, and if we die, we’ll go down in history trying.”_

When did their attitude change? What really caused them to switch sides at the price of a crown and fancy title?

They knew they weren’t stupid, they knew what really was behind Dream’s plan for their kingship.

They were nothing more than a figure head. The player’s king in a game of chess. A pawn to be used and manipulated in any way he pleased.

Maybe it was their ego, pride, that had led them down that path. They hated to remember it but once they had been officially crowned, they had felt above anyone and everyone. Looking down scornfully at their former friends with a fake smile upon their face.

Then it went downhill so drastically as they finally realised the weight of their mistake, what they had actually done.

It wasn’t fun, being king, it was hell, and there was nothing they could’ve done to change it other than refuse Dream’s deal.

Eret let out a tired yet shaky sigh, running a hand through their hair, not sure whether or not they should start the track back to the arctic now or wait until they were fully ready to face Phil’s wrath for staying behind.

They didn’t need to think for much longer as soon enough, a familiar voice spoke up from the exit.

“Are you done here?” A monotone voice spoke, stretching and turning to see Techno standing there with an expressionless face.

How did he always end up finding them at strange timings?

“You shouldn’t leave Tommy alone.” They said instead of answering, which for some reason confused the piglin, an eyebrow quirked at their reaction.

“I messaged Phil on the way back and got Tommy to the house already, he’s looking after him. You’ve been here for over half an hour.”

“Oh.” They said simply, confused for a second as it had only felt like a few minutes to them.

Techno shrugged himself away from the wall and stepped inside, seemingly studying the state of the room and the wooden chests lining the walls in particular.

“What actually happened here?” He asked.

“You really don’t know?”

He shook his head.

“...No wonder you two act like I’m innocent, it was a sabotage to end the revolution.”

“I got that part but what’s with all the..” He waved towards the signed chests against the blackstone walls.

“I brought them here under the guise that I had gear and a secret weapon to kill Dream and the rest of his team. The chests are empty, well except mine, I put a smiley face in there.”

“Then what, you just started going 1v4?” He joked, surprisingly seemingly more interested than upset over the fact that they had taken both his brothers’ lives here. Though they guessed Techno did have a weird way of showing how he cared.

“No, the detonator,” they raised the wired button with one hand, “opened the sides of the room so that Dream and them could run in. It simultaneously closed the entrance so they couldn’t escape.” They got to their feet, leading him towards the entrance. “See those stairs? Notice how they’re more blocky and rough on the way up, it slows anyone down who got past the exit, it was purposeful.” They explained with a mix of pride for their creation and overwhelming regret.

“Impressive.”

Eret looked at him in confusion, watching as he actually admired their handywork.

“Look, if I was here during this whole thing and found out what you did, you would’ve been a dead man, but I am a man who has committed many war crimes so I can appreciate your work.”

“Uh…thank you I guess…?” Eret stumbled over their words, not fully sure how to respond to that.

“Why did you want to stay back here? Seems kind of counterproductive with your whole redemption arc.” He then asked.

“It’s comforting.” He shot them a weird look so they continued. “I’m serious, it’s very weirdly nice to come back here. I hid away from Dream down here way too many times and he never thought to look because why would I go down here?”

“I suppose that makes sense.”

They fell into a silence afterwards for a few moments, avoiding eye contact as Techno continued to check out the room mechanics.

“Can I be honest with you for a second?” He then asked, completely serious. They nodded slowly, a little nervous at his suddenness. Normally he kept to himself and they hadn’t known each other for that long to have any personal conversations so whatever this was had to be important.

“Tommy and I aren’t on good terms, I know we look like, oh we’re all buddies now, but he doesn’t completely trust me and I don’t trust him. So have I told him all of my plans? No. But I want you to know that I have many, many ideas. I have zero plans on making my revenge just ‘minor terrorism’ as he put it.”

“And that means..?”

“Remember the wither skulls? I plan on destroying the entirety of L’manberg.” He couldn’t even keep a straight face while saying it, he started laughing as he continued. “Oh my god it’s going to be so great. You think Wilbur’s explosion was bad? Oh, no no, this place will be dug down to bedrock.”

Eret couldn’t say they were necessarily shocked, it was Technoblade they were talking to, they also had their own theories on why the piglin had asked for so many wither skulls from them in the first place. Still, it sent a shiver down their spin as they maintained eye contact with the anarchist.

“Why are you telling me this? You know I don’t have any use with this information.”

“Because you seem like someone I can trust. Tommy’s getting there but he’s so switchy on who he trusts. Honestly annoying if you ask me.”

They couldn’t argue with that. A little surprised though as he did mention before that they do the same thing, but they were at least actively aware of it.

“So basically I’m asking if you’ll join me, I want to ask Tommy when I’m sure he won’t betray me two seconds later but you seem pretty neutral on all this. Also you’re like half wither, do you know how easy it would be for you to just tell them to not attack me? It was so awkward the first time when they just tried to go after me.”

“Who’s all in on this?”

“I can’t tell you everything but Phil is.”

“...I’ll think about it.” They concluded, more so just wanting to avoid the conversation. They didn’t want to blow up L’manberg, even if almost everyone in the country hated them and wanted them dead. They still had friends there.

Techno frowned at their answer but let it slide, pointing towards the exit to wordlessly ask if they were ready to leave, which they nodded at as they brushed away the dust coating their coat and armour.

They walked in silence towards the exit, taking a swig of their invisibility potions as they climbed their way out of the dreadful sewer system.

It was still a quick swim to get out, annoyingly drenching their armour and hair as they walked through the cold intensified air.

The closer they got to the forest between the two places, they noticed how Techno seemed to tense up, seemingly trying to figure out the best way to ask something. They honestly couldn’t wrap their head around how clearly he could lay out his intentions to destroy an entire nation and then stumble over a simple question the next second.

“Phil wanted to ask this himself but Ghostbur keeps referring to you as uh…other pronouns, I don’t know if he just got it wrong but…yeah. Thought you should know.”

They froze slightly, before quickly moving back to speed, gaze stuck towards the ground. “He’s right, I just never mentioned it but I do use all pronouns, I mainly refer to myself as they/them but I have no preference. Most use solely he/him out of convenience. You don’t have to use them though, not a lot of people do nor know about it.”

“Eret, I could care less what pronouns you use or identity as, it’s fine. Here, ‘this is Eret, they are a pain in the ass because I have to keep babysitting him because she never leaves the house and avoids everyone.’”

They smiled at him, despite what he was really trying to get at.

“I’m serious, Phil’s getting concerned, you never try to talk to us.”

“I don’t have anything to talk about.”

“You still haven’t told us why Dream is on the hunt for you, you just ignored the fact that you had a flashback right in front of us, you act like you want to leave anytime we talk to you. I’m not a doctor but that doesn’t sound uh, healthy. You don’t have to tell us anything I _guess_ but if Dream shows up here, I’d like to know why I’m defending you.”

They knew he had a point, still it felt like a stab to the throat to hear it aloud.

“I haven’t wanted to talk about it, not exactly happy memories for me.”

“I don’t care much either way but Phil’s definitely going to ask about it sooner than later.”

They nodded, wanting nothing more than the conversation to be over with and for them to get back inside.

“You know we honestly don’t care what you did. You could tell us you killed half your nation and we wouldn’t give a shit, we just want an explanation.”

. . .

Right.

Eret didn’t respond any further, just holding their cloak in place as they continued to walk further and further into the snowy tundra. Vision swimming as they stepped closer towards their new home.

It was weird, they finally were starting to see this place as an actual home. More so than they ever saw the castle.

Maybe things were getting better in their own way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, I love to make fun of c!Tommy but like;;; he did have character development from his exile & it needs to be appreciated (him apologising for things)  
> Also I am so sorry my upload schedule is kinda all over the place rn, I literally originally updated by the next day or two but I am back in classes so I gotta pay attention to that as well :00 kinda got this thing called graduation that takes away from v important fanfic writing time, very cringe I know  
> alSo the writing on this chapter is so shotty I am so sorrY, it ain’t good & I honestly hate this chapter but I didn’t want to just up and rewrite an entire 5k word document. It also had some important plot parts so I was just, alrighty then guess we’re suffering through this


	10. X

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eret: *explains what happened during their kingship*  
> Phil:  
> Techno:  
> Tommy:  
> Eret: haha yeah-  
> Phil, already sharpening his sword to stab Dream: what the fuck was that again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let us all bless evy & lin for their amazing ideas 🙏🙏🙏 they rlly just eliminated all my writers block w/ two comments  
> PROBABLY ONE OF THE LONGEST CHAPTERS OF STRAIGHT ANGST LETS GOOOOOO  
> okay actually that might be a lie but it’s probably in the top 3,,, or 5,,,,
> 
> also I was listening to the carrie musical soundtrack & evanscence whilst writing so uh if ur wondering abt the inspo, it’s from there fhnddjdjsk
> 
> HEAVY WARNING FOR THIS ONE, OH BOY  
> Talk of heavy past-emotional manipulation, gaslighting, descriptions of malnourishment, descriptions of injuries
> 
> Have fun reading ;)

The minutes passed far too quickly.

One second they were in the forest, being questioned on why they never opened up about their past, next they’re standing in front of the doors to their home with anxiety slipping its cold hand into theirs as they stepped inside.

They stood off to the side, shaking their drenched shoes off as Techno left them to go check up on everyone else. It didn’t take much to notice Tommy’s sleeping figure across the couch, covered in a mountain of blankets. A small smile lifted itself onto their face at the sight.

The sounds of plates clanging and glasses clinking could be heard from the kitchen. After shoving their cloak and the gauntlets of their armour off, they made their way towards the open room with light footsteps, peeking their head through the doorway to see Phil talking casually with Techno across the island.

Neither of them seemed to react when they slipped their way into the room, armour jangling as they moved. As they took a seat at one of the surrounding chairs, their conversation seemed to stop, with Phil immediately pausing to send a smile their way.

“How is he?” Eret asked the overlooming question, voice rough and hoarse.

Phil quietly slid a glass of water their direction before responding, which they accepted gratefully. “He’s fine, just a little shocked. I heard his account but, what happened?”

They glanced Techno’s way to check if he wanted to answer that one, but he simply shook his head no.

“He had a flashback that then triggered a panic attack…from seeing my control room.”

The fallen angel just hummed in response, tapping idly against the countertop. It felt like they were getting in trouble with a disappointed parent, even if he didn’t seem to be upset with either of them.

“I want us all to get along here. I don’t care if you two argue when I’m not there but I want you to at least act like you don’t hate each other. So-“

“Phil no-“ Techno already went to interrupt, going to shoot down whatever he was going to say next with a firm frown.

“What?” Eret asked, looking between the two of them in utter confusion. Phil was currently having a stare off with his son, a shit-eating grin upon his face facing off against Techno’s pleading look.

Techno blinked with a few curses muttered under his breath whilst Phil celebrated as he slammed a hand down loudly against the countertop, startling them slightly.

“Game night!” He shouted with a wide grin, wings almost bursting from their resting place on his back with excitement.

“Phil please no, I have better things to do than hang out with these nerds-“ Techno pleaded as he shot a thumb towards the other in question.

“Again, what?” Eret questioned again, shooting a glare at Techno as they grabbed and moved his hand away from their face.

“Game night, we have board games and we play them like a fam-, ahem, good household.”

They all knew what he was going to say but no one wanted to address it.

“And for fucks sake, Tech, stop sulking. It’s going to be fun.” He continued with a huff, shaking his son’s shoulder as he turned back around to finish cleaning up the dishes.

Techno quietly groaned into his hands, tapping against his temples as he suddenly went to move towards the hallway, calling that he was taking the shower first. Which was fine by them, they didn’t care either way, _still upholding their stance of neutrality on anything, even in the smallest of cases._

“You should change out of that, we don’t need you getting hypothermia again.” Phil added with his back to them, not even looking over as he spoke.

They glanced down at the waterdrops bleeding off the sides of their chestplate still, having forgotten about the freezing water that still clung to their clothes.

Just as they were about to leave for their claimed room, Phil stopped them quickly, wings spreading out to tap them gently against the shoulder to get their attention.

“What we were talking about earlier, I didn’t mean to change the subject away from what you were trying to say.”

They gave him a weird look, silently adjusting their sunglasses as he continued.

“Tommy told me what happened. I know he had a panic attack and I know you helped him through it. So, thank you.”

“But I-“ They went to interrupt but it fell onto deafened ears.

“Don’t you dare try to blame yourself for that. It was a coincidence, you weren’t bringing him there, and Techno had no idea it was a trigger.”

Eret kept silent, mouth twitching downwards to a conflicted frown, a hand moving towards the edge of the ladder in case of needing a quick escape.

“I should have known. I know those sewers well and I know the path to the control room like the back of my hand.”

His stern gaze faltered at the confession, a more pitiful one taking its place. “That doesn’t matter, it was out of your control. What matters is your actions and you showed Tommy that you’re willing to help him.”

“I doubt he sees it that way.”

“He will one day, give him more time. I think he’s finally starting to see all the good in you.” 

Eret forced a smile at his words, nodding as they quickly went to leave before he could pull them into a full conversation. Avoiding the way his mood seemed to drop the moment they tried to leave to their room.

“You can probably get a nap in before the games start!” He called as they left, then a quiet, “fuck I forgot about dinner” as they lifted the trapdoor and heaved their way up to the second floor.

They had to wonder if they got moved into their attic and that’s what their room really was. Would be strange for an attic to have a bed but they wouldn’t put it past them to have something weird like that.

Just as they thought they had made their escape and could relax, they came face to face with a ghostly apparition sitting happily on their bed. Well, floating on it.

“...Hello…?”

That seemed to snap the spirit out of whatever trance he was in as he quickly snapped his head towards them.

“Oh! I was waiting for you to come back.”

They didn’t even question it.

Eret felt all the tension built up on their shoulders fall apart as they went to sit by him on the bed, quietly going about taking their armour off and setting it aside.

“Your communicator keeps going off.”

They frowned, watching as the ghost’s transparent hands waved the grey device around in front of them.

“I thought I turned that off?”

“I might’ve….accidentally turned it on when I was rearranging your stuff.”

Rearranging their stuff? Now that they thought about it, it did look less messy in here.

Wordlessly, they took the small object out of his hands and flicked the screen on to see an onslaught of different messages.

Did they want to deal with this right now? No, but they knew Ghostbur would just look through their messages if they didn’t try to explain anything. He had a clear tendency to look through their things without telling them.

They could swear they could feel their heart tighten as they simply scanned over who was messaging them so much.

> Tubbo_: eret?? where are u  
>  niki said dream kicked you out  
>  eret???  
>  eret please just say something  
>  niki keeps saying dream had you killed but nothing showed up on the communicator  
>  i dont know if ur in hiding or something but pls answer  
>  eret???????  
>  erett itszz been days pls  
>  i miss u

> ItsFundy: eret? tubbo is freaking out over here you gotta come back  
>  please man, i don’t care what dream said, you can stay with us, just come back

> Nihachu: Eret  
>  Eret  
>  Eret answer me now  
>  ERET PICK UP THE PHONE  
>  ERET  
>  No no no no dream keeps trying to tell me you’re dead  
>  That’s not true I would’ve seen the message  
>  Just tell me you’re okay please  
>  Please  
>  You took the mail and clothes at your castle I saw  
>  Where are you? I don’t want to stay here anymore  
>  This entire country is shit I don’t want to be here  
>  Where did you go?  
>  Eret please I just need to know where you are and if you’re okay  
>  Please answer me  
>  Puffy and H don’t know anything about you leaving what's going on

> Dream: I hope you’re confident in your decision.  
>  I’ll see you soon.  
>  :) 

They didn’t know what to say.

What to think.

It felt like the ground, world, was disappearing in front of them as their vision swirled. Empty burning filling their lungs as they hastily threw the device across the room with a flick of their trembling hands.

Ghostbur was saying something, trying to calm them down, but they couldn’t hear anything over the blood pooling to their ears. What were they supposed to say? 

Their heart twisted into a knot with anxiety, utter fear taking its cold grip on them for what their actions did to their friends, _their family_.

Did they make a mistake? Were they just dooming those who cared about them because they ran away?

Trepidation swelled throughout their bones, keeping them trapped in their spiralling thoughts as they felt the ever impending need to scream. Vent out their frustrations. Run away from their problems yet again.

Then suddenly someone was pressing something into their hands. Blurrily they looked down at a white substance softly sitting in their hands. One blink and it turned a light blue colour, deeping in colour as the seconds passed, taking their anxiety with it.

For a split second, their vision and thoughts became so unfocused that they thought they were in the room again, the cold metal of the detonator in their confident hands, pressing down with a bang to their bring about the end times.

But when they pressed down all they could feel was a substance similar to a slime consistency.

Eret looked up to meet the soulless eyes of Ghostbur staring back at them in concern and worry.

“I’m sorry…I didn’t know you’d get upset by that.”

“It’s not your fault, you couldn’t have known.” They softly responded, quietly wiping away at the tears that had threatened to fall during their panic.

They tried to not think about the irony of their statement after they had denied Phil’s advice only minutes ago.

“You should respond to them. Oh! Actually, if you don’t want to I could go tell them-“

“No.” Eret quickly interrupted, voice stern. “No, no, it’s fine. I’ll message them back soon.”

They lapsed into a silence, a trend between the two of them, with Ghostbur silently fiddling with his yellow sweater and Eret focusing on their breathing.

“Should I leave you alone…?” The ghost asked hesitantly.

They looked back down at their freezing clothes, nodding slowly. “I’m not upset, I just need to change and probably rest.” They clarified, smiling sadly at their ~~former~~ friend.

That seemed to help immensely with the other’s mood, he nodded more confidently and said he was going to go check up on Tommy before he floated through the floorboards. Leaving them in solitude to manage with their thoughts.

They went through the motions of finishing off taking their armour off and finding a shirt or sweater to change into, finding another pair of jeans along the way.

Did Ghostbur honestly fold their clothes while they were gone? How much of a separate entity were Wilbur and him? Last time they checked, Wilbur barely took proper care of himself, let alone was into cleaning.

They still appreciated the gesture though.

They quickly changed into the dry clothes and had to hold themself back from throwing the dirty clothes over the communicator that was halfway across the ground. Out of sight, out of mind.

Eret flopped onto the bed with a heavy sigh, seriously ready to sleep away the next two days to recover from how hectic their life has become. They could feel the eye bags under their eyes sting from their overall lack of sleep or proper care. Scrubbing at their tired face, they groaned at the idea of having to come back downstairs to talk to everyone only an hour or two from then.

It was becoming a pain, and that change wasn’t going to be fully accepted anytime soon. They knew they meant well but it was so overbearing and overwhelming at the same time after a long eventful day.

Rolling onto their side, they pulled the covers over themself as they slipped their sunglasses off of their face. Begging their restless sleep schedule and insomniac mind to let them rest for at least a few moments. An easy escape from their still ever racing thoughts.

It was hard to relax when all they could think about was how they let their family down. What they were going to say to them. Really, what was there to say other than the complete truth? That Dream had given them an ultimatum, kingship or death?

They fought against the mental restraints of their thoughts, hiding their eyes into the crook of their arm. All they could do was hope the sweet release of sleep would overtake them.

.  
.  
.

The next time they opened their eyes, they were met with complete darkness in the room and someone standing by them, shaking their shoulder to awaken them.

Squinting against the inky blackness, they didn’t need to see anything more than the faint glance of pink hair swinging near their face to know who it was.

Leaning over to greet him, they forced themself to lay on their side with a tired hand holding them up, mumbling out a sleepy “hello” with a heavy yawn.

“Shower’s open, Phil didn’t want you looking like a drowned fox for ‘game night’.” His voice was as monotone as ever, only changing tone to exaggerate the game night part in exasperation.

“I don’t think any of us are excited for that.” Eret laughed as they pulled themself up to a sitting position.

Techno just grunted, shrugging as he went to leave, pausing at the trap door to look back at them as they got to their feet, vision swirling in protest as they took a step forward. Too much blood flow to the head.

“You know you like, totally took over my room, right?”

“What.”

“This was my room.” He clarified, eyes glistening with smugness at their instant sputtering that he could have it back and that they didn’t even know.

“It’s fine, I’ve been wanting to change rooms for a while now. You can hear everything up here, it’s annoying.” He continued over their thumbling of apologies.

They watched as he lifted the heavy door out of its resting place and jumped down onto one of the bars of the ladder below, snorting at their attempts to apologise before completely walking away.

They felt like a still statue when he left, nervously picking at the edges of their sweater at his words. It obviously didn’t matter to him, he would’ve actually said something if it did, but it did feel uncomfortable now for them to stay in the room any longer.

Soon enough, they broke out their trance and followed after his footsteps to the downstairs, only stopping to pick up their sunglasses, looking around the rooms as they stepped down the ladder.

Phil was sitting in the living room now, shoulder length hair pulled back into a ponytail as he read something aloud to Tommy, who had woken up and was sitting across from his father.

They seemed to pay them no mind as they slipped away down the hallway to the bathroom, keeping their footsteps light to avoid a conversation from happening.

Just as they neared the door, they paused in their steps at a different sound. It wasn’t Phil’s voice from the living room, nor Tommy’s or Techno’s. It was a gurgling noise.

Were there mobs in the house?

Taking a step back, they noticed a door a little back from the bathroom, having passed it without even noticing it. As the neared the door, the noises got louder, now being more recognisable as the sounds of an Enderman.

Eret slowly and lightly turned the knob to peek their head inside, quickly coming to the understanding that it was a master bedroom, most likely Phil’s. One glance to the side and they saw the figure of an Enderman just simply sitting inside a small wooden boat.

Clearing their throat, they stepped inside the room, alerting the mob of their presence as they quietly lifted their glasses to rest against their forehead.

Any protests the Enderman was going to give ceased the moment their glowing eyes met.

They had to admit, it had been a _very_ long time since they had to speak the ancient language of theirs, but they attempted to at least greet the fellow.

“H̵͈̲͙͇̀ȩ̶͇̦̰̺͚͆̊͝l̶̨̢̟̹̮̖̮̈́͒̽͗̆͂̒l̵̜̆́̎̄͝ơ̷̡̖̞͍͇̈́͆̕?̶̛̭̼̩̹̙͔̖̽̇̄̉͋͆͘”

They looked at them strangely, giving a whooping noise in response.

Eret paused, unsure what to say next.

“Ẃ̴͇̰̅̈h̸̡̨̹̭̻̿͂͆̕ã̶͙̥̱̯̝̼̜͋̔͌͐̀̄t̵̨͇̦͉̄̊͌ ̵̧̦̱̹͚̙̎̔͂̕͜a̸̟̻̾̇̌͜͜r̴̩̻̯͐̿̑̔͆͜ě̴̪̝͍̆̋͒͋̽ ̶̯̖̦̻̺̲̺̅̔͋̅́̒͝y̶͕̰̬̿͛̓͒̿͋̿o̵̭͉̝̰͔̮̣͑̓̑̾̃͆ù̴̧͉̫͓̲̬̈̄̑̐̉ṛ̶̢̛̻̲̟͕̠̉̆̌̈́̅ ̶̝̈͑́̚p̵̞̤͊̇̋̎̀̈r̵͖͍͈͔̦̀̏̈́͠o̴͓̖̹͘n̴̥̱̻̆͆̈́̂̃ͅǫ̶̬̫̜́͊ų̵̬̘̥͌̾̑̈́͝n̸̢̜͚͉̺̉͆̎͆ş̵̦̳̮͕̤̌̅̆͐͝͠?̶͎̟̺͔̞̞̹̽̕”

They looked at them like that was the stupidest question they had ever gotten on the entire server.

Oh right, Endermen didn’t necessarily have a gender did they?

“.̶̢̖͛̄.̷̯̯̳̓́.̷̻̝̱͋͋̔̓̎D̵̲̤͚̂̀̚ͅǫ̵̦͎̓͑͑͝͝ ̵͖̰̜̗̠͗̀̅͋͝y̸̙͈̪͍͂̆o̷͔̻̮̾ǘ̷̡̻ ̴̛̥̮̓͝͝h̶͇̰͕͌̄͐̄̓a̷̮͎̟̯̋͗̈̎v̴̜̤̭͎̼̏̇e̴̳̗͓͂ ̴͓̳̻̯̬̆̃ä̷̤͍́̏͂̓ ̵̮̠̪̺̎̍n̴̗̈̿͛͊à̵̭̈́͐m̶̤̟͓̜̄͐͗̚ę̷̭͖̾͒̀͘?̷̧̺̟̥̾̃̎” They attempted to ask, though they somewhat doubted their fluency.

“È̴̹̊͆̆͒̏̉̾̋͐̚͠ḑ̷̨͕̠̩͈͓͔̮̀̈́͑̔̃̀͂̕͜͝ẅ̵̩͉̺̯́̓́͗͘͝a̴̢̨͎̲͙̺̺̳̜̦̩͙͓̰̅̓̈́͠ṟ̵̡̢̪̩̥̤̩̩̮̜̑̂̈́̈́d̶͍̪̳́̍̄̑͝,̷̜͈͙̞̝̳̔͗͆̅͂̉͊͌̈̓̐͒͐̚̚͜ ̵̨̝̗͇̘̮̬͍̮̹͊̽͋͘t̴͔̪̎̄̄̿͑̕h̸̛̳̗̼̮̺͉̝͔̙̦̿͛̄̾̀̂̆̒͗̀̚͜ͅe̶̢̡͕̗͕̪̤̥̲̯̲̒́̉̿̓̾̚͜͠ ̶̢̰̮̫̗̓̇̒̈́̾̆̇͂͗̑͊͐͂͠p̴̖͍̯̫͚̯͉̲̜̒̆͂̑ͅi̴͕̯̲̙͓͈͆̽̽͑̓͑͐͋͗̕ģ̷̧̢͙͙̜̘̦̏̀̆̊̋̓l̸̢̪̤̝̳̲̝̤̂͋̈́͆̈́̍̾̇̈́̈́͌͘͘͠ͅî̷͚̬͎̺̽̊͘n̶͔̺̉̄̌͌͊̀͛̊̾̈́̿̓̇̈́́͠ ̷̬͓̌̍̀̒̏̊̽̅̆̏̚͝͝g̵̨̘̘͚̲̮̦̗̞͇̲̳͂̎̇͜a̶̧̨̡̬̰͚͗v̵̛̛͕̬̦̲͙͎͚͎͕̊̆͛͑̑̅͠ͅé̵͍͍̜̤̘̑̂͑̀̎̎̊͠ ̶̛͍̪̟͉͈̓͒̽̇̉́̈́͐̅̕͝m̸͖̩̥̖̰͎̜̩̉̀͊é̶̤̌͂̌̈́̂͆̈́̀̕͘̚ ̴̨̖̳̦̣̝̖̺̫͎̭͉̀͊̓̃͜͜ͅͅö̸̼̻͕̦̲̖̞͕̫͔̱́͌͒͒́̓̀̈̈́̽̅̏͌̅̉͜͝ņ̵̨̛͕̜̫̪̳͍̭͇̼̲̟̈́̉̌̏̋́̆̒͒̌͊̕e̶͍̐͂̍̈́̀͌̀̌̊͗͗͛͆͋̚.̸̡̛͇̘̼̠̎͋̄͗͒̇͊̍̾͌̌́͂̒͘ͅ.” The Enderman responded.

“O̷̱̓̈́ḥ̷̙̬́͘,̸̣̜̈́͝ ̴̩͐́t̴̗̓͋h̸̥͋̎ͅȧ̴̯͌ṫ̶͕̖̪’̴̖͍͈̍s̸͉̫̈̓̄ ̵̩̙̓ä̵̲́͂ ̴̝͚̜̏̃͒ń̷͖ȉ̷̧͙c̴͎̭̳̾͊e̸̢̞͆̓͗ ̶̪̯̙̉͒͝n̷̹̄̅a̸̠̔̀͂ḿ̶̳͇͎̓͠e̴͇̦̫͊.̶͖̞̂̇ ̸̹̜̑̅͝M̵̤̍̈į̶͋͐n̸̪̭̩͆ḙ̵̏ ̷̧̀̃i̵̯̻̺̽̆s̴̛̼͍̘ ̷̛̥̝͙͂E̴̟̹̬̿̿r̵͍̝̙͌̑ê̵ͅṭ̶͔͛̓̏.̴̖̠̘͆́.” They replied. Without much more to say, they bid them goodbye as they left the room.

They slipped their shades back on as the light entered their line of sight, truly hoping that they had at least made some sense to the Enderman as they continued their way to the showers.

Stepping inside, they were met with a chaotic mess of bottles and jars covering the sink, completely dumbfounded on whose it could be, seeing as Techno didn’t seem to care about anything other than his hair in terms of self-care and Tommy didn’t even look like he had ever showered in his life.

Ignoring the mess and dimming the lights for the sake of their eyes, they stepped past the sink to reach over and start the water for a shower.

When they looked back at their reflection, they just sighed as they wiped away at the greasy hair sticking to their forehead. Their cheekbones stood out far too much than they normally should, a thin hand raising to press against the cold skin. It took barely a touch to feel the rough exterior of their bone against their fingertips.

They seriously needed to take better care of themself.

They smudged at their blackened fingertips, slipping their glasses off yet again to rub at their eyes as they set the pair down on the countertop.

Undressing wasn’t as horrible as it was last time, in fact they were more relieved to be able to clean the day’s sweat, grim, and worries away.

Their eyes trailed towards their practically healed scar uncontrollably, left over from the arrow that had been stuck between their ribs for hours on end as they ran for their life.

Hurrying through the motions as they stepped inside the shower, they washed away at the dirt and filth that stuck to their hair and skin. Never able to wash away the blackened-grey pigment that littered their shoulders, arms, legs, and under eyes. It was like a never-ending rash or a spread of freckles across their skin.

Just another cursed side effect of being part wither.

When they finished, they were quick about avoiding the mirrors’ ever glaring gaze as they dried off. Toweling away at their dripping hair as they layered on loose shirts and a sweater to cover the bones that threatened to jut out.

They ran a hand through their coarse hair, attempting to tame the wild long curls as they flipped away from their forehead in a fluffy mess.

They really needed to ask someone to trim their hair, it was starting to become unmanageable.

Techno could definitely do it but they knew it would make Phil extremely happy if they went to him first so they settled on him.

They wouldn’t let Tommy within ten feet of them with a pair of scissors. He’d undoubtedly try to stab them ‘accidentally’.

Eret let a loose sigh out, mentally preparing themself to have to leave the room. They might not even be ready yet for all they knew. They might be able to scrape by without getting dragged into their festivities.

At least they hoped so.

With a slight boost of confidence, they slipped out of the room with a fraction of the door opening. With gentle strides, they walked towards the living room, mainly with the intent of making a break for their(?) room if no one else was there.

Unsurprisingly, Phil was still there, although in the middle of getting up, currently stretching with a yawn. They almost panicked when they locked eyes, with him happily waving to them and them slowly waving back awkwardly.

“You can sit here if you want, mate, I was just getting up to check on the dinner.”

Without a better excuse to say no, they nodded and gingerly took his seat as he passed them. Thankfully, Tommy had left at some point whilst they were showering, so it was just them in an empty room as Phil hummed pleasantly from the kitchen.

By the time he came back, they had made themself comfortable, curled up in the corner of the seat with their legs pulled up to the side.

“How’d you sleep?” Phil asked gently as he took a seat nearby, holding a cup of, what they assumed to be, some sort of tea.

“Fine.” Eret answered, lying through their teeth with a convincing light-hearted tone.

“You know…if you really don’t want to have a whole get together tonight that’s alright, you can tell me.” He more seriously said, eyebrows downcasted in concern.

“It’s fine, really.” They waved his worries away with a hand, not sure why they couldn’t just bring themself to tell him they’d rather not try to talk to Tommy after the mess earlier. “I was thinking of having a ballroom dance at my castle at one point, I think I handle one social event.”

“You wanted to have a party? Like a soiree or something?” He asked, face crinkling in amusement.

“Yeah, something to bring our two countries together. Even during Schaltt’s administration I was considering it. I think it would’ve been a nice idea to calm both sides down.”

He hummed, nodding as he took a sip of his tea. “You just know someone would’ve been killed during it.”

“Oh definitely. Wilbur would’ve planned an assassination attempt on Schlatt.”

He fell into a fit of laughter at the mention of his son, Eret grinned, glad to know that they could joke about _him_ without it being triggering for him.

“Oh god, he would have. He’d plant bombs under the building.”

“I would’ve had to explain to him that I’m not allowing everyone to lose a life at my party because he wanted to assassinate the president.”

Phil snorted, freely laughing along as they continued their reenactment of the possible event.

As the high of the moment died down, Phil called the other two in the household to come join them, having to get up eventually when Techno didn’t listen to go get him himself.

Tommy eventually came in, carrying a few boxes of what they assumed were board games. They didn’t talk to each other, but it was a big difference to how they'd act before. With Tommy going to yell anything at them whenever they’d walk by or Eret completely ignoring/avoiding him or muttering a snarky comment to piss him off.

“I’m not playing monopoly with you, you’d cheat the game.” Tommy finally spoke up whilst sorting through the games. He didn’t sound angry, which was a huge relief.

“How…?”

“Because you’re a king and shit, you’re already living the rich capitalist life.”

“That’s not how that-“

Before they could finish, Phil had come back in a sing-songy mood as he pulled an exhausted Technoblade with him.

“Nice glasses, nerd!” Tommy called from his seat whilst snickering, it was only then that they noticed the piglin did in fact have a pair of glasses on.

Phil had to keep Tommy from yelling when Techno just flipped him the bird back without any words.

“Don’t worry, with those you’ll fit right in with the librarians. Maybe you’ll get better deals on trades.” Eret teased, joining in as they ‘comfortingly’ patted him on the shoulder when he sat down.

“HA-“

“I hate you both, so much.” Techno sighed as he squatted away at their hand. “I’m never protecting either of you again.”

They grinned and moved away, giving the piglin his space as they looked back towards Tommy and then Phil. It seemed the only time the two of them could get along was when they had common interests.

Phil was busy sorting through what games they had before settling on a group of three boxes. “We have uno, monopoly, and sorry.”

“No monopoly.” Tommy immediately said, shooting a look towards Eret.

“Are you just afraid to lose again?” Techno asked with a smirk, clearly they were missing some background information on that one because Tommy almost immediately got defensive.

“Wh- No!”

“Mhm, okay.” Techno rolled his eyes as he leaned back into the cushioned seat.

“Then we’re playing uno.” Phil declared as he set the cards out, ignoring any cries of protest from his sons.

They got passed a set of cards to shuffle as Phil read over the instructions aloud for everyone’s clarity. They sorted through the card pile, ignoring the glaring look Tommy kept sending their way.

The game started and…it was something, that was for sure.

It was obvious Tommy was targeting them the entire game, they weren’t sure if it was to piss them off or his own agenda but it was annoying. Eret kept neutrality for the most part anyway, despite really wanting to target him back, Phil did as well. Techno targeted Tommy with every special card he got to the point that it started an argument half way through the game, with Techno feigning innocence in anything he had done.

It was nearing the end of the game, after Phil had up and won, leaving the three of them to decide on whether or not to continue for a second winner.

“Tommy, you can’t keep lying about your cards.” Techno spoke up as he grabbed another card from the draw pile.

“I’m not doing shit!”

“That’s something a liar would say.” Eret hummed as they took their turn.

“Yeah you’d know a lot about that, wouldn’t you?”

Tommy was really starting to test their patience. It wasn’t even the first time he’d made a comment like that, it was probably the fifth in the last thirty minutes. They knew he was looking to get any sort of rise out of them, seeing as they almost never responded to his attacks.

“Yeah, I would. Exactly why I’m saying it.” They snapped back, trying to ignore how his smirk widened at their reaction.

Techno looked like he wanted nothing more than to leave the room at the moment. They felt kind of bad for him, he’d been having to deal with their bickering for the past ten minutes as Phil finished dinner.

“Y’know, why are you even here still? You said you were leaving once you stopped dying, you look fine to me.”

“Tommy, now is not the-“ Techno tried to intervene but Eret cut him off.

“I’ve talked to Phil about leaving multiple times and he’s pretty adamant about keeping me here until I can return safely so, here I am.”

“Sounds like a bunch of bullshit, you never told us why you ended up here, you’re probably just a fucking spy for Dream.”

“Tommy.” Techno interrupted again, voice seeping with disappointment and eyes that looked like they were out for blood if he continued to argue.

“IS IT NOT A LITTLE BIT SUSPICIOUS THAT HE UP AND SHOWED UP HERE. OUT OF NOWHERE. WHEN HE LITERALLY WORKS FOR DREAM?!”

“What’s going on out there?” Phil called from the room next door, coming out from the doorway with a rag in his hands, washing away the water and grease that stuck to them.

“Tommy keeps trying to start an argument with Eret.” Techno was the one to speak up first, sending him a pleading look to get him out of there before another one started.

“Tommy-“

“Oh of course you’re taking his side! Everyone seems to just forget what he did to me! I’m allowed to not want him in my house!”

“They’re staying here.” Phil continued, not even phased by what he said. “You can be mad at him, you can hold a grudge for however long you want to, but she’s staying with us for right now and you need to accept that. It’s not just your house, it’s all of ours.”

Tommy’s face very clearly dropped in confusion at the different set of pronouns but he didn’t ask on it, just adapted it to his next argument. “They just sit around here! They aren’t even helping us! Sorry that I’m a little suspicious of a guy who killed me! Betrayed me!”

“You don’t seem suspicious of Techno.” Eret finally spoke up coldly.

“What- what does that-“

“He betrayed you, didn’t he? He tried to kill you, he executed your best friend, my brother, but you seem fine with him. Why is it any different for me? After I’ve actively tried to help you after Wilbur and you were excommunicated.”

“Heh??? Don’t throw me under the bus.” Techno huffed, but they sent him a reassuring glance.

“I’m not, I’m just pointing out that he isn’t holding you to the same standards. It’s not fair to just pretend you did nothing wrong but hate me in the same breath.”

“Techno and I have common interests, you just want to stay here for no reason.” Tommy cut in.

“Common interests for what? Getting revenge? That isn’t going to help anything. What are you going to do after that? You’re just pushing your issues with him onto me.”

“Stop trying to fucking psychoanalyse me.”

“I’m telling you the truth and you don’t want to hear it.”

“Why don’t you tell us why you’re here then, big man?! Go on!”

“Boys!” Phil finally interrupted, arms crossed as he stared down at them. “You’re going too far, go get some fresh air, I’m serving dinner soon.”

“No,” Eret dismissed him, much to his surprise. “No, I’ll tell you. You want to know how I got this?” They yanked up the corner of their heavy sweater up to their ribcage, showing off the layer of raised, bruised, skin hiding underneath it.

“Eret-“

“Stop telling me what to do for five seconds!” They snapped at Phil, almost immediately regretting it as the other’s face crumbled. “I’m sorry just…” They couldn’t let their anger control them, not when they’re talking about this, something that has haunted them since the day it happened. “I need to say this, you deserve to know.”

“Dream and I have been on decent terms with each other since the day I joined the SMP. He didn’t care what I did and I never bothered him, he only started to when he realised I was useful to him.” They took a shaky deep breath, ignoring the concerned look that raised onto Phil’s face. 

“When I joined L’manberg, I had full intentions of fighting for their independence, fighting for Wilbur. When Dream offered me a role of power in exchange for the betrayal, I shouldn’t have humoured him, but I did. We talked for almost three hours over what was going to happen before I agreed, I could’ve left, but I didn’t. It was my fault and I made that mistake. I made the mistake of pressing that button and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for that.”

“What does this have to do with the funky scar.” Tommy interrupted.

“I’m getting there, I’ve just been wanting to admit that to you for a while now.” Their words lightened, heavy with regret, before dipping back down into the pull of vexation. “I thought we were friends, Dream and I, he helped me whenever I needed him and I thought he was being genuine.”

_The wooden floor creaked under pressure as a familiar masked man stared down at them. They had huddled themself into the far corner of their bed, tears still streaming down their face in rushes._

_“Eret?” He tried to ask, moving the mask out of the way of his face as he sat down next to the king. “What’s wrong?”_

_“They want nothing to do with me.” They choked out, voice breaking as they held themself tighter._

_Dream frowned, an unmistakable one at that. “You don’t need them.”_

_“I-“ They sniffed, taking a few breaths in before trying to speak again. “I tried to apologise, y’know? I tried so many times. They don’t want to talk to me, they don’t even want to see me!”_

_“They don’t deserve you.”_

_They stayed quiet, the only sounds being from the tears falling onto the sheets. They had tried to go and see their former found family. Wilbur, Fundy, Tommy, and Tubbo._

_None of them wanted to see them._

_Wilbur had instantly written them off, coldly saying he had better things to do. They weren’t shocked, but after three more times of it happening, it began to hurt more and more each time they were passed off like they didn’t matter._

_Fundy hadn’t been any better, even more tenseful with their current prank war going on, anytime they did try to it was just awkward and bluntfully so from Fundy’s side._

_Tommy was an instant no. There was no possibility for any conversation with the kid._

_Tubbo…_

_…_

_They didn’t want to think about him._

_How disappointed he must be feeling everytime he sees them._

_“What are you thinking about?” Dream then asked._

_“How horrible Tubbo must feel.” They answered honestly, voice strained._

_“...He doesn’t matter. He won’t see you, he won’t even hear you out, you don’t need to worry about him.”_

_“He was like a little brother to me, Dream.”_

_“He isn’t acting like a family.” He had convinced them._

_And for a while, they believed him._

“I really thought he wanted the best for me. He worked with me after my coronation, he helped me with figuring out my duties, who to trust and who to not.”

Techno gave him a strange, almost saddened, look at that but didn’t comment on it.

“He never got angry with me unless I honestly messed up.”

_This month’s caseload was overwhelming._

_With the newly founded Badlands becoming an issue and their constant meddling between Manberg and Pogtopia, it was getting stressful to manage the entire SMP on top of that._

_Some mistakes were bound to happen._

_Dream had visited them earlier than usual, they didn’t think anything of it because he did have a tendency to show up at random times._

_It was all light-hearted, until it wasn’t._

_“So what exactly is your plan with the Badlands?” He had asked whilst sorting through their overbearing stacks of paperwork._

_“I’m not sure. They’re claiming to be neutral but they’re clearly favouring to edge on the tension between the two other parties. Bad did say he wanted to start a trade deal with us though.”_

_“What did you say?” He asked nonchalantly._

_“I agreed. I thought it might be better to get off on a good start with them rather than just start another war.”_

_Dream stayed quiet, they didn’t think anything of it at the time, just continuing their writing._

_“You didn’t think to tell me?” He glowered, a scowl resting neatly on his scarred face._

_They turned in their seat, confusion written across their face at the sudden change in mood. “You’re a busy man, Dream, I didn’t think you’d want me to bother you with something like that.”_

_“It’s an international trade deal, Eret! That’s obviously something I’d like to be made aware about!” He snapped, voice seeping with anger._

_“I’m sorry…I didn’t realise-“_

_“You think?!”_

_They paused, completely dumbfounded at his mood. “Why…why are you so angry? It’s not that big of a deal, I can always cancel with Bad.”_

_“Not that big of a deal?! You never listen to me!”_

_“Excuse me?” They got defensive, a bad move on their part. “I’ve always listened to you, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I don't know what else you want me to say.”_

_“Stop lying!” He flared, his patience beginning to crack as they immediately backed down. “What else have you done without telling me?”_

_“Nothing!”_

_“God, I can’t believe you.” He threw the stack of papers he was holding back onto the desk with a smack, loose papers flying through the air and floating down across the floor haphazardly. “Have fun with all this.” He gestured towards the now mess on the ground._

_“Dream-“_

_“No, Eret. Think about this, you just broke a level of trust I thought we had.”_

_He left, leaving them utterly baffled and alarmed._

_He later denied all evidence of this argument ever happening._

Eret paused, looking towards Techno for answers as he mouthed something towards him, which he shook his head no to.

“What?” Tommy questioned, clearly a little annoyed he was being left out.

“I didn’t know if he told you all, but, as you know, I was dethroned before the Manberg War. George was anointed the new king before I joined you two at the tower.”

“Yeah, the war he fucking slept through.”

They broke into a smile at that, shaking their head as they continued. “I was told to attend his coronation, as like, a passing of power I suppose. So, I contacted Techno.”

“You did what?” Tommy blinked, confused for a second before a realisation seemed to hit him.

“Techno.” Phil spoke up, looking towards his son in a disappointed gaze, shaking his head as if he already knew what they were about to say happened.

“Heh?? Did you miss the part where they said ‘they’ contacted me?!” Techno got protective, looking towards the former king for them to back him up.

“I asked him to do me a favour.”

_The day of the official coronation came faster than expected._

_And so did it’s festivities._

_The grey communicator found its way out of their pocket as they hid away from the group for mere seconds, tapping away at a message._

> _The_Eret to Technoblade: George left the safe zone  
>  The_Eret to Technoblade: At castle if you’re still on board_

_They followed the group towards the castle, trailing behind without any complaints from the others._

_They knew they weren’t wanted there, but it was out of the sake of good public image that they were._

_After the minutes passed of them listening to Dream and Punz discuss battle techniques and no piglin, they assumed he had changed his mind. They weren’t about to do it themself in a room full of some of the strongest people in the land._

_So they let out a sigh in disappointment and agitation, thinking they were going to just be stuck here for the next few hours without any commotion._

_If they left, would anyone notice?_

_Probably not._

_But then their ears pricked up at the noise of armour jangling and someone walking up the stone steps of their castle._

_Within seconds, a blurry figure passed them, heading directly towards the person seated in their golden throne._

_They could recognise that pink hair from anywhere._

_A blood curdling scream broke out from the crowned king, screams bursting from the audience as Eret cheered the executioner on with a wide grin._

_Before anyone could react, he had ran out the other entrance, leaving the dying king to bleed out against the throne._

**_GeorgeNotFound was slain by Technoblade_ **

_The message shined across their communicator but they didn’t need to see the notification, the evidence was right in front of their own eyes._

_The look of pure hatred Dream sent them only seconds after still haunted them to this day_

Even after leaving details out, the tales they had told seemed to immensely upset the others. They felt the urge to apologise but they knew well enough that’d make it sound worse. It really wasn’t that bad, they weren’t sure why they looked so heartbroken as they told them about the other arguments they had gotten into with Dream previously.

“So you were manipulated.” Tommy was the first to say it, very bluntly and without as much pity as the other two would give him. He had said it like it was an obvious fact, like something he had experienced himself.

“...What?” Eret questioned back, face contorted in confusion.

“You don’t even…okay wow. You were being gaslighted.”

“Tommy, I think he knows what we’re talking about.” Phil intervened, face soured in seemingly guilt and sorrow. But when he looked back towards them, he paused, mentally going back on his words. “Oh son…”

“…That wasn’t manipulation. He got angry for no reason but that‘s not manipulation.” They defended, not even completely sure why they were defending someone like Dream.

“Uh, yeah, it was. He did the same shit to me.” Tommy cut in, looking completely lost on how they couldn’t have realised that sooner.

Phil cracked further at the mention of Tommy’s past with Dream, eyes rimmed red with unshed tears as he took a seat next to them, arms open for them to hold onto him.

They weren’t completely sure why they needed a hug but they took it anyway, ears buzzing in bemusement as Phil rubbed their back sympathetically.

“Eret, that was definitely manipulation. He was using you.” Techno hesitantly added, unsure how to go about pointing out the elephant in the room.

“I…haven’t even gotten to why I’m here.”

Phil let out a teary laugh, muffled from his place against their shoulder. It was starting to seem like the embrace was more for him than them. “You don’t need to, I think we can guess what happened.”

The light shining behind their shades dimmed as they got lost in thought. Manipulation? They knew themself well, well enough to know they weren’t that stupid. If it really was manipulation then they would’ve caught on eventually. There’s no way-

“Eret?” Phil prompted, leaning back to get a good at them.

They looked completely lost.

“Shh,” He cooed, running a hand through their hair as he pulled them into another embrace. “You didn’t know and it’s alright, it’s hard to see the red flags, especially in the middle of it.”

“It’s not-“

“It was, he was using you.”

They tried to shake themself out of his hold but he held on tighter. They blinked away at the tears that tried to fall as they kept fighting against his hold.

“Phil, please.” They choked out, much more seriously than out of hysteria. He immediately let go at the sound of tone, watching as the cushion below them began to deteriorate at their touch as they pushed them up and away from their seat.

They began to pace, tears now falling freely as they whimpered against themself. “That’s not, that’s not true. You’re lying. He, he wouldn’t do something like that to me.”

“Dream’s a fucking master manipulator, I didn’t know either until Techno had to tell it to my face.” Tommy added on, trying to calm them down.

“He had a reason.” Eret tried to justify. “We got into an argument,”

_The minute, the mere seconds it happened, they knew they were done for._

_The feeling of an arrow splitting into their chest was something they knew they’d never forget. The arrow had been launched and hit its mark cleanly into their torso as they collapsed at the shot._

_The entry wound shot an unforgiving burning pain throughout their entire body, blood soaked their clothes in uncontrollable floods._

_The masked man, no, hunter, stood over them. Even with the mask covering his face, they knew he was smiling at their pain._

_“I didn’t need to do that but you’ve forced my hand.”_

_They tried to scramble back but they couldn’t bring themself to move, gasping as their breaths stammered. It felt like hell itself, they’d rather die right here than live through the continuous pain they were feeling._

_“You get to feel what George felt. You deserve to feel what he felt. I mean really, an assassination attempt? Did you honestly think I’d be happy about that?”_

_“It didn’t matter, it was justified.” They choked out between coughing up mouthfuls of blood._

_His gaze tightened as he raised a leg to slam down at their chest. They screamed._

_He leaned down to hold a bloody hand against their face, whimpering to get out of his reach but they couldn’t stop him from gently caressing the side of his dirtied face. A false sense of comfort in their dying times._

_“You need to come back. It clearly isn’t safe for him to continue to rule.”_

_“I’d rather die.”_

_He went to move to jab a leg into their wound again but stopped the moment they gasped and winced to prepare themself._

_“Oh Eret, you know I don’t want to hurt you.” He continued with fake sympathy at their suffering._

_They took the chance he had given them. He wasn’t hunched over them for those seconds._

_They moved._

_They rolled themself out of his reach and slippingly got to their feet with hazy and swimming vision. Their dwindling sense of adrenaline fuelled their rebellion as they backed away from the still hunter._

_They felt like a mouse to his snake._

_“Where do you plan on going?” He laughed, freely and uncaring as he knocked another arrow into place. Ready to fire at its mark._

_“If I’m going to die here, I’m not letting you have the satisfaction of seeing it!” They spat, their pride gleamed as they took off into a run into the trees, nearly getting hit as another arrow was shot into the bark next to them._

_“Let’s see how far you can get first!” He called as he chased after them, voice flowing with almost child-like amusement._

“That’s not your fault! He was trying to kill you!” Phil argued from the sidelines as they wrapped their shaking arms around themself in a self-fulfilling hug.

They had an inkling feeling they were right, they had guess something was wrong with their relationship but never did ‘being used’ cross their mind. Sure, they knew Dream treated them like a puppet on a string sometimes but to think their entire friendship was based on lies hurt to even consider.

They took a minute, thinking only how they hadn’t even explained the whole truth to them and yet they still thought Dream was horrible. How bad was it actually then?

Techno had gotten up from his seat, calmly walking towards them to gently prod them to come sit back down. “Come on.” He muttered as they followed after him without another fight.

“Why.” Was all they said as they got pulled into the piglin’s arms, resting against his chest with a cloudy look. “Why does he feel the need to do this to everyone?”

“It gives him power. He feels like he’s in control.” Phil answered their half-rhetorical question.

“His ego is fucking massive and he wants to play god. It’s sick.” Tommy added on.

“He believes he is god.” Techno finished, running a rough hand through their hair calmly.

“He might as well be, he has a goddamn church built for himself.” Eret replied with a broken laugh.

“God, I hate that stupid green blob.” Tommy huffed, resting his head against the back of the cushioned couch.

“I think we can finally agree on something.”

They didn’t miss the way Tommy actually smiled at that, before wiping it away completely with a grunt of stubbornness.

“What do I do now?” They asked, openly as they began to relax. “I mean, he had me convinced I was nothing without him. And to be honest?” Their voice cracking under the pressure. “He was right! I am nothing without that crown!”

“You’re still you, despite all that, despite all the bullshit he put you through, you’re still you.”

Phil’s words felt like a saving grace in their desolate state. An outreached hand symbolising change. Rays of sun hitting their face as the figurative radiant halo rained down upon them.

“Fuck, now I’m crying again.” They sniffled out after his words really set in, setting off the waterworks again.

Tommy snorted from the side at their comment but they barely paid attention to it. It was starting to become more and more exhausting to keep their eyes open as the tiredness of their emotions hit them. As relieving as they felt being able to finally say what they were feeling, it was tireding. It felt like they had traded stacks of guilt for overwhelming mental exhaustion.

Neither sounded that great but one had its clear pros versus cons.

“Oh shit, I forgot about dinner-“ Phil interrupted their half-awakeness as he ran out of the room with Tommy laughing behind him.

“Are you going to pass out?” Techno asked as he wiped away the tears that stained their face, staring down at them with an eyebrow raised.

They shrugged, loosening their hold on him as they laid contently across him. They were surprised by how little the other seemed to care about their closeness but they assumed it was because he was better at comforting people physically rather than with words.

“You’re completely killing my image here, total cringe.”

“I think your image got killed when you adopted an Enderman.” Eret hummed, not missing how confused the other looked for a second.

“You met Edward?”

“Talked to him actually.”

“...I didn’t know you knew their language.”

“Family reunions would be very awkward if I didn’t.”

“Oh right, Endermen relatives right?”

“Mhm.”

They lapsed into a period of pleasant silence as they turned onto their side and closed their eyes. They knew Phil was probably just going to wake them up again within the next few minutes to go eat but they needed to relax after everything that had just happened. The revelations they had gone through and had to accept within minutes.

As they began to doze off into a dreamless slumber, sleep hitting them like a falling axe, they heard some talking before they completely knocked out. A single phrase from the man who had started to become another father figure to them.

“I swear, I am going to _kill_ that green fucker if it’s the last thing I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *casually throws undertale reference in*  
> also  
> *SLAMS HAND ON DESK* I HAVE DONE IT  
> ONE OF THE BIG CHAPTERS OF THIS FIC HAS BEEN DONE AND I AM SO RELIEVED  
> There are sm more but this was one of the first ones to establish the full backstory of the fic so :))  
> Also I literally love when ppl comment tiny ideas or headcanons or literally just comments abt the chapter :,00 it jogs my brain to get writing hdkdbdkdjsk 
> 
> ahah totally not an important side note but some of my phrasing in this chapter can be taken as foreshadowing for future events ;)


	11. XI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That one handshake meme but it’s Tommy & Eret both getting manipulated by Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha this got rewritten 2 completely different times, it’s now somewhat acceptable  
> not like amazed with the writing or anything this time but, like chapter 9, it’s important for plot so I’m posting it anyway fbfnfhndmdm
> 
> WARNING  
> Emotional manipulation, that’s kinda it for once 👀

They could never get through the night without a nightmare plaguing their mind and shaking them awake in a mess of fear and anxiety.

It was almost constant, plunging them into re-enactments of their past.

It wasn’t any different from any other night, just constant reminders of what they’ve done. Whether that means their place in the Final Control Room, or it’s simply orders they had signed off on that led to their country’s demise.

It hurt everytime, but this night was especially bad.

It was about Dream, they could ever escape him even in their sleep.

A sickly ironic statement, really.

_”Eret, please, you know I don’t want to have to do this. I told you so many times to stay away from Pogtopia, Schlatt keeps questioning our alliance because of you.”_

_His crossbow was leveled at their forehead, the same one they had been carrying to give to Tommy as a peace offering._

_“You’re providing Wilbur with supplies, I don’t see how this is any different.” They replied indifferently, not even phased at the weapon aimed at their head. It wasn’t the first time he’d done this anyway._

_“That’s a deal between him and I. It has nothing to do with our countries. It’s like our deal, your kingship for helping me.” His voice was sickly sweet, like a parent trying to explain a simple concept to a child._

_They couldn’t help but flinch at the sore reminder, almost knocking the sharp arrow into their head at the movement but Dream adjusted it so they wouldn’t._

_He knew them too well._

_“If that’s the case, I’m assuming it does have to do with Manberg. He wouldn’t accept a deal from you any other way.”_

_They knew too much for their own good._

_The wood pressed harshly into their skull, they shouldn’t have said that._

_“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that, you know I can’t tell you anything.” He sickeningly hummed, carelessly fiddling with the trigger. “I can’t have you telling anyone about this.”_

_Normally, ~~in reality~~ the conversation would end here. They’d nod accordingly and he’d let the crossbow drop into the palms of their hands, smiling as he congratulated them on passing his test of faith._

_No, this time it continued._

_“You’re planning something with Wilbur, aren’t you?” They heard themself ask, uncharacteristically uncaring for their own safety in the moment._

_“Eret.” He warned with a heavy voice. “That’s enough.”_

_“I deserve to know! We-“ Their words fell onto deafened ears, the rest unheard as the story changed._

_This time, the trigger was pulled, the bullet hitting them dead on as they staggered, collapsing to the floor, from the blow._

_They could swear they actually felt the searing pain of the bullet shooting through them, giving them only seconds to rationalise what was real and what was fake as they fell into a bloody mess on the stone floors of their own castle._

_The last words they heard before they woke up were,_

_“Keep your thoughts to yourself, Eret. Not everyone will be as graceful as me.”_

Eret woke with a jagged gasp, breath hitching as their vision swam to catch up with their flickering gaze. The darkened room shined with the pale light of their eyes, but as they tried to look around they quickly noticed how constricted their vision was.

Attempting lean back just led them to realising they were being held up by something or someone for that matter. As their senses began to catch up to them, even in their elevated state, they noticed a few things.

They could hear the soft murmurs of someone asleep next to them.

Blinking a few times, they gently shuffled back to get a better look, but all it took was them feeling long hairs brush against their neck when they moved to recognise who it was.

Did Techno seriously not move them at all during their sleep?

They could feel their face burn out of sheer embarrassment and dread from the inescapable future teasing they were going to get from him for this.

They had managed to slot themself under his chin, their forehead still gently poking his chest. He clearly didn’t seem to care either way as he had his arms still wrapped around them to keep them from falling off. They just felt bad they had basically kept him held down for who knows how many hours.

He could’ve just pushed them off and they would’ve understood but it was still comforting that he actually stayed with them instead.

Weakly pulling away from his hold and untangling themself from the piles of blankets, they went to stand far too quickly, expecting to at least get splotchy blackened vision for a few seconds before being able to move again.

They didn’t expect to collapse at the sudden movement.

With a yelp and weak mumble of “fuck” as their knees hit against the ground, they collapsed against the side of the couch. They were lucky they had managed to get a grip on the side of the couch on their way down or else they would’ve fallen over, their incoming migraine only worsening at all the unanticipated blood flow to the head.

Their eyes flickered back towards the asleep piglin, thankful to see he hadn’t woken up from the crash to see them anxiously trying to escape.

They weren’t even sure where they wanted to go, they just needed to move. Clear their head.

With shaky legs, they forced themself to their feet, far more slowly this time around. They could see their sunglasses resting on the table nearby, but the sun didn’t seem to be coming up within the next few minutes so they left them. The small breaks they could get without wearing them were like heaven.

Eret took a step forward, and then another. They all but stumbled towards the front door, quietly as possible slipping their boots on and tying them.

As they went to open the door, they immediately stopped, realising they had left their coat upstairs. Quietly cursing under their breath, they turned back around and hauled themself up the ladder and past the heavy trapdoor, attempting to avoid any creaks in the floorboards on their way.

The idea of going without one did flicker across their mind but after running away without one before, they seriously didn’t want to experience it again.

As they hesitantly stepped towards their heavy red coat, they couldn’t help but notice the pinging coming from their communicator.

They really should’ve just turned the damned thing off again.

As they slipped the jacket over their arms, it was becoming increasingly annoying to have to hear the rapid fire of messages they were getting, genuinely starting to wonder who would be messaging them in the middle of the night.

They knew it was a bad idea, but they picked the device up and flicked it on.

A chill sped up their spine as they read the username.

> Dream: Eret, I know where you are, I’m not stupid.  
>  You’ve been reading my messages, I can tell.  
>  Did you know that I led you there on purpose? I knew they weren’t going to let you die.  
>  They’ve probably been telling you lies about me, haven’t they?  
>  What have they said?  
>  That I’m a bad person? What, that I use people?  
>  Remember, I’m on your side, I always have been.  
>  Even if you backstab me, I’ll always support you, Eret.  
>  Whatever they’ve been saying isn’t true, I’ve only ever wanted the best for you.  
>  I care about you, something they’ll never do.  
>  It’s time for you to come back. The SMP needs a king.  
>  Unless you want an invitation to the new president’s execution.  
>  I know you care about Tubbo, he’s like a brother to you, isn’t he? I remember you told me that once.  
>  You used to tell me everything, what changed? What did I do to you?  
>  Anyway, I hope you choose quickly, otherwise I’ll be wasting my time.  
>  I’ll be waiting for your response :)

They knew it.

They really couldn’t escape.

Eret stared down at the seemingly innocent device in their hands with so much anger that it surprised them. Ever since they came here, they’ve been having a hard time keeping a level head, but it was a first for them to be genuinely outraged.

They shoved the device into their coat pocket as they quickly made their way back downstairs, almost slamming their feet down as they hit the ground, instantly going towards the front door for any sense of fresh air.

The frost-bitten air nipped at their face as they stepped outside but they welcomed it. Their eyes lit their way as they walked across the wooden steps and onto the snowy ground. They almost instantly took the communicator out of their pocket and flicked it back towards the ground away from them, hitting the edge of the door with a thump.

It was otherwise silent, something they took refuge in whilst their thoughts were racing loudly. It was hard to tune them out, all they could do was gently kick the mountains of snow and ice from their shoes as they tried to keep themself from pulling their own hair out.

Who the fuck did Dream think he was?

They were pissed off, they knew it, but they weren’t about to try to rationalise with themself. They knew they were rightful in their crossness.

Threatening a child? Again? How many times has he even done that? God knows it hasn’t been a first. Even back in the L’manberg Revolution, he was obviously targeting Tommy more so than anyone else.

The oh-so omniscient being that targeted anyone in the way of his plans. One that was once his friend.

One that they just couldn’t seem to bring themself to hate.

It seemed like such an easy concept. He was horrible to them and everyone around them, so they should hate his guts and want his head on a stick.

But despite that, he was still the only one that had been there for them. Even if it was faked to fuel their power imbalance, it was far better than the actions of those who were supposedly their actual friends.

They weren’t upset with them either, more understanding than anything that they were too busy for them.

But Dream hadn’t, he was always there, even creepily so when he’d show up randomly whenever they were upset like he always had an eye on them.

Eret took a step back onto the stairs, plopping their coat below them as they sat down, head knocked up towards the array of stars.

It lit the sky in a glittery splatter of sparkles, a pleasant feeling spreading across their mind, a slight relaxer on their heavy thoughts.

It reminded them of times they’d casually look out at the stars at the tops of their towers or through the stained windows of their castle whenever they were upset. It’s vastness of the unknown being a strange comfort to them. Despite that, their spiralling feelings still stung and stuck to them.

How was it that this was the most loved they’ve felt in ages and yet they felt so alone at the same time?

They felt like an unwanted guest, and they supposed in a way, they actually were. They had shown up out of nowhere, injured and helpless, and now the household was stuck with them. Tommy didn’t want them there, even if their relationship seemed to improve ever-so-slightly, they wouldn’t doubt he’d be glad if they left still.

A whirring noise made its way to their ears, breaking them from their internal monologue and confusing them for a second on what it could be. Maybe some zombies were around the forest? The place was fairly lit up so it’d be strange but they could’ve just stumbled their way there on accident.

It wasn’t too much of a worry, most mobs would avoid them after noticing their hybrid status, and if they didn’t, it was to greet them.

They squinted at the treeline, trying to decipher what could possibly be out there. It seemed perfectly normal until the noises got increasing louder and soon enough, a _very_ familiar glowy figure stepped out from beyond the lines of trees.

“Hello Eret!” The ghost called happily with his dyed blue sheep stung behind him with a lead in hand.

They wouldn’t lie and say it wasn’t terrifying for a split second to see him, but they soon enough waved towards the apparition with slight nervousness.

The ghost floated towards them gingerly, tugging along their sheep, very concentrated on avoiding the snow like the plague.

“You’re up early! That’s new!” Ghostbur commented as he went to sit in the air above the step beside them.

Eret nodded, relaxing in his presence as they ran an inky hand through the wool of Friend. “Where have you been?” They asked, realising they honestly hadn’t seen him since before they fell asleep earlier yesterday.

“Oh I went to L’manberg! Did you know they’re holding a festival soon? They said you were invited!”

Right, because nothing bad ever happens at those.

It did take them by surprise though because that meant Tubbo had to have at least signed off on that and/or is actively participating in making it happen.

They didn’t get to talk to Tubbo much after him being elected but they knew something, he definitely wasn’t a fan of festivals anymore.

In fact, they had to avoid mentioning Techno around him, avoid loud noises or bangs, and especially not even mention the Schlatt Administration.

Why was he having a festival then? Was it therapeutic in a way? They wish they knew, they felt terrible that they didn’t, they used to be so close and now they felt like they didn’t know the kid.

Then they thought about what he said and something struck them as odd.

“Ghostbur…why would they tell you about me being invited?” Their instant worry being that they knew they were staying in the arctic.

“Oh, they don’t know where you are. They asked about you and said I should look around, if I were to see you to let them know, and tell you about the festival. Should I tell them I found you?”

“No. No, please don’t.” They couldn’t help but cringe at how sadly desperate they must sound.

“Oh..okay, they were pretty worried though. Did you message them back?”

“Not yet.”

The ghost went to say something else, probably that they shouldn’t ignore and shut out their only friends and family in their life, but stopped himself. Maybe he finally realised they weren’t worth the breath.

“You look sad. What did I miss?” He asked instead, observant as ever.

“Game night.”

“Oh! Aw, I wish someone told me. I won last time.”

“You did?”

“Yep, it was monopoly.”

“Nice job.”

“...Wait you didn’t answer my question. What’s wrong?”

Ghostbur seriously had no filter, and although they loved it in some cases, it was aggravating to hear it over and over again that they either looked like shit or felt like shit.

“It’s fine, Ghostbur. I’m fine.”

They weren’t sure if they meant that to get him to shut up or if they were just trying to convince themself they were.

“If you say so. Tubbo really wanted to talk to you, oh and apparently Niki keeps going around asking people where Techno lives? I guess those two are friends.”

“You didn’t talk to her, did you?” They tried to ignore how weird the last part was. Last time they checked, Niki was indifferent towards the piglin but they were never friends. Then again, things happen without them knowing constantly.

“Nope, I don’t want her to lead anyone bad here.”

“Good.”

They leaned against the wooden steps of the cabin, vision set dead on the stars above the faraway tree lines. The ghost at their side didn’t try to keep the conversation going for once, content with watching as the sun finally began to peek its ray out from beyond their view, sending watercolours of purples and oranges to raid across the darkened sky.

“What do you think about Dream?” They asked him with a heavy, shaky, voice. They had come out here to relax and that clearly wasn’t working so they might as well try to vent out their struggles.

“I don’t remember really anything about him from Alivebur if that’s what you mean.”

“Just your opinion on him now.”

“He’s supposed to be our friend but Tommy says he’s been a terrible friend to us, so, I don’t know.”

Eret nodded with so much understanding in their eyes it seemed to unsettle the other, glassy empty eyes met their pearly whites with apprehension.

“Do you think he’s just using us? Like pawns to his sick mind game? I mean, do you think he was even friends with ~~me~~ us in the first place?!”

Ghostbur stammered over his words, visibly confused on why they were angry, but they continued before he could even ask why.

They kicked the snow away from the steps as they got to their feet, boots crunching as their coat swayed with them. “Honestly, after everything I’ve done for him! After everything I’ve sacrificed! This is how he repays me?! He wants me dead just because I didn’t want to be his stupid puppet!”

“Eret-“ The ghost tried to warn from his seat, eyes flickering from the former king to the front door as it creaked open slightly when their voice continued to rise.

“I did everything for him! I ran that goddamn country more than he ever will! All he did was sit back and incite violence that fell onto me. It’s not fucking fair!”

Whoever was at the door stepped away, they didn’t notice how the footsteps echoed throughout the house as new ones joined theirs.

The parallels hit them unwantedly. Their words were just a copy of those spoken to them far too many times from the perpetrator himself.

_“Eret? Eret, where are you going?”_

_“You can’t just leave, not after all I’ve done for you.”_

_They narrowly avoided being hit as a netherite axe met the middle of the tree they were behind, bark splitting at the seams as they took off again into a run they knew they were losing stamina in._

_“Come on, I gave you everything and you’re just going to treat me like this?”_

His words haunted them like a reminder they could never erase.

Were they just doing the same as he did?

“I just,” Their voice hitched as the spike of anger died down into nothing but dread, an endless hole of worries. “Am…am I doing the right thing?”

“You are.” A voice answered their rhetorical question, a voice that definitely did not belong to the ghost they thought they were talking to. Their thoughts were too muddled to think of who it belonged to.

Eret turned hastily, hands at the ready to defend themself, only to drop as they quickly realised it wasn’t who they thought it was.

Phil stood with his gentle wings, open and inviting. Bleary and tired eyes meeting theirs with fear.

Their vision was tunneled but they could swear they saw Tommy by the front door for a second before their gaze rested back on the fallen angel in front of them.

“It doesn’t feel like it.”

He stared sadly at them, taking a step forward but they backed away.

“I failed them, Tubbo, Niki, Fundy, they all have to pay for my mistake! Again! I’ve done nothing but cause them problems.” They continued, voice level with certainty and belief in their own words. “He’s going to kill them if I don’t go back to him!”

“That’s Dream talking, that’s not your fault. He just wants to use them to get back at you.”

“It’s working.” They scoffed.

“You aren’t going to leave…are you?”

The thought hadn’t even crossed their hazy mind but it sure as hell sounded nice. They had come to love and appreciate these people, they didn’t want to lead Dream to hurting them too.

Their silence answered enough already, they looked away as Phil’s face shattered at their unspoken answer.

“Eret- you can’t go back there, I saw your castle. That’s not a home!”

“It’s all I have left.”

“That’s not true! ~~Will~~ Eret!”

He stumbled over his words but they heard it, they knew what he was trying to say. What he meant to say.

Who he really wished he was talking to.

“Is that all I am to you?” Their voice quiet and broken in a mix of teary stammers. “Am I just some replacement for your son?!”

“That’s not-“

He stopped when they went to turn away, instantly taking a step towards them when they tried to take another step away.

“Eret.” A voice that wasn’t Phil’s called to them. They glanced back, only to see Tommy had moved from the doorway to stand out between the two of them.

“This is what Dream does, he fucks with your head and you think sometimes he’s the worst person ever and then you think you’re best friends. The fact is, he’s a dick and treated you like shit, just like he did with everyone else.” He started, surprisingly not angry with them at all, if anything he was understanding.

“If I don’t go, he’ll hurt him. I don’t have a choice.” Eret whispered out with a strained voice.

“He’s just threatening you. He’s not going to actually do anything. Think about it, Tubbo’s the president now and they’re actually getting along for some fucking reason. He wouldn’t throw away that power to get you back, he’s just scaring you.”

They knew they were starting to sound hysterical but they still shook their head no. “I know him, he’ll definitely try something, that’s not just a threat to me. I can’t just take my chances when someone else’s life is on the line.”

Tommy went to retort, loudly at that, but stopped himself when Techno walked out of the house, not saying anything as he wordlessly walked towards them with their communicator in hand. They didn’t back away from him, knowing he of all people wouldn’t stop them from leaving if they really wanted to.

“You should take a look at this.” He grunted, calmly handing it over to their now pale and freezing hands.

> The_Eret: this is technoblade  
>  Dream: Why do you have his communicator?  
>  The_Eret: because  
>  i dont care what you do, dream, but leave my family alone  
>  Dream: You didn’t answer me.  
>  The_Eret: they’re busy  
>  you need to learn to accept defeat  
>  unless you’re cashing that favour in, leave us alone  
>  they’re with us now, if you keep trying to message her, you’ll be messing with the entire arctic empire  
>  Dream: Fine.  
>  Have fun at that festival :) I’ll just meet her there.  
>  The_Eret: what festival  
>  nvm, im not wasting my time talking to some homeless man  
>  Dream: L’manberg is holding a festival in four days, I expect you’ll be there?  
>  The_Eret: we’ll see about that  
>  Dream: :)

“He’s not going to do anything, it’s a scare tactic.” He continued, his tone lowered as if he was trying to talk down a terrified animal. Which in a way, he was, they all noticed how the snow evaporated under their feet whenever they’d talk, the ground becoming nothing but rotten soil. “Tubbo is fine, you’re going to be fine, no one is in danger.”

Eret silently handed him the device back as they dragged the piglin into a hug, mumbling out a thank you and stunning him for a second before he attempted to awkwardly pat them on the back.

“I can’t believe you called him a homeless man on my account.” They muffled out, laughing shakily. Their emotions were still in a whirlwind but the joke had managed to break them out of it for a laugh, even for a few seconds.

“What?! I want to see!” Tommy jumped in the moment he heard them, running over to them and snatching the device out of his hands. He scanned over the messages, not showing any reaction to the past ones, only bursting into a loud and wheezy fit of laughter at the one message.

Phil still stood off to the side still, broken wings folded back. Frozen in his movements on whether or not to come closer to the trio.

When they met his gaze, although the tension between the two was still strong, they gestured for him to come over.

He took their offer happily, dragging Tommy in as he pulled them into a group hug, despite his squeaks of protest.

“I’m sorry.” He started, pulling Eret in particular down and closer to rest his forehead against his. “I never want you to feel like I’m comparing you two or see you as a replacement. You’re not, you are your own person who I care for so much. I'm lucky enough to still see some side of Wilbur everyday.”

“Yeah, his annoyingly happy side.” Tommy scoffed, but Phil just rolled his eyes and ruffled his hair.

“It’s alright…it just..hurt after what Dream said.” Eret muttered, leaning into the comforting embrace with a sad smile.

“You’re allowed to be upset, it wasn’t okay. You could hold a grudge against me if you wanted to, you’re entitled to your own feelings.”

It seemed like an obvious concept but it was one they had to be forcibly forgotten about, being reminded of it meant the world to them.

“Are you ready to come inside? You might want your sunglasses soon.” He then asked, peeking out of the embrace to look at the rising sun.

They had forgotten about the sun rising, nodding quietly. They felt Phil let go of them and they shuffled out of their grip on Techno.

“You scared the shit out of me when I walked out here and saw you just standing there yelling with glowing eyes. Terrifying as fuck to see that in the middle of the night.” Tommy mentioned as he led the way back inside. They couldn’t tell if he was actually being light hearted with them for once if he was doing his undetected passive aggressiveness again.

They tried not to flinch at his words but failed miserably. Their eyes were a poor subject to talk about.

“What are we going to do about the festival?” They asked instead, completely disregarding what Tommy said.

“Festival?” Phil echoed, realising that he was the only person to not read the messages they had gotten.

“L’manberg is having a festival in four days!” A voice from farther into the house called, and within seconds the ghost of their former president came running out. “Everyone’s really excited about it.”

“Isn’t the festival…?” Phil started, blue eyes glancing between Techno and Tommy for any sort of clarification on his unasked question.

Techno nodded uncaringly, not bothered by the implications at all, meanwhile Tommy quieted instantly at the mention of the event.

“Nothing good has ever come out of one, so why would he hold one?” Eret more so rhetorically questioned aloud, shutting the door behind them as they all walked back inside. It felt like a layer of stress melted off them from the warm air inside, they almost didn’t want to take their coat off yet to warm up faster.

“Is there anything to celebrate around this time?” Phil suggested, which made them look towards Tommy for answers. It’s not like they’d know.

He shrugged. “We don’t have any holidays right now.”

“We should go.” Techno hummed, mind already made up. He was in the middle of pulling his hair back into a ponytail as he went to walk away as if it was the end of the conversation. Ignoring the way Tommy gaped at him like he was insane for saying that.

“No, nope, nope. I’m not losing my last life because of you being an absolute idiot.”

“We’d be invisible the whole time.” Techno clarified with a roll of his eyes. “It’s an easy way to figure out what’s going on over there and an opportunity for terrorism, I don’t see the issue here.”

As they got into a debate on whether or not it was even possible for them to get away with watching an entire festival from the sidelines with as many invis potions as possible, they slipped away to grab their sunglasses from the side table. By the time they tapped back into the conversation, it had gotten to the point where Phil had to interrupt them, saying that, ‘no, they could not up and spawn a wither in the middle of the festival and then leave.’

They tried to hold in a laugh at that, failing yet again.

“We’re going to need more gear.” Techno added, glaring towards his brother as he said it.

“You have a base filled with netherite.” Eret immediately mentioned, confused.

“Tommy keeps losing his gear.”

“I do not LOSE it. IT BREAKS!”

“THERE'S THIS THING CALLED MENDING, THERE ARE NO EXCUSES.”

That was the loudest they think they’ve heard the piglin’s voice go.

“We’ll go netherite mining, go get ready.” Phil spoke up, setting a hand between the two boys to keep another nonsensical argument from starting. “We’ll need more tnt and fire resistance potions, stat.”

Eret stopped in their steps, looking back at him in confusion for a second. “We don’t need any of that, just bring a few fire resistance potions and shields.” As if it was an obvious thing and was weird for him to suggest otherwise.

Phil blinked owlishly back at them, utterly bemused.

“Do you trust me?” They continued, a little amused no one had gotten it yet.

Phil paused, nodding in confusion. “Yes, of course I do, what does that-“

They waved him down, shaking their head as they went to climb back upstairs. “You’ll see, I mine netherite very efficiently.”

He didn’t stop them for more questions, just shaking his head and telling his boys to go change.

They heaved themself onto the second floor, quickly looking through their clothes for anything suitable for the nether. They knew Phil had brought a lot of clothes suited for their freezing weather, but they weren’t about to get heat stroke because they decided to wear a sweater in above 100 degree weather.

Pulling out the thinnest shirt they could find and a more durable pair of pants, they got to changing. They got to being in the middle of tying the spare armour pieces around their legs before they heard people talking downstairs again.

They had no idea how others were so fast with it, it took them like ten minutes to figure out their chestplate when they first started wearing armour.

They hurried to finish and only stopped to fish out a few gold braclets and rings from their bag to hopefully deter piglins without having to go completely without their sunglasses.

Techno would probably appreciate it too, now that they thought about it.

Clipping them on, they dragged their coat back on for the trip to the nether portal and went to join the others.

“Ready?” Phil called as he searched through mountains of chests for something, pulling out a few more glass vials to hand to Techno as he mixed the magma cream at a brewing stand nearby.

They hummed, leaning back against the wall behind them as the others handed out sets of potions.

“Got shields?” Phil asked again as he polished off his own, attempting to clean off past dried blood off it.

“I can’t believe you’re making me carry a shield, cringe.” Techno huffed, shooting a glare in Eret’s direction, which they smiled innocently at as if they had nothing to do with it.

Tommy soon enough joined them from the basement, nearly running right into them as he sped over to the set of bottles leftover for him.

They made themself useful by handing out glass bottles of water when everyone else went to grab last minute things, not missing how Phil went full parent mode at the reminder and made them also take pieces of bread each or else he was going to ‘turn this car around.’

After a few more seconds of running around, they were ready to go.

“Let’s go men!” Tommy almost yelled as he unlocked the front door and swung it open, only to stop and look back at Eret questioningly. “Men and woman? Person? Bitch?”

“Any? Maybe not the last one.”

He smirked, repeating himself. “Let’s go men and homeless bitch!”

“I have an entire castle???”

Their response got completely ignored as the younger one just snickered as he led them out the door. They tried to pretend like they didn't see how warmly Phil smiled at the two of them for their light hearted bickering.

Ghostbur yelled a goodbye to them as they closed the door behind them.

They followed behind the two blondes as Techno walked at their side, noting how he’d randomly look down at the bracelets jangling against their wrists before forcing himself to look back at the snowy ground ahead of them.

Eventually they just clipped one off and handed it to him with a small smile for him to fiddle with, which he, albeit stubbornly, took and messed around with as they kept walking.

Their nether portal wasn’t that far, but it definitely was in a direction they had never been in, following along almost nervously, scared to end up lost. Though they doubted the piglin next to them would let them, as he kept randomly yanking them by the shoulder out of the way of things or in one direction as Phil would turn the group to the left or right, never able to actually move themself.

Eret wouldn’t lie and say it didn’t somewhat sting, the man had way too much brute strength.

As the glow of the purple portal shined in the distance, Tommy took up chanting, “let’s go”, repeatedly until Techno snapped at him lightly to “please shut up.”

As they took their turns passing through the two realms, they couldn’t ignore how their stomach doubled over at the change in environment, nearly stumbling in their steps away with a gritted frown.

“You alright, mate?” Phil worriedly asked, going to take a step towards them before they lifted a hand for him to stop, coughing into their elbow before trying to speak up.

“I’m fine, just, give me a second.” They hoarsely made out before coughing again, wordlessly taking the glass bottle of water Techno held out for them. After chugging it and blinking a few times for their vision to clear, they gave the okay to keep moving, not entirely sure what had caused the fit. Maybe they just walked into the portal weirdly? They weren’t sure.

Phil led the way again towards their mines, occasionally looking back to check on them as they kept going. The closer they got, the more confused he seemed on what exactly Eret’s idea for mining was.

“Tommy, remember when I asked if you wanted to see me set off some explosions?”

He looked back at them quizziedly. “Uh, yeah, why?” Shortly after, a look of recognition shined in his face and they could swear his eye shines basically twinkled in excitement at the revelation.

“What?” Phil called back in confusion, an eyebrow raised at the wordless understanding between the two of them, Techno seemed to have gotten it as well, muttering how it ‘still wasn’t necessary to make him bring a shield.’

They just shook their head and asked him to keep going and to bring them to a more secluded area of the mines that they haven’t explored.

He didn’t question them thankfully, and soon enough they arrived at a clearing of netherack, only eleven feet up from the casing of bedrock along the bottom of the nether.

Eret gestured for them to move back as they slipped their pickaxe into their gloved hands and dug a small cave in as they tore through the layers of netherack with ease.

“Shields up, boys.” They called as they slipped the pickaxe back into the slot on their belt. Pulling a glove off and letting their jet black hand press firmly against the warm pile of netherack.

“Eret, what are you-“ Phil started but before he could finish, an explosion set off from right in front of him.

Debris zipped past their face in flakes of red dust and particles of blackstone snapping and nearly slicing into their open hand. The wall had cracked and broken down at the pressure and opened up to the carved in hole they had made.

A grin rose upon their face at the release and sounds of Tommy yelling happily in the background replaced the booming sounds as he rushed past them to explore the now broken in widespread area.

They let their arm drop to their side as they glanced back at the two leftover from their group.

Techno was practically ignoring them in favour of staring at the pot of gold in the distance with an aura of excitement around him despite his blank look.

Phil…well he was walking towards them like a disappointed father and they weren’t about to lie and say it wasn’t intimidating as hell.

He pulled them down to his height as he started his scolding rant. “Eret, you can’t just set an explosion off without warning! What if-“

“Tommy knew before I did it, if it bothered him, he would’ve yelled at me.” They quickly cut in with a squeak.

He let out a sigh, letting go of them as he went to look over their hand for any injuries, dusting the stray dust from their palm. “You aren’t hurt?”

They nodded.

“...Just warn me next time, alright? This isn’t straining you to do, right?”

“It’s liberating, actually.” They confessed and it was the truth. It felt great to finally be able to let off some steam.

He gave in and let go of their arm with a gentle nod, turning to go help Tommy with mining a spare piece of ancient debris he found neatly resting in one of the corners of the cave.

Techno had left them to go mine the gold he found, complimenting them on their work as he passed by.

Eret moved their sunglasses up as they rubbed at their eyes, trying to wipe away the haziness from their thoughts and vision. As freeing as it felt to set an explosion off, and the itching feeling to set another off was, something still felt off. They had a feeling it was connected to their coughing fit earlier but they otherwise felt fine, their headache from the morning had begun to wear off too, so what was wrong?

They didn’t have the time to think too much into it.

Clearing their dry throat, they joined the rest of them with a pickaxe in hand to help out with mining out any materials they wanted.

Soon enough, they were allowed to continue on their track of explosions with a bang. Tommy practically egged them on everytime with a cheer and wide grin.

“This is one is a fuck you to Dream!” He shouted as he set his shield up.

“Right!” Eret yelled back, sending another line of mass destruction down the mineshaft.

“Should I stop them?” They could hear Phil quietly whisper to Techno.

“Why? They’re having fun and I get gold and netherite out of this. It’s a win-win situation.” He replied as he mined away at another pot of broken up golden shards.

He didn’t step in, so they kept at it. He only stopped them when they started to visibly get light headed and stumbled in their steps.

“Are you alright?” He whispered, and they tried to nod and wash away his worries but it was unbelievable with their clouded over look.

Phil glanced back at the other two, who hadn’t noticed anything was amiss, before turning back to them as he gently led them to sit down on the rubble.

“Do you need water? Food?”

They shook their head no before lifting their scratched up hands to press against their face with a quiet whine. It was then that he put an end to their mining adventure, calling the two boys over to let them know this was their last one, much to Tommy’s disappointment, but no one argued after seeing how unwell they looked.

Techno was the first to return to their side, squatting down next to them to check up on them, asking them something on how they were feeling but they only mumbled out a response.

The piglin frowned, a look of concern spreading across his face as he tried to prod them to reply more. They felt like their ears were ringing and all they could do was mutter for him to stop.

The biggest mistake was when he tried to help lift them to their feet, whispering with a quiet voice that they were going back to the house. Their vision dipped as the world seemed to tilt, only to realise it was because they felt a rush of dizziness.

Techno supported them up but was obviously conflicted on what to do, in the process of going to call Phil back over before he stopped and froze up when they started to go limp in his arms, vision darkening as they fell back against his shoulder.

The last they heard was him calling for Phil to come back with a worried voice before they completely blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Techno & Eret cuddles are good for the soul dhmu  
> I am self proclaiming myself as the ceo of techno & eret friendship fics /j  
> Underrated dynamic, it’s just very funny to me bc Techno is an anarchist & they’re king and yet in canon they always seem to be on neutral terms w/ each other  
> But then I remember the syndicate exists now & all I feel is pain
> 
> ALSO YALL KEEP GIVING ME IDEAS AND I FEEL MORALLY OBLIGATED TO SOMEHOW INCLUDE THEM FHRNFNFJJD
> 
> haha yet again a totally not important side note but *squint* whats that?? a series tag?? huh wow strange, wonder what thats for


	12. XII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eret: *sick*  
> Phil: dadza mode has been activated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s the sickfic chapter time boys 😌✨
> 
> WARNING  
> Sickness/throwing up, implied past self-harm, & eating disorder behaviour
> 
> Just as reference since this might be confusing to read otherwise since it wasn’t really talked abt buT, since El Rapids was founded in protest of Dream dethroning George & then recrowning Eret, it doesn’t happen the same way in this universe. Hence why Sapnap, Quackity, Karl, & Eret are all on decent terms w/ each other still
> 
> There’s also a small comment that’s making fun of how Quackity & Eret & Karl were canonly engaged, just clarifying that it is all strictly platonic & a joke :))

The veil between consciousness and unconsciousness weighed heavy on their mind, like a dense pressure they couldn’t move away from.

During the slim bits of awareness they could muster up, they could vaguely recognise someone sitting down in front of them. A palm held out as they were asked a series of incomprehensible questions.

The figure set a cool hand to their forehead and they couldn’t help but lean into the simple action, anything was a relief to the overwhelming heat they were feeling.

They could slightly make out someone saying they were ‘too warm’ before they felt the claws of unconsciousness pull at their mind again, their vision blackening within seconds.

The next time they were weakly awoken, it was from the shuffling of someone carrying them. Their vision blurred as they tried to open their eyes, seeing nothing but a mix of browns and white as it cleared to a sight of a snowy forest.

They could only look around for a few seconds before the hefty weight on their eyelids pressured them to close their eyes yet again, not opening them again until they woke for a final time.

This time around, it felt like the mist had finally begun to clear from their slow thoughts. Letting their senses finally play catch up as they blinked the sleepiness away.

They could feel a blanket covering them as they slowly lifted their heavy head to look around, only to realise they had gotten moved to the living room couch again.

They weren’t sure if it was out of convenience but it definitely was convenient for them as they felt the beginning of bile scratch at their throat. It felt like a shockwave of burning hot warmth against their overall cold frigid body.

Once their brain realised what was happening, they forced themself to keep their eyes open for longer than two seconds. They tried to think of what to do but it felt like a layer of cloudiness was keeping them from thinking straight. Sweat was beading against their forehead, wincing as ruthless pains began to pound against their skull whenever they thought hard enough.

Attempting to ignore the sharp pangs snapping against their head, they lifted themself to sit up before swinging their feet down to get up and run to the bathroom.

Eret stumbled as they stepped forward but thankfully didn’t fall like before, staggering their steps forwards without much care to ask for any help. With the few seconds of passing glances to the rest of the room, they noticed someone else’s sleeping figure laying across a nearby chair but they didn’t have the time to wake them up.

As they blinked against the haziness of their mind, they couldn’t help but wince at the sunlight coming in from the windows, still the middle of the day. They had woken without their sunglasses on and it wasn’t like they could turn around and grab them, so they were stuck suffering onward.

As they shakily waltzed into the bathroom, they fell to their knees in front of the toilet and let themself heave out the leftover dinner from the day prior and burning specks of blood and bile into the porcelain bowl.

As their overwhelming feeling of nausea lifted, they almost collapsed under the pressure of sudden exhaustion, resting their feverish forehead against the cool ~~warm? they couldn’t tell~~ rim of the bowl.

Coughing roughly against the frame and racking their head and lungs in pain, they fought against their heavy eyelids to stay open. They couldn’t pass out here, and they weren’t about to let themself do so.

It was just their luck to end up getting sick when they had a festival to prepare for. They had only four days and one of them at least was going to be stuck with them heaving out their insides in a bathroom. Nice.

Their now damp curls stuck to their forehead out of sweat, whining at the cold chill they felt throughout their body. It would switch periodically in waves of overwhelming heat and freezing cold, only upsetting their headache and stomach even more.

As they tried to sort through their foggy thoughts, they picked up on the faint and distant sound of someone moving, the shuffling of feet nearing them. They didn’t have the energy to move their head and attempt to greet the visitor, just vaguely noticing that someone had stopped in front of the doorframe.

“Eret…? Are you alright?” Phil asked blearily from the doorway, concern sweeping its way into his voice as he took in their disheveled state.

They just let out a low whine in response, they tried to weakly gesture for him to leave them alone but he just sent them a sad smile and walked towards them despite their noises of protest. He grimaced at the mess in front of them but still leaned down to their side.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone you were feeling sick?” Phil gently asked as he went to pull away the hairs stuck to their face, holding back the clumps of curls in case they needed to vomit again.

“I didn’t know.” Eret brokenly wheezed out, whimpering against his grip. Clammy hands gripped the corners of the seat as they laid there painfully dry heaving for the next few minutes, waiting for any sign that they were going to be sick again.

He didn’t try to push them with questions, setting his free hand on their back reassuringly as they fell into heavy coughing fit.

“Can you stand?” He asked again once they finally seemed to calm down.

They didn’t know, they had barely gotten to the room in the first place, but they couldn’t even bring themself to say it, just mumbling something incoherent under their breath as they leaned away from the pile of throw up.

“I’m not letting you rest here, come on, it’ll be a lot comfier at the couch.” He hummed as he let go of their hair and slowly tried to move them to their feet, careful to not make any sudden movements.

They tried to walk with him but it more so became him dragging them back to the couch, draping an arm around them so they wouldn’t up and fall over on his watch. Broken wings fluttered out and hovered over them like a protective shield.

Eret fell back against the cushions of the couch the moment they were let go, a faint thankful smile on their face as they curled over to lay down. He caught them before they could fall back asleep, pressing a hand to their forehead to check their temperature again, a frown finding its way onto his face at the result.

They looked up at him expectedly, so he answered the unasked question. “You’re warmer than earlier, are you in any pain?”

“Just my head.” They replied with a hoarse voice, ignoring whatever he said next in favour of looking for the blankets they had before. It felt like it was utterly freezing, despite their high temperature.

Phil must’ve caught onto what they were doing because he pulled a blanket up from where it laid on the ground and handed it to them with an amused look, smiling when they mumbled out a thank you.

“Do you think you could stomach any healing potions?” He softly asked, keeping his voice lowered around them after hearing about their headache.

Eret quickly and firmly shook their head no, not even in the mood to flatter the idea, even if it would help them far faster than waiting out for the fever to break.

Phil let them rest at that, not going argue that it’d be better for them to just take at least one. He leaned back and pushed away the stray hairs from their eyes, ruffling their hair slightly as he went to go back to his seat.

“Are you going back to sleep? It’s still daytime.”

They weren’t sure, as exhausted as they both physically and mentally felt, they had just woken up after who knows how many hours of dead sleep. They also doubted trying to fall back asleep would actually work as of right now, so they waved away his question with a shake of their head.

“What happened? In the nether, I mean.” They sleepily asked back, rubbing at their tired eyes as they slipped their sunglasses back on. Someone must’ve taken their armour off for them, as they shortly realised after that they were just in the jeans and undershirt they had left in.

“You scared us.” Phil admitted with a sigh. “I thought maybe that arrow wound had gotten infected but Techno didn’t like the idea of checking when you were unconscious.”

They’d have to thank the piglin later for that one.

“That’s healed over, I think it’s just from stress. It’s not that unusual for me…” Eret trailed off, a sense of guilt rising to think they’d ever have to worry about them. It was like an ever looming presence on their mind, almost making them miss how Phil’s expression had dropped after their words. He looked at them with such a mix of concern and troubledness it was almost unsettling.

“Eret…most people don’t normally get fevers from stress…”

“Oh.” Maybe it was a byproduct of their feverish mind but they had replied so simply like they just hadn’t known, not necessarily surprised either. Their previous life had required them to be high strung into constant stress, it was just another price to pay for a pretty crown upon their head.

“Just how frequently were you sick?”

“It really wasn’t that often, I misspoke-“ They quickly tried to go back on what they said with a stumbling voice at his question. They didn’t want to get into the messy details of the way their head used to buzz in pain almost daily or how they’d feel exhausted doing anything other than laying down or being hunched over their work table.

“You don’t have to lie to me, son. I’m just trying to understand.” Phil lightly interrupted, kind and understanding eyes meeting theirs.

“...I wasn’t necessarily sick but I did feel unwell most of the time.” They gave in, handing him an inch when he nodded, urging them to continue with a mile. “I don’t know, maybe it was my less than perfect mental health but I’d feel sick often.”

“You were overworking yourself repeatedly.” He stated rather bluntly, although not accusingly. “I’m guessing you weren’t taking breaks?”

Their ashamed silence was an answer enough.

“You have to start learning to take proper care of yourself, mate. I’d like for you to get to a place where I don’t have to drag you out of bed in the morning.”

Although they smiled slightly at his words, they knew he was being serious, rightfully so. “It’s better than it was before.” They tried to reason and he agreed.

“I’m proud of you for that but-“ Phil paused mid-sentence, watching as they completely froze up at the slight praise, a wash of confusion over their face from his comment. It wasn't normal for them to be congratulated on anything, especially not something like simply being in a slightly better headspace than the bottomless pit of sorrow they were stuck in for so long.

“It’s hard to do, and I understand that, but you do need to start trying to change your habits. You’ve already done a lot and I am very proud of that, let’s just keep going though and not stop here.” He continued more softly, always keeping a quieter voice around them to not alarm them. They had noticed how differently he acted around them, like they were a scared deer he was trying to constantly talk down.

“I can try-“

“Nope, none of that shit, I need a clear answer.”

“Phil.”

He was giving them a look like he wasn’t about to budge either way. With an annoyed groan, they gave in.

“I’ll work on self-care, I promise.” Although it was more so sarcastic, he accepted it with a bright grin.

“That wasn’t that bad, was it?”

Eret rolled their eyes, quietly adjusting to lay on their back and away from the angel across the room. They thought for a second that’d ward him away from keeping up a conversation with them, but they were soon enough proven wrong when he asked a more hesitant question.

“Mind if I ask you about something?” 

“Shoot away.” They replied, although a little uncomfortable with how serious his tone had turned. Something they said must’ve reminded him of something but they really weren’t in the mood to flatter a serious conversation.

“It’s about your castle…”

They tuned out the rest of his sentence.

Nope, not today, not right now when they were already feeling far too vulnerable for their own liking from their plaguing sickness.

“Eret?” Phil prodded, when they glanced his direction they could easily tell how bothered he looked with them not responding.

“...What were you saying?”

“If you don’t want to talk about it that’s fine, just tell me.”

They didn’t, they’d rather never talk about it and pretend the last year they’ve spent there never happened. As if it wasn’t their fault their home had turned from something of grace and power to the embodiment of their overwhelming guilt.

“It’s fine, I just missed what you asked.”

They really needed to stop doing that. Giving in to other’s questions or _demands_ without thinking of themself first and foremost. Their passiveness would be the end of them someday.

Phil didn’t look like he believed them but he clearly has been wanting to ask this for a while with how nervous he was acting. He continued, although more carefully.

“What…happened there?” He visibly cringed at his wording but it was the only thing they could assume he could think of. They wouldn’t know what to say either.

“Uh, depression, unresolved trauma.” Eret replied simply and sarcastically. They couldn’t help themself, maybe it would keep him from continuing if they were snappy.

“...Other than that, I mean, your throne was almost entirely destroyed, mate.”

They almost felt a rush of relief over _that_ being asked about and not anything else in that hellhole. “That? I did that.” They admitted easily, not an ounce of guilt in their voice.

“You did that?” He echoed back, voice shaken up with utter confusion. “Why would you even-“

“Revenge.” They cut in quickly. “After Dream crowned George, I was pissed. It was the only thing I had left and he had taken it from me, so I reclaimed it.” They answered blankly, not even phased. He looked to almost jump out of his skin when they interrupted, their phrasing doing nothing to comfort the poor man who was just trying to understand.

Was this conversation harder on him than it was for them? It was starting to seem like it. Should they just say they didn’t want to talk about it anymore?

“That was serious damage-“

“Phil, you don’t have to talk about this.” They needed to stop interrupting each other but it was important and it was obvious he was beating around the bush on something. “We can just forget about that, move past it, isn’t that what you were saying earlier?”

“No, we need to address it. I’m talking to you about it because I’m concerned, Eret. For you. It was horrible living conditions, I can’t even begin to imagine what living there was like for you.”

They mumbled out an apology for worrying him so much but he just shook his head, an uneasy hand raising to pinch the bridge of his nose.

He muttered something under his breath, but they could catch on that it was a statement they were supposed to hear, so they asked for clarification.

It wasn’t what they were expecting to hear.

“I saw your bathroom, Eret.”

Their thoughts stopped in its tracks, gaze glued onto the ceiling as if it was the most important thing in their life at the moment as they avoided his desperate glances. Deep down, they had a feeling he did. The way he’d avoid certain topics around them. How he’d look at them with a hint of constant distress and worry. How he looked uncomfortable whenever they’d hold onto their sword for too long with an iron grip.

He knew everything then, didn’t he?

They felt exposed, like a part of them had just been shown off to the public eye without their consent. A part of them they didn’t want anyone else to know about, that only the ever hated god of their world had witnessed in their darkest moments. They didn’t even like that Dream had seen them so weak, now Phil? They didn’t even want to meet his gaze anymore, not sure if they could even bring themself to do so.

“Who knows?” Eret finally asked back with a heavy voice. Wanting nothing more than for the silence to deafen the rest of their conversation. For them to stop at that and fulfill their urge to walk out on addressing their problems again.

He probably chose now of all times to mention it because they couldn’t run away this time around. Smart thinking.

“No one, I didn’t tell Techno any details.”

They kept quiet, not sure if he was expecting them to go onto an entire explanation on why they ever thought harming themself was the answer. They didn’t even know the answer.

“What I’m trying to get to here is that I’m here for you, we all are. We just want to understand, we want to help. So if you ever feel like that again, talk to us. You don’t have to say much or anything at all, just something to let us know, alright? It doesn’t matter who, I can talk to Techno if you’d like me to and catch him up, but you need to reach out. It doesn’t matter when or if you don’t feel like it matters that much, anything would be better than holding that in.” His words seemed to come from somewhere else, like he was trying to prevent something he had already gone through. They could pick up on the unsaid name from a mile away, but it didn’t matter at the moment.

They absentmindedly scratched at the light tingling feeling in their arms at the reminder. Despite the sleeves covering _them_ from sight, they felt all too present at that moment.

“You’ve already done so much for me-“

“That doesn’t matter, it’s the bare minimum.” Phil cut in with a sad smile plastered across his face. “We just want what’s best for you. We want to help you in any way possible.”

Eret nodded along, not in the place or mood to argue either way.

“I’m sorry for springing that on you but I couldn’t in good conscious just ignore it.” He continued, much more relaxed with their compliance. They tried to nod again but fell into a fit of suffocating coughs, hacking up the manifestation of their worries.

He was at their side within seconds, wings flickered outwards in alert as he set a hand on their shoulder. Distressed eyes looking over their now hunched over figure, sweat building up on their face at the attack. The moment they could feel the sweet feeling of fresh air finally finding its way to their lungs, they moved away from Phil’s overbearing hold.

“You alright, son?” He tried to ask when they set their head in their hands, breathing jagged and all over the place.

“Fine.” They choked out with a heavy layer of unbelievably. “Water?”

He lightly nodded and reluctantly left their side to grab a leftover glassed bottle of water from earlier, still cold from the ever-freezing temperature. It didn’t matter either way to them, warm or cold, drinking it felt just as disgusting as it always did when they were sick.

They silently thanked him as it felt like a small relief to their closed up throat. They hated being sick, it left them to be doted on and far too vulnerable than they’d ever like to feel. Without a title to their name anymore, it was like the final fuck you to their chances at any power anymore.

Phil’s help was gratifying and they thanked him every time but it was yet again another chance for him to become overprotective of them, something they didn’t necessarily want. They loved him and everyone else in the household, but they didn’t want to burden them with the idea of needing to protect them of all people.

“You should eat, you missed lunch when you were knocked out.” Phil mentioned, breaking them from their thoughts. “I can make mushroom stew if you’d like? It might be easier on your stomach.”

They agreed, anything to get a break.

He seemed happy with their agreement, patting them on the knee as he got up again to return to the kitchen, calling back to ask if they needed anything else.

They asked for their communicator.

He seemed to want to ask the obvious question as to why but kept it to himself and grabbed the device from the inside pocket from the familiar red cloak Techno would wear and handing it to them with a wary look.

They weren’t exactly sure why they wanted the device, it caused them nothing but distress, something they didn’t want at all right then, but they still hadn’t answered anyone’s texts. The reminder and constant comparisons of how Phil would treat them versus how their so-called friends would just fuel their unprecedented feud with them.

They wanted to at least respond to Niki, get an answer as to why a man they had never interacted with weeks prior was treating them like a son when their own friends couldn’t visit them more than once over months of a time. Why they could never visit their castle or say ‘hello’ or do any sort of act of kindness towards them when they had already worked to redeem themself in their eyes.

Flicking on the device, they could easily see the bombardment of notifications still plaguing their chatrooms, but one new one stood out. Texts sent only minutes prior, not from Niki, but from Sapnap of all people.

> Sapnap to The_Eret: ayo princey  
> guess what  
> g u e s s  
> answer me now or im spawning ur parents  
> e r e t

They really weren’t about to get out of this one. He could definitely see they were online at this point.

> The_Eret: yes?

They could already tell they were going to regret answering.

> Sapnap: holy shit u answered  
> big news  
> i started a new country lmaO  
> The_Eret: pardon?  
> Sapnap: IM NOT JOKING  
> DREAM KEEPS BEING A TOTAL BITCH TO GEORGE AND ME SO WE LEFT  
> MF SAID HE DIDNT CARE ABT US  
> The_Eret: so you just???? left??????  
> Sapnap: YEAH WITH QUACKITY AND KARL  
> dream said we can’t name our country Mexican L’manberg so now we’re El Rapids  
> The_Eret: oh  
> and Dream’s alright with that?  
> Sapnap: yep, hasnt tried to bomb us yet  
> o right u left lolll talk abt double standards

They never thought they’d end up jealous of their friend but the shot of envy still hit them at the message.

> also george wanted to let u know he’s chill with u btw  
> he’s only ‘slightly offended’ that u killed him  
> The_Eret: thanks??? can you tell him i'm sorry again

They were still proud of the successful assassination, never a doubt in their mind. But they still played the facade. Might as well play their cards right with potential allies now being on the table.

> Sapnap: lmao yeah sure  
> where u at?? we need more ppl to join el rapids  
> im sure quackity & karl would love if u did ;)))  
> The_Eret: stop  
> don't remind me  
> that’s a mistake I’d love to forget about  
> Sapnap: ;)))))  
> The_Eret: aren't you engaged?  
> Sapnap: O YEAH LMAO UR INVITED TO OUR WEDDING  
> U CAN BE OUR PHOTOGRAPHER  
> The_Eret: aight  
> Sapnap: no joke, hope ur doing alright  
> dream’s been bitching ever since u left  
> u made the right choice smh  
> The_Eret: thanks man :)  
> Sapnap: nether bros :)))  
> The_Eret: nether bros <3  
> Sapnap: just know theres always a spot for u in el rapids  
> The_Eret: thank you :)  
> Sapnap: <3  
> gtg the fiance life calls to me  
> The_Eret: have fun!  
> Sapnap: oh i will  
> bye ;)

“It’s almost done!” Phil called as he peeked his head out from the doorframe, but they were still fixated on the mess of messages between them and the blaze hybrid.

“Everything alright?” He tried again, noticing their lack of any sort of response.

“Sapnap created a new country.”

“...I’m sorry what? What the fuck was that?”

They waved the device back towards him before attempting to explain. “Apparently Dream is allowing it, they’re El Rapids now.”

“Who’s they?” Phil called from further away, the sounds of a pot clanking as it was being moved around could still be heard from their spot.

“Quackity, Karl Jacobs, George, and him.”

“You said he’s allowing that? Wasn’t George your replacement?”

They couldn’t help but wince slightly at the reminder. “Yes he was, it’s strange he’s letting them do this. That means the SMP doesn’t have a king anymore, unless he’s already anointed someone else.”

Soon enough, Phil made his return with a bowl of steaming stew in his hands, a frown resting upon his lips as he set the bowl down on a table in front of them.

“I don’t like this. Techno showed me those messages from earlier, I think he’s just trying to open up the spot for you to take back.”

Eret couldn’t argue with that, it was obvious. A little too obvious, to the point that they had to question whether or not that was actually his true intentions. It was impossible to tell with the masked man.

“I don’t know, it doesn’t seem like him to do something so obvious like that. It sounds like it wasn’t planned on his part. It doesn’t matter anyway, I wouldn’t leave you three for another life of stress under a dictatorship.”

“We wouldn’t leave you either.” He said with a pleasant smile, pushing the bowl slightly closer to them to nudge them to set the communicator down and eat.

They couldn’t help but grimace slightly but quickly sent a final text to Niki that they were alright before turning it off, waiting till after they had at least eaten to deal with the wave of messages they undoubtedly were being sent right then.

As their ever cold hands grabbed the hot bowl, they tried to ignore Phil’s prying stare as they took a few bites, more so playing with the spoon than anything. They had just told him they were going to get better, but that didn’t mean they weren’t going to take baby steps.

“If I’m right about that not being planned, I can’t help but feel slightly bad for him, Dream I mean.”

“What do you mean?” Phil questioned back, brows furrowed in a knot. “You shouldn’t feel bad for him.”

“He just lost the only two other people he’s cared about on this server. He just isolated himself. I’m coming from a place of understanding, the same thing happened to me.”

He shook his head no. “You shouldn’t compare yourself to him. You’re trying to empathise with him. You were rightfully angry with him earlier, remember that.”

“You’re right….I hate it, I hate that I can hate him and feel bad for him at the same time. It’s really tiring to just keep flip flopping my view on him constantly.”

“That’s what Tommy was talking about, it happens to him too, still to this day. It’s just Dream’s control on you wearing off, it’ll pass with time, trust me.”

“I hope you’re right.”

He didn’t try to prod them with more questions and they didn’t try to answer anything else, simply focused on trying to get through another few mouthfuls of the stew without another questionable glance being sent their way.

They felt like all their built up problems were on constant full display, no longer something they could hide away behind a mask of charisma and pride.

In the castle, they could set any sort of self care on the backburner to never return to. Skipping meals left and right in favour of working on documents. Covering their mistakes with baggy clothes that never fit right long enough.

Dream never stopped them, but they did talk about it whenever he’d catch them.

Again, it was more than others had done and they couldn’t be mad at him for that.

Their leg bounced uncontrollably and anxiously as they settled on pushing around the mushrooms in their bowl with the silver spoon.

Phil soon caught notice of their uncomfortableness, setting a gentle hand on their wrist to stop them as he went to take their bowl away to the sink, already knowing they were done.

They were thankful he never questioned them on it.

“Do you want to take a walk? It might help lower your temperature.”

Eret was a little surprised he wasn’t forcing them to be bedridden until the fever broke, then again, last time he tried that, they completely ignored it and went out anyway. Maybe reverse psychology would actually work.

They agreed, happy to get any moment outside without worrying about something or running away from something.

Phil had to help them up, very obviously regretting asking the question as they stumbled as they got used to the use of their own feet again. They tried to give the okay but it was very clear they were still struggling. Before Phil could stop them, they leaned down and grabbed their boots.

He passed them a heavy and furred cloak, one that Techno had given them only days before. They took it and slipped it over their shoulders, the weight being a comfort against their looming anxiety.

That reminded them, they had no clue where the other two in the house were. Ghostbur hadn’t tried to jump them earlier either when their conversations had turned dark.

“Where did Tommy and Techno go?”

“Out feeding the dogs again with Ghostbur, they’ve been gone a while though…”

At that moment, Eret’s communicator decided to set off. Begrudgingly, they slipped the device out and clicked it on to see a new message pop up from none other than the devil himself.

> Technoblade: is connor apart of l’manberg?  
> really need to know  
> The_Eret: no? why??  
> Technoblade: good to know  
> thanks  
> The_Eret: ??????

“What is it?” Phil asked as he leaned up on his tippy toes to look over the device from their side, brows furrowed in confusion matching theirs at the messages. “They better not be causing problems.”

“Knowing them, they definitely are.” Eret said with a laugh as they dropped the device back into their pocket.

He groaned, muttering something about how he was shocked he wasn’t getting grey hairs yet from his kids under his breath. They snorted, ignoring the playful glare he sent their way.

“I have an idea, something you said a few days ago about your withering effect.”

“Did you bring me out here just to test a theory?”

They couldn’t help but laugh when he didn’t answer them, just gesturing for them to follow him towards a direction they hadn’t been in yet.

The small talk was minimal, mainly just short comments about how the arctic didn’t go on forever and that he had managed to find a small area of plains whilst looking for cows to bring back for their farm.

The weather wasn’t as cold anymore, especially as they got closer and closer to the edge of the snowy tundra, it was like a strange lukewarm temperature around them, definitely a byproduct of their fever. It did feel relieving to get fresh air in their lungs though.

Eventually, the clearings spread out to a small meadow in the distance. They squinted to get a better look but Phil just shook his head and told them to wait and take in the view, they listened.

It wasn’t long until they could feel the crunch of snow die off from their boots and soft grass take its place. The greenery went on for a while, an array of multicoloured flowers taking root across the vast ground. In the short distance, they could vaguely make out a group of horses, black and white in colour, it was nice, they had to admit.

“What do you think?” Phil asked softly at their side with a breath of relief.

“It’s a good view.” Eret commented back, almost having to cover their eyes over the sunglasses from the bright sun hitting them.

“I thought it might be calming. We all deserve a break these days.”

They couldn’t agree more.

“I was thinking about what you said with wither roses. That you couldn’t destroy them. So, I wanted to see if,” He pointed towards a small group of flowers near their feet, “you could turn flowers into wither roses.”

“I believe they only plant after I kill something or someone.” They reminded and they weren’t about to go kill those horses for a few roses.

“Just try it, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“I kill a bunch of flowers for no reason?”

He rolled his eyes and tapped the edge of his wing against their back to gently push them forwards to the scattered flowers.

They smirked back at him but still crouched down by the bundle of flowers, cloak hitting the ground as they did so and spread out alongside them.

“I hope this works or else I’ll be a flower murderer.” Eret muttered, shifting their sleeves back a bit as blackened fingertips tapped hesitantly against the petals.

It took only seconds for them to begin to rot, hope dying inside them as they watched them wilt away, the uneven ground and roots underneath them following suit soon after.

“I don’t think-“

“Watch.” Phil cut in before they could finish, making them look back as the flowers began to shrivel before seemingly going into bloom again. Dark petals brushing against their hands gently as they spread across the field. They could barely hold in their surprise that it had actually worked.

They watched as purplish particles filled the air around them, nervously glancing back at Phil to check he was nowhere near one.

“You shouldn’t touch them, they’ll burn away your fingertips.” They called back as they easily picked one off from the stem, mesmerised by its creation. They had no idea within the twenty two years of their life that they could even do that.

Maybe they needed to start testing their natural strengths more often.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” He asked as he sat down beside them.

They almost jolted back at how close he was to the venomous flowers, sputtering quietly that he should really move away and that they didn’t want to accidentally take his arm out. Techno would never forgive them for that.

He ignored their pleas and pointed towards the flower in their hands and then up to their head, unable to help them out but they got the idea.

They’ve done it so many times it was practically a natural instinct for them to start weaving together the stems of random flowers they would find.

They flashed a small smile as they picked a few more off their stems and got to work, carefully pulling together the stems into intricate knots as the petals rooted themselves next to each other in a line.

“Tubbo and I used to make flower crowns.” They mentioned as they continued their process.

“Really?”

“Before the, erm, ‘L’manberg incident’, we’d go out looking for flowers whenever Soot would give us a break.” Eret continued, a pleasant air surrounding them at the memory. Although the thoughts of how they left their brother behind still hurt them, the memories of their time before L’manberg, before the betrayal, before any of that, still shined through with nothing but happiness.

“What is Tubbo to you? I know you two are close, and you mentioned before about you two being brothers so I-“

“We aren’t actually related.” They instantly chimed in, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. “But he was practically a brother to me. I suppose Tommy could’ve been considered the same at one point. He used to stop randomly and compliment me on my voice, believe it or not.”

“You do have the deepest voice on the server as far as I know.”

“Oh you should’ve seen it when a visitor showed up, I believe his name was Corpse? We sound the same, just different fonts.”

“I believe it.” Phil hummed, watching as they tried the makeshift crown on before tying together the last few knots.

If they couldn’t be an actual king anymore, they’d just crown themself one.

“You think we can enchant that with unbreaking?” He questioned as they finished it off and set it neatly over their fluffed out hair.

“It’s worth a shot, wouldn’t surprise me after all that.”

They eventually convinced Phil to move away from the deadly flowers out of concern for his safety but they stayed in the meadow for longer, simply taking in the sights without a need for small talk.

It was nice to have a day to relax, despite the raging headache they could still feel lightly pounding against their frame, or the congestion in their throat.

Maybe it wasn’t all that bad to end up sick, otherwise they’d be stuck being stressed trying to prepare for the festival in four days.

“You ready to go home, son?” Phil asked after the sun had finally reached midday, an hour or so had passed already but it had felt like only a few minutes to them.

“I believe so.”

“You better get some rest. If you think I’m going to let you go to the festival and fuck around with explosions with a fever still, you are dead wrong.”

“Alright _dad_.” They had meant it jokingly but they didn’t miss how his face seemed to light up at the word.

They were making progress and they could only hope it would continue onward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the nether bros comment is 100% inspired by LogicalPanic’s A New Age fic  
> pls go read it I love it sm, witheret gives me life <333
> 
> also my last brain cell was definitely not in the dialogue writing mood this chapter bc I literally had sm trouble trying to write this one properly;;; I haven’t been feeling the best lately so writing has been harder for me, especially with longer chapters coming up, so please keep in mind it might take a bit longer to update sometimes. If u ever want updates on how chapters r going or just want clarification on things, the discord is 100% open :D totally not just advertising rn, I would never
> 
> *cough* heres the link *cough*
> 
> https://discord.gg/qVQjySgwWy
> 
> also also there’s a few statements in this chapter that will later become ironic, have fun guessing which ones :))


	13. XIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> U guys thought I was just gonna let Tommy not address his own issues? Nah, we all gotta share the trauma we got to the class

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hewwo I am back w/ another chapter  
> I am v v excited to write the next few chapters 👀  
> Question to other writers, especially if you’re neurodivergent, do you guys ever get so hyped to write something but you get so hyped that you can’t focus on writing anything, you just get stuck thinking about the idea over and over again but can’t write because you’re so excited about it  
> Bc that’s a major problem for me,, I just end up having to wait to actually write & write down anything in note format if I can at the time :00

The fourth day passed without any issues until the night fell.

Phil had taken them back home, begrudgingly getting them to shower and change again into less messy and not sweaty clothes. They had tried to keep up the small fond discussions they’d have until they started yawning, something Phil took notice of instantly and made them go lay down and rest again.

They assumed it would’ve only lasted an hour so, seeing as it was almost impossible to get a full night’s rest with them, but by the next time they woke it was completely dark out and it was because of the sounds of booming voices nearing their eardrums. Some were familiar, some weren’t, but they chalked it up to being on the verge of unconsciousness again.

“WE’RE HOME BITCHES!” Tommy yelled loudly as he stepped inside after who knows how long of being out and about, wiping away at the snow coating his armour. They leaned up and blinked blankly at him and the piglin at his side before immediately laying back down to go right back to sleep.

“Eret, Eret, big news.” He continued the moment they made eye contact as he waltzed right up to their half-sleep form, surprisingly happy to talk to them. Something good must’ve happened if he was putting aside his grudges for right now.

“Hm?” Eret muttered as they tried to somewhat force themself to wake up, rubbing at their eyes under the veil of their sunglasses.

It didn’t work, they zoned out easily after he started talking. They assumed he didn’t notice because he left them alone after a while of yelling about something seemingly important but they hadn’t picked up on any of it.

By the time they had officially become somewhat conscious, Tommy was gone but Techno had taken his place, pressing a cool hand to their forehead.

“You aren’t dying still, right?”

“No, I’m just very tired.” They mumbled, in the middle of pulling themself up into a sitting position. Yawning as he scooted them towards the edge of the couch.

“If you say that then throw up when you stand, I am kicking you out of my room.” He grunted as he helped them to their feet. They definitely didn’t purposely jab him in the side, no never, they would never do that.

They were certain he was about to trip them for it and squeaked out, “You can’t hurt me, I’m injured.” As they hurriedly clung to his arm when he attempted to throw them off.

“Why do you do this to me?”

“You haven’t tried to throw me out yet.”

“I’m kicking you out now, get off.”

Before they could retort, they heard a quiet, ahem, from nearby. Glancing away, they expected to see Phil disappointedly shaking his head at them, instead they came face to face with someone they had only met once one other time.

Someone who was _very_ tall and almost glowing with the purplish particles dancing around his lanky frame.

An Enderman hybrid, mixed with something they’ve never seen before. Ghast perhaps? They weren’t sure but it definitely was terrifying to look at so suddenly up close.

They jolted back with a small yelp of surprise, only to be held back in place by their shoulders by Techno, who snorted at their reaction.

“Erm, Hi.” He spoke, holding a hand out for them to shake. His strands of black and white hair fell in front of his eyes as he looked down and away from their gaze. He was avoiding eye contact with them, something they couldn’t blame him for, the sunglasses seemed to unsettle others, but it seemed to more so have to do with him being an Enderman. They weren’t fond of eye contact, were they?

Despite the large height difference (never once did they feel short on the server until then), he seemed to cower slightly under their gaze. Holding anxiously and tightly onto his worn-out book in his free hand. The words DO NOT READ scribbled haphazardly across the front cover in fleeting ink.

“Ranboo, right?” They tried to clear the air after the near heart attack subsided, shaking his hand gently. Their demeanour switched completely and impulsively to one they’d show in front of Dream, forced politeness. Keeping their voice light and airy.

It’s not as if they didn’t want to trust the fellow hybrid, but it was something engraved in them to do. Besides, something felt off, but they couldn’t put their finger on it.

He nodded, squinting at their features before flipping open his book of tattered yellowish papers, skimming through some pages before stopping, scribbling something quickly, and slamming it shut. They glanced back at Techno for any sort of answer on what he was doing (or why he was even in their house) but he just shrugged.

“You’re Eret.” Ranboo spoke up, a jitteriness still shining in his voice. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“It’s a new thing.” Techno voiced from behind them, gently loosening his grip on them until they completely moved away with a thankful glance his way.

“Did you need anything, Ranboo?” Phil called from another room, tiredly walking out to lean against the doorframe. How long was the elytrian up just waiting for them to wake up or for the two of them to come home for that matter? He could’ve slept.

“Ah, no, uhm, erm. I don’t think so-” He went to nervously open the book again but Tommy spoke up for him.

“We were talking about the epic kidnapping we did and he just followed us home.”

“You did what?” Eret cut in, gaze dancing amongst the three of them for any of them to explain.

“Were you just not listening to me at all? For fucks sake I told you the whole thing.” 

“I was half-asleep, I don’t know how you didn’t notice.”

He glared at them, nowhere near as harsh as it used to be, finally more light-hearted than anything. “Get your ears checked. Old as fuck.”

They glared back at him for that one.

“We basically we ran into Connor on accident-“

“You did, but continue.” Techno interrupted with a cough, smirking when Tommy just scowled harder at the two of them.

“WE DID, but then WE got the great idea to kidnap him for ransom money, aka Techno’s shit.”

That explained the messages from earlier.

They glanced towards Techno for any further details, watching as he slipped out his sword from its sheath. “I wanted my trident but they wouldn’t hand it over.” He annoyedly grumbled, a hand skimming over the very appropriate engraving of ‘orphan obliterator’ across the hilt of the sword.

“At least you don’t have to kill everything with just a pickaxe anymore.” They tried to reassure but he just rolled his eyes. When they looked back towards the other three, they instantly took in how uncomfortable Ranboo looked to be standing there.

“I should probably get back…Tubbo might be looking for me.” Ranboo spoke up hesitantly as he tapped against the book in his hands, hunched over to avoid hitting the ceiling. “It was nice to meet you again.” He continued with a small wave towards Eret’s direction.

He was Tubbo’s Secretary of State, wasn’t he?”

The mere mention of their brother almost suffocated their thoughts with racing questions. How was he handling the new presidency? Was he alright? Did anything happen? Did he hate them for leaving him behind _again_? But they held it in.

Their scrutinising gaze never rested. Obviously Techno and Phil had to trust the kid to allow him anywhere near their base, but something still pinged them as wrong and they weren’t about to imply anything that could be considered blackmail around him.

It was hard to tell anymore if their distrustfulness really was them or if it was Dream still pulling the strings from behind the scenes. Nothing should be wrong with their interactions, so why were they so uncomfortable with him?

They never seemed to want to trust anyone after the sprinkle of lies Dream would whisper into their ear, hardwiring a constant air of alarm in them around others they didn’t know.

“The same to you.” Eret replied back almost robotically, but Ranboo didn’t seem to care, seemingly pleased enough that they had given him any time of day.

They waved back weakly, keeping up the facade as he went to leave, watching as he waved towards the others meekly before stepping outside into the frozen tundra.

They let out a low sigh as the door closed behind him. If anyone else noticed their discomfort around him, they didn’t mention it, just continuing the motions of getting ready for a night’s rest.

Well, they thought so at least, but they caught how Technoblade’s stern gaze seemed to linger towards them afterwards.

“Any plans for getting your trident?” Eret whispered to him as Phil was busy scolding Tommy a few rooms away on being hydrated and making sure to bring food for when they go out for longer than planned. Apparently the kid had left without anything supply-wise.

“None right now. Skeppy supposedly has it.”

They’d say they’d talk to Bad about it but they weren’t too sure they wanted to talk to anyone outside of the household and Sapnap, Niki, or Tubbo.

Instead, they just nodded along. They would’ve kept the conversation going but the piglin looked utterly exhausted, even if they knew he had gotten more sleep the prior night. His under eyes were clear telltales signs of mountains of sleepless nights.

“You should go lay down.”

“Hmph.”

“I’m serious, it’ll get Phil off your back too.”

He looked like he wanted to retort, or mention something (probably the fact that they just stared down a child who was just trying to greet them), but he didn’t. He did however, mutter how stupid the concept of sleep was, before turning on his heels towards the basment steps.

They were really hoping he was actually going to sleep and that it wasn't just another office for him to spend the whole night preparing and planning potential war crimes in.

A yawn erupted from their mouth and interrupted their thoughts, sleepily still trying to rub at their tired eyes. Fatigue was hell, why couldn’t they just get proper rest for once in their life?

Going to reclaim their spot on the couch, they flopped on the cushions with a light hum. They were truly hoping they had gotten through the worst of the fever during their sleep, they were definitely not in the mood to handle another session of throwing up.

As they went to relax, they could vaguely notice the light glow of someone passing outside. Within seconds and before they could question it, Ghostbur floated his way through the closed front door, belining to their side almost instantly as everyone else had left.

“Eret!”

“Hey Ghostbur, what were you doing outside?” They greeted quietly as they propped themself up on one of their hands.

“Walking Friend, they like to go out at weird times. Oh! I didn’t tell you but Friend is like you! I use different pronouns for him.”

Eret couldn’t help but smile warmly, letting few laughs escape their lips as they thought it over. Never once did they think they’d be sharing a gender identity with a blue sheep a ghost had adopted as a pet.

He was staring at them puzzledly at their reaction which only made them chuckle harder.

“That’s great, Ghostbur, really great, but I’m going back to sleep right now, if you need anything let me know.”

“Oh…alright, I’ll go check on Techno then. He’s normally up around now!”

Before they could try to stop him, he zipped through the wooden planks coating the floor to the basement. There went their plans for the piglin to actually sleep for once.

He also really needed to stop doing that, it was starting to freak them out how undetected he could be.

With the apparition gone, that left them with nothing but the deafening silence of their own thoughts and the quiet buzzing of mobs outside. It wasn’t that bad, the fogginess of their exhaustion forced their thoughts to quiet down enough to allow them to lay down.

They weakly dragged the few woollen blankets they could get their hands on and flipped them over their body, pulling it up to their shoulders as they laid onto their side.

Maybe being sick wasn’t all that bad, it made them pass out with ease into a dead sleep.

The next time they woke, it was from being prodded awake with a gentle shake of their shoulders. Hazily, they thought it could only be Phil waking them up for the day, and they were right but for the wrong reason.

“Morning Eret, gotta get up. Techno, Ghostbur, and I are going out for the day. Tommy’s going to stay home with you.” Phil was softly talking down to them, levelling with them as he crouched down beside their arm.

“Are you trying to kill me?” They muffled out from underneath the blankets, blinking away the night’s rest as they took their sunglasses back with a free hand from Phil’s grip.

“I swear it won’t be that bad, it’s just till the midafternoon. We need a lot more ghast tears and Tech wants to mine a bit more.”

“Why can’t he go with you?”

“He’s…having a rough day, and I don’t like the idea of leaving you alone when Dream knows where we live, especially not when you’re sick.”

“‘M not sick.” Eret mumbled, gently trying to swat away his hand when he instantly went to double check their temperature, ignoring their weak attempts as he thumbed over their bits of exposed forehead.

“You’re still a little warm but I think the worst is over with.” He agreed, pulling his hand away before they tried to actually hit it away.

“If anything goes wrong, message me immediately. No buts.”

They shimmied an arm out of the cocoon of blankets and stuck a thumbs up, dropping their head back down against the cushions to go back to sleep.

Phil snorted but left them to it. They really thought they were going to get out having to be awake and present, until Techno came upstairs with an unreadable look and practically dragged them off the couch without a word. They had no way of winning underhandedly and just accepted their fate as he helped slide their sunglasses up for them as they got pulled off the edge of the couch.

“It’s too early for this shit.” They grumbled when they finally got him to let go, with them being dragged to the floor at this point.

“It’s noon.”

“Still too early.”

He flicked them in the back of the head as he went to go slip his boots on, already in his full set of armour. Phil was close behind, waving at them as he pulled a heavily lined cloak over his shoulders, wings hidden neatly underneath it.

“Please keep Tommy from killing someone.” Phil hummed as he slid his sword into its resting place against his hip. It was only then that they noticed how tense it seemed between the piglin and his father. Squinting, they could make out how stressed the older one looked. What happened?

Wait what was that about murder-

“...I’m the only one he could-“

“Would you look at the time, Phil, I think it’s about time we get outta here.” The piglin interrupted blankly as he yanked Phil in front of him as he pulled the front door open.

“I hate you both!” Eret called loudly as he went to slam the door shut behind him, only hearing slightly muffled laughter from beyond the walls of the house. Whining into the palms of their hands over having to be awake already.

Didn’t he mention Tommy was upset already? It was strange he was just leaving them behind to try to comfort _his_ son when they could’ve gone out mining with Techno instead. Or at least the three of them stay home, they knew how solitary Techno could be, he wouldn’t have minded it.

Were they missing something?

Frowning, they heaved themself up and onto their feet, wavering in their step for a second as they readjusted to the tilt of the room.

Should they check up on him? He hated them.

Sure, their interactions have gotten better and less at each other’s throats, but it was still tense.

But…If he was upset they weren’t about to just ignore the kid.

Hesitantly, they started towards the basement steps, pulling the sides of their green cardigan closer to themself as the chill from poor ventilation set in. Their white dress sloshed back and forth against their ankles as they stepped down the freezing stone-brick flooring.

It was the first time they’d ever been down there. They weren’t completely sure what they were expecting but a makeshift mess of a bed of blankets and chests lining almost every inch of the walls wasn’t it. They really needed to talk to them about their choices in interior design.

Eret could guess it was Techno’s room since Tommy wasn’t there, a ping of guilt hitting them that they had basically forced the piglin to move down here. It didn’t even really look like a bedroom, just a storage closet if anything. They’d need to talk to him about it later.

Squinting in the far corner, they could make out what looked to be a trap door. How far down did their house go?

Squatting down by the wooden platform, they nervously knocked twice, loud enough to hopefully be heard by him if he was awake.

“Tommy? It’s Eret.” They called down before sliding the layer of wood up from its resting place and peered down the ladder. “I’m coming down, scream if you want me to go away.”

He didn’t yell but they did hear the distant sounds of someone shuffling around so he must’ve heard them.

Well, here goes nothing.

They grasped the side of the ladder with one hand and held the edge of their dress down with the other as they made their way down.

The room was about as Tommyinnit as it could get.

A scatter of clothes in some sort of pile in the corner of the room and plates stacked up on a desk nearby. A glistering compass was laying neatly across the desk from what they could see.

Huddled in the far corner of the bed was the boy himself. Blankets layered over his legs in a heap, but they didn’t cover something they could instantly notice.

He was wearing Wilbur’s coat.

The one he had taken up on after being exiled. The old worn-out brown coat that had been scorched from the explosions. Singed edges flaring out from the holes littering the poor jacket.

“Hey…Phil and Techno are out for the day so it’s just us here.” They started with a gentle voice. They couldn’t help but compare it to the multiple times they’d talk to Tubbo after he’d wake up from a nightmare.

He nodded, sniffling quietly as he completely tried to avoid their gaze. From the light glance he originally greeted them with, they could tell he had been crying. Red and puffy undereyes framing his tired face.

They were unsure what to do. A flash of annoyance flickering over their mind over why on earth Phil would leave them home alone with him like this.

Delicately, they took a step towards him, but he didn’t seem to react, so they took another one and another one until they could sit lightly against the edge of the bed.

“Everything alright?”

“Fine.” He stubbornly grumbled out as he wiped away the stray dried tears from his eyes.

It was an obvious lie but they let it go.

Their eyes couldn’t help but dance over the clear and utter damage down to the coat. It was slit down the sleeves slightly, whenever he shuffled in his seat they could slightly make out a very long gash down the back. It was a miracle he was even still able to wear the poor thing.

“I can help fix that, _his_ coat I mean.” Eret suggested before they could stop themself, watching nervously as a mix of emotions flashed across the younger one’s face at the mere proposition. “Only if you’d want to, of course.” They hastily added on, not trying to overstep any boundaries with the kid.

They had only just gotten him to not utterly despise them, they weren’t about to test their luck.

“Like, sewing?” Tommy unusually quietly asked back, almost whispering as he fumbled with the too long sleeves.

They nodded, mainly pointing towards the lengthy tear in the back that was splitting down the seams.

They both knew what that was from.

He looked torn over the idea, glazed over eyes watching as he, himself, slipped the heavy coat off his shoulders as stared down at the innocent looking slits with such a pained expression.

“Yeah, yeah we can do that.” He finally answered, carefully and with overwhelming apprehension handing it out for them to take.

It felt like he had just opened up a part to them, something they hadn’t seen since the early days of L’manberg when the boy had loved talking to them about everything and anything.

“If you fuck this up I am killing you myself.”

There’s the Tommy they knew and loved.

“Got it.” They laughed, gently taking the jacket from his hands and placing it down the bed besides them. They had basic sewing knowledge, but they weren’t about to admit to him that the last time they actually sewed was when working on their original uniforms. It was simple enough, just a lot of work that they weren’t sure Tommy was willing to let them have, looking scared enough to be without it, in the hands of a traitor no less, as it was.

“Do you think _he’d_ like it if the threads were blue?” They more softly asked.

“What, for Ghostbur? That fucker doesn’t even remember why it’s important! He doesn’t-“ His voice cracked and he froze up immediately. Tears stinged against his undereyes, very clearly holding back a mountain of emotions at the mention of his former brother.

“We don’t have to, it was just a suggestion. We can make it whatever you want it to be.” Eret tried to comfort him, raising a hand to set it gently on his shoulder but he flinched away stubbornly. He stated at them with such wide eyes like he was afraid they were going to hurt him before they morphed into ones of thought.

“...Can we make them the flag colours?”

“Of course.” They softened. “Think Phil has any thread and needles around here?”

He blinked, looking at them owlishly as if to say ‘how the fuck am I supposed to know’, so they shrugged the blankets trying to cling to them away and got to their feet.

“Looks like we have no choice but to ransack the house.” They sighed dramatically, grinning when he matched their look with a devilish smirk.

“This is what Phil gets for making me stay home with you of all people.”

They didn’t try to argue with that, they weren’t sure why he ever thought pairing the two of them up for a day was a good idea. _~~Nor why he thought leaving his upset son home alone with someone he hated was a good idea either~~_

It was an adventure to find anything to use as stitching, searching through the chests that neither of them had really looked through before. Not sure if this was going to get them in trouble later for trashing the organisation.

It eventually took Eret asking Edward in Phil’s room if he had seen any, which freaked Tommy out immensely, for them to find any. It also led them to having to explain why they knew the Ender language to him.

“So what, you’re like related to Endermen?”

“More like they’re second or third cousins. Blood related? No. But they do show up at family gatherings.”

“That’s so fucking weird, what the hell.”

They stifled a laugh as they pulled out different coloured strings from one of the chests, picking apart the red, white, blue, and yellow colours they had gathered, getting thrown black thread at by Tommy soon after.

They were ready to go, getting almost dragged along by the edge of their cardigan sleeve by Tommy to go work on the stitching in the living room. It was surprisingly calm in the house. They were expecting an argument by now and they were certain Tommy was thinking the same thing. Maybe Phil did have good intentions with this, minus the horrible parenting technique, it seemed to be helping them bond ever so slightly.

Eret pulled the jacket towards themself the moment they could sit down, trying to work past the impatient look Tommy was sending them. It totally wasn’t making the whole situation stressful for them, no never.

They knew they had to get it right, fully believing that Tommy would threaten their three lives if they messed up at all. So to have the kid practically breathing down their neck before they even got situated was annoying already.

“You could give me some space, you know? I have a needle in my hand.”

He scoffed but surprisingly listened, scooting away to watch them with peering eyes from a distance.

With that out of the way, they started on the smaller areas first, definitely less noticeable if they were to mess up. It was hard to try to incorporate the five colours into each repair but they weren’t about to back down. They were trying to do something good, a chance to repair something they caused, and if that’s how Tommy wanted it done then they weren’t going to question it.

Tommy could occasionally chime in with what colour he wanted them to use next and they’d always listen or mention possible ideas for him to review.

Most of the damages to the jackets were minor, the only major being the gash down the back that’d take the longest to fix. The closer they got to it, the more consideration they took into Tommy’s opinion on things. They even tried to give an example of different stitchings they could do if he wanted them to do something different.

“Niki has the other part to this, doesn’t she?” Eret asked, noting that the dark shawl was missing from around the shoulders.

“Yeah, she wanted it for some reason.”

“No one ever told her about Wilbur, did they?” They continued, expression darkening at the realisation.

“Phil wanted to be the one to but I guess he never got to it.” Tommy replied almost snappily with resentment rising up in his tone. “He was too busy focusing on his other son than us. Didn’t give a shit enough to fucking talk to me about it after. I had to find out through Techno what actually happened up there.”

“His control room, you mean?”

“Yeah. He didn’t say shit to me after it, just went off to go live with Technoblade instead of asking if oh, I don’t know, if his other son was coping alright. A total dick move if you ask me.” He held in another wave of tears, breaking eye contact with them to furiously rub at his eyes.

“I think he was coping in his own way, just avoiding addressing it. It wasn’t right though, what he did.”

“I don’t care anymore, he’s been alright lately, _I guess_.”

It definitely sounded like he cared still but they didn’t press him more about it.

Tommy was increasingly looking like he was either about to stomp out of the house or cry, and they had no idea how to handle either option.

“Is…there anything you want to talk about?” They tried to prompt, pausing in their stitching to give their hands a break.

“Not with you.” He huffed with his head up in the air to peer down at them scornfully. They set their hands up in defence, mumbling that they were just trying to help.

After a few more minutes of straight silence from both parties, he finally broke.

“...It’s been hard to pretend like, oh we’re just some happy family, when neither of them want to own up to their fucking mistakes.” Tommy more quietly spoke up, volume still rising near the end as his anger snuck in.

“Have you tried to talk to them about it?” Eret asked hesitantly.

“They avoid the subject like I’m going to kill them if they talk about it. Annoying as hell to talk to them about anything.”

“I can try to say something. Techno seems to listen to me and Phil definitely does, it might help some conversations happen.”

“Not a fucking shocker, traitors stick together-“

They looked away and he noticed. Mumbling out a slight apology so low that it was almost undetectable.

“...Can you talk to them? He never listens to me. He just sees me as some spoiled child.”

Eret nodded, lips perking up when Tommy seemed to genuinely relax at that. Going back to watching them work quietly, only talking when he wanted to add his opinion on the colours again. Well, that was until his mood seemed to shift again to something more saddening.

“Do you think Wilbur would like that we’re doing this?” He suddenly asked, seemingly a question he had been waiting to ask the entire time.

“To me, I see it as a sign that everyone can move on and I think he’d see it the same way. I truly believe he’d be proud of you.”

“He better be.” He muttered, thumbing over the edges of the sleeves. So far, they had been only lightly talking about upsetting things and they were certain it wasn’t helping him outside of giving him some sort of place to vent. They decided to switch the conversation around, more light hearted to raise his mood.

“Did he ever tell you how I found out he was a hybrid by accident? I walked in on him when he had his beanie off and ended up dyeing his hair for him.” Eret mentioned as they got to the final gash of repair down the back of the coat. 

“What the fuck, no?!”

“I’m serious, it was right before the battles started.”

He looked at them as if he was waiting for them to continue so they set the needle and thread down to further explain, mood perking up slightly at the memory.

Even if not all of it was good.

“It was during the night, I think the rest of you had gone to sleep but I had to check in with Wilbur on something, a discrepancy in our number of supplies I believe. He never took his beanie off around us so I never had any reason to assume he was a hybrid but he had it off when I walked in. Turns out he has pink hair and I never knew.”

“You know Techno and him are twins, right?”

“It’s pretty hard to not notice.”

And that was the truth, outside of the visible differences of Wilbur clearly trying to hide his hybrid status, the moment they had gone to greet the Blade for his tour of the SMP, it made them pause and doubletake at the blatant similarities.

Memories of the whole event dug at the corners of their mind. Blinking away Tommy’s eager look for them to keep talking, they watched as the familiar scene set the stage in front of them.

_“Need any help there, Soot?”_

_Wilbur snapped his head towards their general direction, uneasiness looming around his shoulders at their unheard entry._

_“Eret?” He called into the darkness, watching they took strides into the light with a small playful salute, a smirk rising across their face at his sudden breath of relief._

_“Your roots are pink.” They had commented curiously, watching as he hurriedly went to cover them up from view. “I’m assuming you dye them brown?”_

_He nodded, an embarrassed tinge spreading across his cheeks. “I’m sure you’ve heard of nether hybrids?”_

_“Yes, of course.” They had held in the full truth. It wasn’t the time nor the place to reveal themself. There was still a discrepancy amongst hybrids on their views of those considered ‘boss’ hybrids. The highest on the totem pole. Those considered the strongest in an almost royalty-like bloodline._

_Not many hybrids liked the idea of them being the highest in a hierarchy. And they did have to agree, they saw themself no different than others when it came to the struggles of hybrids in a vastly human world._

_“Piglin.” He huffed, gesturing to the strands of pale pinks rooting out from the base of his wild curls. Folded over ears flopped out from being hidden underneath his constantly worn (and now worn-out) beanie._

_“Need any help redyeing? I can assume you wouldn’t want that shown during your next speech.”_

_“You’re making this sound like blackmail, Eret.”_

_They slipped their gloved hands up in mock surrender, a gentle smile washed across their face. “I’m just offering a hand, I’ve had some practice before.”_

_“Really?” He snorted, looking down at their own soft curls with an amused look, searching for any sign of blotched dyeing._

_“Not mine, an old friend used to dye her hair pink and I’d help.” They admitted with ease, eyes softening at the memory._

_“Do you just know how to do everything?”_

_“Of course.” They choked out a laugh when he lightly jabbed them in the shoulder for that._

_“Hurry up then, we don’t have all night. Those walls need more reinforcement.”_

_Oh they knew, they knew because they were the only one working on the damned thing._

_They held back from snapping at the mention of it, taking a second to recompose themself as he went to sort through the small amounts of chests he had in his room._

_It wasn’t like they had much room in the small cabin bunks they were stuck in for anything else. Most of them had to start sharing rooms in the already cramped areas, couldn’t say it was the best. Unsurprisingly, Wilbur had become the only one with a single room, but even then it wasn’t the best living conditions. There was barely room to have more than two or three people in the room total._

_It was a good thing **they** would give them a solace to seek refuge in when L’manberg was too much. They hated sleeping here. It made them feel guilty._

_Wilbur was mixing away at an attempt to make makeshift hair dye. It was a shock he still had supplies for that when they were stuck with almost nothing else but they weren’t about to ask about it._

_Made them wonder how much their dear President kept behind wraps from them._

_They watched him crush a few more cocoa beans into a bowl with some sort of paste before mixing it a final time to hand to them._

_He didn’t have a brush, meaning he was expecting them to just use their hands._

_In any other case, this would fine, but they had been masking the entire day and it honestly was exhausting on their body to keep up the image of being nothing more than human for hours on end._

_With a small wince, they could feel the discolouration covering their skin melt away to nothing but inkiness hiding underneath the tips of their fingernails._

_“You alright?” Wilbur questioned, a slight bit of concern inching its way into his voice._

_“Fine.” They replied curtly, shaking the rough gloves off their hands as they took the bowl from his hands. “Let’s get to work.” They hummed with a strained smile._

_He didn’t question them further, ~~he never did~~ , and they didn’t try to explain anymore. He took a seat and they leveled behind him, running a bruised hand through the thick curls and parting them along the way._

They stopped explaining up to this point but the memory continued, they couldn’t stop themself from thinking about it.

_“How’s our food rations?” He queried, a light-hearted fondness still evident in his voice._

_“Decent, Tommy keeps sneaking in for bread though, I have to tell him off almost every night at this point.”_

_“I’ll talk to him. He keeps goofing off when I give him simple tasks, he has no reason to have more than us.”_

_“It seems like that’s all he does lately.” They took a chunk of the pasty brown substance and smeared it across the beginnings of his hair._

_“He’s been taking care of Tubbo and Fundy. That’s about it.” He laughed, they didn’t._

_“You know, those walls might be coming up faster if you just employed some of the others.” They couldn’t help but cut in with a sharply leveled-tone. The reminder that they were practically the only one actually working towards victory set them off everytime._

_His shoulders faltered, they knew they had struck a nerve. It was obvious he was catering to the boys and his own son’s needs and wishes rather than his own or theirs. Anyone could tell he favoured them over the needs of the adults, and although they couldn’t blame him for some favouritism, it was now a problem._

_“You’ve seen Tommy’s house, he couldn’t build a wall to save his life.” He weakly tried to joke._

_They couldn’t argue with that, the dirt shack was horrendous to look at._

_“I know it’s a lot of work, Eret, and it’s not fair, but they need us to keep them safe.” He continued more seriously, a hint of pride smeared across his words as if they were doing a great duty no one else could do._

_“I know.” They almost whispered, guilt riding across their voice for even trying to question his leadership._

That was the closest they ever got to an apology from the man.

Tommy was starting to look at them weirdly when they visibly swallowed their guilt away with glazed over eyes.

_They were able to fall into a small conversation after the awkwardness passed at the admission. It was nice to just relax with him. It wasn’t often they could talk, especially not on their own._

_“You know you don’t have to hide your hybrid status from us, right?” Eret had hummed as they finished off the colouring job, washing their hands in a simple iron bucket of water as he leaned back to stretch. “It’d probably make your son feel better, he’s the only one who’s been open about it.”_

_“There are some things you just don’t want the public to know.” He replied with a small sigh. Oh they knew, they knew that well. They were never open either, but it was an important point they wanted to make._

_“It might help others, those who are uncomfortable with their own status. A hybrid leader is something to be reckoned with, a piglin no less.” They continued, voice wavering at ‘others’. It was undoubtedly becoming obvious to their friend that they were also a hybrid, although it was never discussed what they were._

_His analytical skills rivalled theirs, so much that it was praise worthy. He was a smart man, something they knew well. He probably knew they were a wither hybrid since the evening they joined the scrawny battalion. From how their sunglasses would never leave their place perched up on their nose. The way they avoided showing skin even in the drenching heat. How they almost screamed in agony when their sunglasses slid down slightly on a particularly sunny day. It was obvious signs to them, signs that definitely had been picked up on._

_“I know. Maybe you’re right, it’s something to consider for sure.”_

_“You know I’m always right.” They sing-songly hummed as they slipped their gloves back on, nearly avoiding getting hit by something Wilbur threw right at them._

_“It takes an awful amount of trust to get me to show this to people, you should be kissing the ground where I step for this.” He huffed. They were starting to notice the family resemblance. Entitlement._

_“You trust me?” They echoed, almost shocked. They were close, sure, but they always felt as if the other was wary of them at all times. Were they just trying to justify their **choice**?_

_“Wha, of course I trust you. If Tommy wasn’t my idiot of a brother, you’d be my right hand man.” He admitted with ease, a loopy smile on his face._

_They could feel their heart swell in pain at the admission. A glimmer of regret flashing across their veiled eyes as they kept eye contact with their friend._

_“Right…right, of course. Thank you, Wilbur, really.” Their voice was soft and almost broke as they spoke but they held it in._

_They didn’t want to be suspicious. They weren’t normally one to be visually emotional, god knows what would have happened if they had just cracked right then and there and told him the truth._

They could’ve changed their fate. They could’ve admitted their traitorous ways and saved them from the Control Room, but they kept it in.

Tommy was going off of what they said, saying something about how Wilbur was always ashamed of his background, but their mind was elsewhere.

_They could feel their crossed fingers burn against their skin like hot glass as they blinked against the tears that threatened to fall._

_Wilbur had invited them to talk more, having softened up throughout the night on their work hours. They declined, it was obvious he was confused why, but they claimed the walls and supplies were more important in the long run._

_He has been proud of them. Putting their **work** first._

_Right, right, that was the reason. It wasn’t as if they had a meeting to attend. A series of meetings they wish they stopped going to._

_They had cried the moment they met a familiar blaze’s shoulder, sobbing into his shoulder as he reassured them over and over again that they were making the right choice._

_It never seemed to feel like it. It-_

“He hated that he was a hybrid. Not fair at all, I’d kill to have cool powers like that.” Tommy huffed as they blinked away the rest of the memory. Uneasiness clinging to them like a parasite as Tommy remained unaware.

“He didn’t like to be seen as weak, and that was something he considered a weakness.” They faintly spoke up.

“He’s from a whole family of hybrids! He’s just fucking stupid.”

“I don’t know, I can see his view point. I can’t exactly be known as a hybrid either and it’s not something I’m necessarily proud of. No one would’ve wanted me as king if they knew the truth.” They cleared their voice, wavering in clarity. “Wilbur’s real problem was that he was too ambitious and prideful, his fatal flaws really.” 

“We’re all ambitious, big man.” Tommy huffed, still thumbing over the patches on _his_ coat. A sad smile peeking over his face whenever he thought they weren’t looking.

“We are. You with your discs, Wilbur putting his full blind faith into the success of his presidency. Techno’s drive to bring down organised governments. We all have things to be ambitious about, he just…took things too far.”

“You left yourself out.”

Yeah, on purpose.

Eret flickered their gaze away from his ever overlooming look, looking almost defeated at the simple mention of their own flaws.

“I…am ambitious about my own success.” They almost silently admitted. It wasn’t a surprise to anyone, but verbally admitting it….hurt. It hurt to hear how selfish they really were. It hurt to say the truth. They kept out the unsaid _‘was’_ , it wasn’t like they had much evidence in their favour of them actually changing sides out of friendship instead who was winning the war. Tommy wouldn’t believe them if they said they chose Pogtopia out of guilt instead of the drive of winning.

“I’ve been saying that since day fucking one after our independence and Tubbo never believed me.”

“He didn’t want to, he forgave me too fast.” They agreed, the heaviness of their guilt pressing down on their shoulders as they almost cowered into themself.

Tommy didn’t try to dig at that further, thankfully getting the memo that the subject wasn’t good for either of them.

They slowly reached for the needle and thread, continuing stringing along the strands of blues and reds throughout the large tears amongst the jacket, stopping as Tommy occasionally would make them pause to test how it felt or looked before giving the okay to continue.

Eventually, it was done.

Tommy took it from their hands hastily, looking like he’d kill a man if they tried to pry that away from him. They wouldn’t ever try to, but they understood his fears.

When he put it on, it felt surreal. Like a strange alternate reality that they were stuck in.

But no, it was reality. Wilbur was dead and his brother was left to cope by picking up the pieces he had left behind.

Eret motioned for him to do a spin with a light grin spreading across their face. He snorted and shook his head but did it, spinning around in place dramatically.

“Wilbur could never.” They called out as they cheered him on with an array of woo’s and yeah’s.

“Damn right he couldn’t. I’m just better than him.”

He looked happy. Genuinely happy. A sunshine of a smile peeking over his face as he ran a hand over the worn leather sleeves. A burst of colours rose over his face when they started clapping with a laugh.

“Opinions, big man?”

“You look great. The colours were a good choice.”

And it was the truth, the twine of different shades stood out amongst the soot-lined and blackened brown coat but not in a bad way. It matched up with the bright hues of the original L’manberg flag patched across one of the sleeves.

He sat back down with a plop, pulling the jacket closer against himself as he did. He looked like he was going to ask them something else, pausing abruptly before trying to talk again.

“Has Techno mentioned any plans to you?” Cutting to the chase as always. “Like, the L’manberg plan.”

If he meant the one to utterly demolish it, then yes, yes he did.

Eret slowly nodded, glowing smile faltering at the mention and more serious switch in conversation.

If Tommy knew about it, that meant he must’ve proven his trust to him. They knew the very basic outline of what had happened yesterday. If committing a war crime was what got Technoblade to bring it up to them, they could only guess over what had fully happened yesterday.

“...What did you tell him?” He then asked, leg bouncing as he spoke.

“I haven’t given him an answer. He mentioned it a few days ago, I haven’t talked to him about it since.”

He looked relieved.

“He gave me this whole speech on how he wasn’t sure he trusted me then said I was worthy? Fucking weird as hell but he said I wasn’t ‘completely useless’ and ‘worth enough to be honest with.’ I just don’t get how his tiny ass brain thought to ask me of all people to help him blow up the country that _I_ built. That _we_ literally made from nothing!”

They couldn’t hold back a shudder at the use of ‘we’. They didn’t build that country. Tommy did. Wilbur did. Tubbo did. Fundy did.

Not them. They built the walls, sure. They repaired the caravan. They also lied to their faces.

They planted the seeds of distrust in Wilbur’s mind. Weaving the strings of fate in their favour. They shook the devil’s hand when they should’ve turned him away.

“To Techno,” They started, “L’manberg has been nothing but a problem. If you look at it from his perspective, is it really a surprise he wants it gone? It killed your brother, they tried to execute him, they put Phil under house arrest as far as I know, and they exiled you. I’m not agreeing with him, I don’t agree with his methods, but it shouldn’t be a shock. He wants your help because he thinks you think like him.”

“But I don’t.” He said bluntly and simply, eyebrows furrowed and creased in puzzlement.

“Tell him. Explain your side. He thinks you’re angry over the exile still.”

“I am. I fucking hate that Tubbo did that to me but…I don’t want him dead…That’s my best friend right there, president or not.”

“You need to tell him. Convince him to see your side. I have a feeling he’d listen.”

“Oh fuck off, don’t lie to me. He wouldn’t listen to me if it was my dying fucking wish. He never does!”

“Have you tried?” Eret almost instantly snapped back. The words flew out of their mouth before they could stop themself.

They thought maybe Tommy would storm out after that, but he stared at them with blank eyes, slowly shaking his head no before he let his head hang low.

“Listen…You don’t have to agree with him on anything. You don’t have to go along with the plan if you don’t want to. I haven’t even given him my answer, but listen to what I said. Talk to him. He might give up the plan if you two could just have a serious conversation for once.”

He let the room fall into a dangerous silence, avoiding their sorrowful gaze before seemingly looking like he was about to cry. They would’ve tried to reach out to him but he spoke up finally, getting the last word in.

“...y’know, you’re doing a pretty shit job at being comforting.”

They gaped for a few seconds, sputtering out an apology and stumbling over their words as he bursted out laughing at their reaction.

“I’m joking but your fucking face was priceless, oh god-“ He snorted again, wheezing when they started pouting.

Again, the family resemblance. Entitlement _and_ joking at the most inappropriate of times.

“I can’t believe you’ve done this. I thought you genuinely were mad at me for a second.”

“I mean, you’re still a bitch and a total pussy, but I’m not pissed off at you.”

…Were they supposed to feel relieved by that?

“Seriously though, I don’t trust you, Eret, at all. You literally fucked up my life. But I can tell you’re _trying_ to be all redeemed and shit now and that’s better than anyone else has been, so, you get my godly approval.”

They wanted to cry at that, happy tears at least.

“Don’t you fucking dare think this is all soft and shit, I’m just saying you aren’t as big of a bitch as Techno or Phil is.”

“...It’s pretty wholesome, not going to lie.”

“THAT'S IT, I TAKE IT BACK! I'M NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN!”

They couldn’t stop a laugh from escaping their lips as he went to storm off to the kitchen, calling to ask him if he wanted to get the poor sick person a glass of water, which he firmly flipped them off for.

“We have the whole day left, what do you want to do?” They then more seriously asked, wiping away at the stray tears that did actually manage to fall from their eyes.

“We could just leave.”

“I don’t think Phil would let me back in the house if I allowed that-“

He walked back out, jacket swinging relentlessly against the green bandana sitting neatly around his neck, and he was actually holding two glasses of water, already staring them down to not mention it.

“We’re playing uno again and I’m kicking your ass.”

“We’ll see about that one.”

He was completely ready to splash the water in their face but didn’t, handing it over begrudgingly as they smirked victoriously.

He left them to search for the game. They ended up having to play multiple games until they tied so they couldn’t argue anymore on who did better. (spoiler alert, they still argued)

The hours seemed to fly by with neither of them having to reach for their communicators to send out an SOS to Phil or Techno. They still argued, he still called them a traitor and them calling him a child, but it wasn’t a crime scene yet so they kept going.

They ended up missing the look of utter happiness on Phil’s face when they eventually came home to see the two fast asleep on the couch, with his son slumped against their shoulder in a pleasant sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Memory boi is finally here 👀👀👀  
> He isn’t the only character that’ll become more interactive in the story, we just haven’t gotten to the others yet :00  
> He will become a lot more important later on tho ;))
> 
> Also just like fun fact abt the heights for this story, they’re pretty much the same as canon but Techno is taller bc I wanted him to match Wilbur’s height & Ranboo is shorter bc I deadass cannot imagine someone being 8’5 okay- so it’s  
> Philza: 5’11  
> Tommy: 6’0  
> Eret & Dream: 6’3  
> Wilbur & Techno: 6’5  
> Ranboo: 7’2  
> If u guys haven’t seen my jokes abt eret’s platforms & heels, then lemme just say now that they’re canon in this story, they just don’t have them back yet :/ we’ll get super tall eret someday


	14. XIV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eret: *asks wither skeleton to politely hand over its skull*  
> The Wither Skeleton in question: *pops head off*  
> Techno: wh,,,what the fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys dhmu witheret being canon got denied  
> brb sobbing  
> i will never emotionally recover from this /hj  
> but y’know what we do? the same shit sbitwt did, ignore the parts of canon we don’t like 😌✨  
> herobrine!eret is v cool tho, i just have way too many headcanons & designs for witheret to give it up
> 
> WARNING  
> Emotional manipulation, gaslighting, mentioned eating disorder behaviour (for around two or three lines, it’s easy to skip)

__

> _Dream: Eret.  
>  The_Eret: Hello Dream, how have you been? :)  
> Dream: We need to talk.  
> You’re at your castle, correct?  
> The_Eret: Yes, I am.  
> Is this important?  
> Dream: You’ll see._

_His words did nothing to spare them from the swelling feeling of utter dread creaking up their spine in rushes. His phrasing was a dead giveaway. Something was wrong._

_It was always hard to tell by his messages whether that meant they had done something or if it was an issue caused by someone else. They had a slight feeling it wasn’t going to be the latter this time._

_They didn’t have much time but they couldn’t bring themself to move. They had already gone and hid all the supplies they had begun gathering to send off as a token of seer peace between the kingdom and Pogtopia. It was difficult to work around Dream’s inconsistent schedule, even with the distractions that his involvement gave them, but they had almost built up a hefty amount of spare diamonds and ancient debris to give to their former family. They could only hope their strides in redemption would be taken without conflict._

_Wilbur could and would kill them if he saw their face near his territory. It would be a rollercoaster to try and deliver them without him seeing them._

_God knows what would happen to them if Dream ever caught wind of them preparing to help the exiled group of former comrades. Or as he would put it, a ragtag group of mistakes._

_It was a risky situation. They could lose everything easily and swiftly…and yet they couldn’t stop themself from being the Icarus in this story. Flying towards the sweet promises of forgiveness in the shape of the sun, something that would eventually kill them._

_They had only minutes left before the so-called ‘talk’ but they knew Dream would take his sweet time to leave them in an agonising sense of overlooming anxiety. They were starting to think all that he did was on purpose. Their almost constant disagreements as of late do start from his inciting. It wouldn’t surprise them if he was just trying to rile them up for no reason._

_Their arguments were starting to become far too common for either of their sakes. It was a simple conflict of interests in a way._

_They wanted redemption, to look Wilbur in the eyes and not see an underlying burning hatred in his crimson irises. He wanted them to sit back and let the impending bloodbath between Wilbur and Schlatt take them both out. They wanted to save their friends from another war, he wanted them to stay as far away from the conflicts as possible._

_He kept saying it was to keep them safe but it was starting to look like they were just being used in a game of chess. Moving back and forth across the board to claim his success, not their own. For a piece that had the most freedom in terms of movement, a king, it seemed to always be the stark opposite for them._

_Skimming down the list of what they’ve done for the past few days, nothing came up that would set off any alarms. They had a meeting with Bad, that was it. Nothing happened in it that would’ve set Dream off._

_As much as it was comforting to think he could simply just genuinely be wanting to speak with them, they knew it was a lie._

_They also knew that Dream loved to bring up their past arguments far past their expiration date. It could’ve been something minor they had done months ago and he’d bring it up as if it was a massive issue and it was their fault._

_That really wasn’t helping their case in terms of calming down. It was impossible to tell his true intentions._

_Stuck frozen like a statue in fear wasn’t helping them either. It was what Dream wanted them to do. Be scared of him. They weren’t about to lose the last few ounces of his respect from seeing them behave so weakly and undignified._

_They had officially run out of time, they could only mess with their crown and change into something more regal before the distance telltale sounds of someone walking up their unforgiving stone stairs filled their eardrums._

_He was there. He was waiting for them._

_They rushed to meet him at the open gates with a fake plastered smile upon their face, waving as he took deliberate slow steps up the walkway._

_“Dream, it’s been a while.” They greeted him with faux warmth._

_“It has, it has. I’m sure you’ve been well?”_

_They knew better than to answer truthfully._

_“I have, how have you been? You seem to be more busy lately.” They kept out any mention as of why he was gone, they both knew they knew the truth._

_“Fine.” He curtly replied, ending the discussion right then and there. “Why don’t we go to your throne room, Eret?”_

_Alarms were ringing in their ears but they kept their composure, nodding faintly as they led the uneasy way towards the golden throne. Taking their rightful place upon the seat as he stood in front of them almost threateningly._

_“What is this about, Dream?” They dropped the act as they looked him wearily in the eyes as he slipped the smiley mask off from its constant place upon his face._

_Scarred skin and bloodthirsty green eyes met the reflective gaze of their sunglasses, narrowing as they made no move to join him in personalizing the conversation._

_“Take your sunglasses off.”_

_“No, I don’t think I will.”_

_He didn’t seem to like that, they didn’t necessarily care._

_His arms crossed, staring down at their unwavering expression. A frown upon his face matching theirs as they continued to refuse to give into his demands. Seconds felt like hours until he begrudgingly surrendered with a scoff of disbelief._

_They quickly realised the true reason he brought them to talk here. He could look down at them. Patronise and analyse their every move or flicker of expression._

_“Answer me this, Eret, as the king of the SMP, what do you think gives you power?” He voiced, phrased as innocently as stab to the chest. “Is it your crown?” He reached out and brushed a gentle hand against the smooth gemstones decorating and ordaining their royal status. “Is it the fact that you’re king?” His arm dropped and slacked to his side as he stared almost smugly down at them._

_“Those…who are given power, hold onto it.” They spoke up, tone shifting to be more gentle. ‘Given’ was a key word. Dream’s face almost lit up when they said it. As much as they hated admitting it, it was the truth, it had been so ‘graciously and gratefully’ handed down to them._

_“How?”_

_That threw them for a loop, unsure if he was searching for them to give him a certain answer or if it was genuinely open-ended. They told the truth instead of catering to his ego._

_“Respect. I believe that’s a big part.”_

_“Hmm…Sure, sure. Respect is important, but, if respect is the only thing keeping you from, say, a knife to the back,” His hand raised again but to easily slip the sunglasses off of their face, holding them lightly from the tips of his fingers and out of their reach as they flinched away from the light burning at their whited out irises, “respect is nothing, right?”_

_“What are you saying, Dream?” They held out, though their voice weakened as they winced when Dream let the pair of shades skirt across the ground with a simple flick of his wrist. They could feel the brink of tears burn and scrape at their ashened sclera but they blinked them away, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing them in pain._

_“Nothing.” He oh-so innocently put it, a light smile across his maimed face. “I’m just saying that you don’t have power because of your crown, you have it because of me. You only have power because of the protections that I give you, that this SMP gives you. Am I wrong?”_

_“You’re…not wrong.”_

_“Now, I’m not saying for you to do anything, I’m actually saying the opposite. You shouldn’t be doing anything. You are the king of the SMP, the face of this kingdom. This is a war that we are not involved in, and by getting involved or implying involvement, you are breaking our neutrality. We are neutral, you are neutral. You need to let Pogtopia and Manberg work it out and hopefully there will be neither afterwards.”_

_“So your plan is to hope that they cancel each other out and we reap the benefits?”_

_“That’s been my plan since the very beginning, before I even considered having you betray them, before L’manberg started. I wanted only the SMP, my SMP. That’s why I chose you to fight alongside me. That’s why I helped you betray them. Because I saw you as a neutral party.” He continued, talking down to them like they were a child struggling to grasp basic concepts. “You don’t push for power, you’re not very vengeful, you don’t hold grudges. You sit there and you look pretty and that’s it.”_

_That’s it?_

_Right, because they didn’t have an actual job. All those times they had to write his way out of a potential war because he decided to get involved didn’t happen or when they had to speak on his behalf to apologise to those he hurt from his own actions, that didn’t happen either. When his actions caused them to be hated by their own civilians. All of their strides to keep their kingdom a safe and happy place were thrown to the wayside because of course, they didn’t have any other role other than being a porcelain doll of a figurehead. Nothing more than a decoration in a lonely castle._

_He stared down at them expectedly, waiting for a response with a deadly look. They muttered out a ‘yes’, but of course he wasn’t going to let them get away with just that and made them repeat themself._

_“Right?”_

_“...Yes, sire.”_

_It was humiliating. Mortifying to even speak it. The way his voice remained so sickly sweet disgusted them. They didn’t want this, they wanted to go back to the time that they were actually friends. Not enemies on the same side of a war._

_A glimmer of pride shined in his eyes as he took a step back from them, watching them curiously when they clasped their hands together to keep their shaking from his prying view._

_“Remember where your power comes from. It doesn’t come from a pretty little crown, it comes from an axe and a shield. Bloodshed, bloodshed that you caused.”_

_A sore reminder of when their greed had outweighed their morality._

_“Of course.” They softly replied, the crown upon their head never felt so heavy as they tilted their head down in shame._

_He turned on his heel to leave but they caught him before he could, speaking up before they could stop themself._

_“You weren’t always like this…Dream, you’ve changed. You aren’t the Dream I knew.” They weren’t sure themself why they tried to reach out to him but it was their last chance. They knew the true reason for their conversation. He was going to have them step down, resign, dethroned. Whether it was willingly or not._

_He turned to look at them, eyes softening as he stopped himself from putting the mask back on. They really thought they had gotten through to him, a breath of utter relief and disbelief escaping their lips when he sadly smiled at them._

_He calmly and collectively walked towards the forgotten sunglasses on the floor, picking them up with ease as he took his time walking back towards them. He looked conflicted. They thought he was going to apologise._

_He unfolded the shades from their slightly broken and scratched up state, only inches away from their face when he perked the glasses over their nose and slid them up. They almost smiled thankfully at the gesture but they knew better than to trust the simple act of decency._

_And they were right to do so._

_“Eret, listen. We’ve always been friends, we’re still friends. I haven’t changed, you have. Your loyalty has changed. Your views change to fit your narrative. I haven’t changed at all, that’s all in your head. I do these things because you force my hand, you don’t listen to me and I can’t have you fucking things up for us.” His voice was soft but still held authority in his words, placing his hand over theirs in a gentle and reassuring squeeze before he turned to leave again._

_He made them second-guess themself. Were they really in the right? Was he telling the truth? Were they remembering things wrong?_

_“I’m sorry.” They stumbled out, and they had meant it._

_“I know.”_

Why did they believe him? Why did they take his words to heart? Why did they let him spin them around like a puppet on a string instead of fighting for their goddamn dignity?

They didn’t know, they wish they could go back and punch their past self for letting this go on for so long.

_They blinked tiredly as he left them in their seat, wiping away at their tearstained face, completely unaware of when the tears had managed to start falling. They could only guess that it was from the pain in their eyes. They were still stinging from the overexposure of light, wincing slightly whenever they tried to blink._

_Why couldn’t they just get along? It was starting to seem like they only did when they forced themself to be as passive as possible around him and never bring up anything that could possibly be their own opinion._

_Why?_

_why why why why why why why why why why why why- ___

__“Eret?”_ _

__Someone was calling out for them. Whispers from a far off place pierced their ears, their name being repeated over and over again to gauge their attention. The scene in front of them melted away into a pitch black nothingness as the murmurs continued. Only now they were getting louder and louder._ _

__“Eret, wake up.”_ _

__The voice was muddy, it was like they were underwater but they could swear they weren’t drowning. Only drowning in their fears._ _

__The sensations of someone lightly nudging their shoulders? arm? hit them hastily. They hummed tiredly as they tried to turn away from the attacks but the tapping never rested until their eyes fluttered open. They went to hide their eyes into the sleeves of their cardigan as they reached for their sunglasses instantly. The phantom pains in their eyes never resting, even in consciousness._ _

__Whoever had been talking to them got the memo and thumbled to help them get their sunglasses over their eyes._ _

___He_ did that too. _He_ did that too. It’s _him_. They could never escape _him_ -_ _

__“You were talking pretty loudly in your sleep.” The voice teased with a clear smear of smugness in their tone._ _

__Flickering their gaze swiftly in the direction the sound had come from, they squinted against the harsh lights to see Techno leaning over by their side. His glasses reflexed back the gaze of their own black shades, never more glad in their life that he couldn’t see the utter fear in their eyes as they adjusted slowly to what was reality and what wasn’t._ _

__They were fine. Dream wasn’t here. He couldn’t hurt them. At least that’s what they told themself._ _

__They snuck a hand up to nervously run their fingers through their hair that soon turned into rough tugs against the chunks of innocent curls to shake themself awake. A clear alarm to the piglin next to them that something was wrong._ _

__“...Do you need me to get Phil?” He asked more quietly, almost jolting away when they suddenly raised their free hand and grabbed onto his shoulder as if to test if he was really there._ _

__“No.” They softly muttered, still catching up to their quiet laboured breathing. “No, please don’t.” They whispered, slowly loosening their grip as their arm slacked back down onto their lap._ _

__“...What was it about?” He awkwardly tried to prompt them, taking a seat next to their stretched out legs._ _

__“Dream.” Eret replied simply, it was obvious anyway, almost nothing else would wake them up in a cold sweat like that. “It’s…funny in a way, it wasn’t distorted at all, it was just…memories. He, uhm, before dethroning me, we had this talk about what really gave me power.”_ _

__They felt uncomfortable just thinking about it, his wording was what got them everytime they thought about it._ _

__“He said I was supposed to just sit there and look pretty. As if that was my only job to him.”_ _

__“Yeah, that sounds like Dream.”_ _

__His utter bluntness also got them everytime and they hated it. Stifling a laugh as they glared half-heartedly at him as they continued. “It was stressful, I hate thinking about it. I knew the conversation was coming but it was still just as terrifying. I was alone with him. I couldn’t leave. He could’ve killed me and I wouldn’t have been able to do anything to stop him. Shit, he still could. He could kill me anytime he wanted to-“_ _

__“Hang on.” He raised a hand to pause on their anxious rambling. “You’re under our protection now. Trust me, he wouldn’t try to kill you as long as we’re allies. It’ll cause him way too many problems in the long run.” He reassured as if it was obvious and it just wasn’t clicking with them. Though, they supposed it was in a way. They had seen how Dream backed down the moment Techno told him that they were under the safety of the Arctic Empire._ _

__“I suppose so…”_ _

__“It doesn’t matter what he said, he’s homeless anyway,” They couldn’t hold in a laugh at that one and he knew it, continuing with a small smirk, “But either way it’s just lies. All he does is lie to people, that’s like, his whole thing. Being a manipulative narcissist with a superior complex.”_ _

__“Mm, you are right about that one. It is his whole brand at this point to be a prick.”_ _

__“Him and Narcissus would get along well.”_ _

__“Really?”_ _

__“Hang on.” He got up from his seat before they could question it. Leaving them behind to take in their surroundings as he went to scourge through the basement for something._ _

__It was light out, something they had noticed the moment they opened their eyes, definitely the morning. Across from where their feet stretched out to, they could see Tommy still fast asleep in a huddle of blankets and still wearing Wilbur’s jacket from yesterday. Wait a minute, did he steal their blankets?_ _

__If they didn’t think the movement would wake him up, they go and steal them back._ _

__Him being asleep gave them zero clue as to what time it actually was, seeing as no one else in the house seemed to have a normal sleep schedule outside of Phil, who wasn’t out and about outside the house as far as they knew._ _

__Distantly, they could hear water running from what they could guess was the shower, handing them confirmation that they at least knew Phil was there still._ _

__After a minute, Techno was back, but was holding a small bucket of hair supplies and a brush. They looked at him in confusion before he dropped the bucket in their lap and gently pulled their hand down from its place still stringing through their own strands of hair._ _

__“Have at it.” He hummed indifferently as he took a seat in front of them, pulling the rest of his hair back to lay against his back. “As long as you don’t cut my hair, we’re good.”_ _

__“You are giving me far too much power here.”_ _

__“Don’t make me regret saving your life.” He almost pleaded as he shot them a glance back, looking almost instantly like he was going to regret it when they just grinned wickedly back at him._ _

__They went about sectioning and brushing through his long hair as he flipped through a book they hadn’t even noticed he had brought back with him._ _

__“Narcissus basically ruined this girl’s life, Echo, because she fell in love with him and he rejected her because he thought he was ten times better than her. He apparently just straight up told her to leave him alone and she ended up dying and leaving behind her voice. Then Nemesis cursed him so when he looked in some pound, he fell in love with his own reflection because he was so selfish. Oh, yeah, Echo could only repeat things because some other goddess cursed her because she was in love with Narcissus.”_ _

__“That’s not very nice.” Eret hummed as they finished off a small braid, going to braid another one on the other side to connect the two._ _

__“Everyone in these myths were terrible people, this isn’t even the worst one.” He continued, flipping through another few pages as he hummed to himself silently. “If you take the Echo part out, the parallels that I am seeing are astounding. Are you telling me Dream wouldn’t fall in love with his own reflection?”_ _

__“He would. Actually, he definitely has.”_ _

__“I knew it.”_ _

__He continued reading to them quietly and comfortingly, skimming through the pages as they kept up with the braiding process, pulling the two completed strands back, and the rest of his hair, into a high ponytail. Still occasionally moving to lean in front of him to mess with the strands framing his face with a concentrated look._ _

__“You are taking this way too seriously.”_ _

__“I’m trying to make you look halfway decent here.”_ _

__“Wow.” He scoffed with a small laugh, shaking his head with a crooked smile when they glared at him for messing up their focus. “That was a low blow. You don’t even have eyes. I don’t know why you’re trying to talk.”_ _

__“I do have ‘eyes’, I just don’t have pupils.” They huffed, messing around with stray hair fibers near his glasses before they gave it a final okay before sitting back down with a proud smile._ _

__“Now you don’t have to worry about your hair getting stuck on things.”_ _

__He messed with the longer pieces framing his cheekbones as he nodded and grunted out his small thanks and stamp of approval._ _

__“Ever heard the full story of Theseus?” He then asked as leaned back to look at them, nearly knocking right into their sunglasses. Before they could respond ‘no’, seeing as they hadn’t even heard about it until the piglin’s dreaded speech during the Manberg war, the sound of someone opening a door caught their attention._ _

__“Morning boys!” Phil called as he towelled away his wet hair hitting his shoulders, dressed probably the most casually they’ve ever seen him._ _

__Techno waved as they glanced back at his approaching figure, gesturing with outstretched hands at their creation with his hair with a small, “ta-dah.”_ _

__He smiled warmly, ~~it wasn’t a lie this time~~ , but his gaze landed on them for a few seconds longer than they were expecting, self-consciously wondering if it was possible they actually looked like they had been up all night fighting against the creations of their own mind even with the sunglasses on._ _

__His look switched towards Tommy, face dropping slightly as he stood stuck on what they could only assume was from the jacket peeking out from the covers._ _

__“I saw what you did with the coat,” Phil spoke with such an unreadable tone it scared them for a second. He never had any other tone than condolence and concern with them, this was completely new. Was he mad? Should they have just kept it the way it was?_ _

__“Nice job on the stitching, he showed me last night.” He continued lightly, patting them faintly on shoulder with an almost pained expression. “I’m going to make breakfast, wake Tommy up.”_ _

__The moment he was out of earshot, Eret looked back over at Techno, a frown etching across their face as they whispered to him quietly. “Is he upset with me?”_ _

__He let out a low sigh, shaking his head ‘no’ as he turned to face them. “No, it’s just hard for him to look at it, y’know? Tommy keeps insisting on wearing it anyway, coping or whatever. That’s why we left so early yesterday.”_ _

__“But he’s fine with Ghostbur, isn’t he?”_ _

__In fact, they could hear the ghost trying to talk to him right now from the kitchen._ _

__“To an extent. He just keeps him around here because he’d feel guilty if he told him to leave. He was the only one of us who could visit during his house arrest so I doubt he fully hates him.”_ _

__They were sure if they asked Phil his opinion, they’d hear a _very_ different story. They were starting to wonder just how much they really knew about him from solely his own accounts._ _

__They nodded, moving the rest of the hair supplies to sit on the ground. When they looked back up, they stumbled over their words when they saw Techno hiking up a pillow to throw directly at Tommy’s sleeping figure, trying to hold themself back from laughing when he just grinned at their reaction._ _

__“Do you want to go wither skull hunting after breakfast?” He bluntly asked as he readied up to throw._ _

__“What?” They coughed out between giggles._ _

__“You. Me. Wither skull hunting. After eating breakfast. How much clearer do I have to be?”_ _

__They rolled their eyes but agreed, watching as he instantly shot the throw pillow across the room, hitting him dead-on with clear aim at his face._ _

__They took a mental note to never let themself get on his bad side if he had his crossbow on him. His aim was deadly._ _

__No one reacted for a few seconds, watching as Tommy shuffled around in confusion after being knocked into the consciousness, before realisation seemed to hit him. Twice, that is._ _

__“You bitch-“ He muffled out as he lifted his head to their snickering, glaring daggers at them as he pulled himself to sit upright._ _

__“It was funny, you can’t lie about that.” The piglin replied with a wide smirk._ _

__“Yeah, well, you’re an asshole. I need my beauty sleep, dickhead.”_ _

__“Clearly-“_ _

__“Phil’s making breakfast.” Eret interrupted before an argument could break out, holding a hand out between the two of them. “He wanted us to wake you.”_ _

__“He’s making breakfast?! You should’ve said that first, dumbass!” He almost jumped to his feet, quickly sprinting towards the kitchen as he yelled asking what he was making._ _

__“That was surprisingly easy.”_ _

__“He gets distracted way too easily.” He corrected as he leaned back against the cushions of the couch._ _

__They barely had a few seconds of peace before he came running back to ask if they wanted eggs before running the way back. How he had so much energy in the morning was beyond them._ _

__Still, they wanted to fill up the silence that had set in._ _

__“So what were you saying about that Theseus story?”_ _

__He looked happy to talk about it, one of the few subjects they had picked up on that he seemed to genuinely enjoy talking about. Making another mental note to mention it more around him._ _

__“So there was this Minotaur attacking his city, right? And he volunteered to slay it. He ended up actually killing the beast and ruled over his city until they kicked him out. Something about kidnapping someone’s wife, I don’t know. But he died alone after getting betrayed.”_ _

__“I see you were right about the terrible people part.”_ _

__“None of them were saints, Eret, absolutely none.”_ _

__“Oh! Theseus is what you call Tommy, right?” Ghostbur said as he floated in the room, startling them both without any warning. His utter lack of footsteps scared them every time he randomly appeared._ _

__“Yeah, there are yet again, way too many ‘coincidental’ parallels between the two.”_ _

__“...Didn’t you say before that Theseus died because his friend that he was staying with killed him by pushing him off a cliff?” They could swear they could almost see the clogs in his head moving and trying to sort themselves in his bemusement._ _

__“We don’t need to talk about that part, Ghostbur. It doesn’t matter.”_ _

__“But-“_ _

__“No.”_ _

__And it got left at that, with the ghost giving up with a small frown before perking up again to tell them breakfast was almost done. Seemingly already having forgotten the conversation had even occurred._ _

__The so-called ‘connection’ he spoke of weighed heavy on their mind, unnerving them faintly on what it could mean for them. It could be technically referring to any of them possibly betraying him. The idea of that made it worse._ _

__They already made that mistake and paid the price, they weren’t about to do it again. They couldn’t allow themself to let him suffer again._ _

__They wouldn’t let anyone else make their same mistake either._ _

__Shoving their worries off for another day, they went to help Phil set the table as he called them over. The differences between their last formal meal there and now were becoming increasingly obvious. Tommy wasn’t on the verge of kicking them out and it wasn’t tense. They actually talked, which very visibly took Phil a few seconds to adjust to, clearly expecting an argument to happen rather than just playful bantering. They also noticed how half way through the meal, he started taking bits and pieces off their plate when they started to look like they were going to be sick if they tried to eat more._ _

__They were certain he knew what was going on, spiking a wave of anxiety as they messed with the silverware in their hand. Neither of them addressed it outright, but they saw the glint of recognition and concern shine over his eyes when they started pushing a pile of eggs around the plate without taking a bite._ _

__He motioned for them to eat more, they attempted to listen._ _

__“We’re going wither skull hunting.” Techno had mentioned as they started to clean up, flicking a hand in their direction. Tommy seemed to freeze up the moment he said it, watching him in a concern-filled gaze as he got to his feet hastily with his plate in hand._ _

__“Tech, we really don’t need any more of those. You have like two stacks, mate.” Phil reminded him, glancing their way for confirmation that they were actually agreeing to this and weren’t just being dragged along. They did suppose it looked weird for them of all people to agree to join him for that._ _

__“You can never be overprepared for _war_ , Phil.”_ _

__“It gets me out of the house.” Eret gently added, knowing fully well that would definitely work to get him off their back. He seemed to relax at their words, something they were starting to notice their voice had an effect in doing to people, agreeing silently with a sign of approval in the form of a short nod._ _

__“You didn’t ask me if I could go!” Tommy added on almost immediately after, the playful bickering-nature gone from his tone. He looked…actually annoyed._ _

__“Because you literally just cause me more problems.” Techno scoffed as he gestured for them to go start getting dressed. They didn’t listen, not liking where this was going._ _

__“That’s called favouritism, you dick.” He snapped with his words sharp like knives, a level of genuine hurt mixing its way into his voice._ _

__Techno stared down at him in complete confusion at his reaction, eyebrows knitted downwards as they took the cue to step in and help calm him down._ _

__Eret took a step between them quickly, shooing Techno away as they played mediator, ~~the neutral party as always, right?~~. A quick look at Phil was a sign enough for him to leave them alone for a few minutes, even if he looked like he wanted to stay with a worried look. They felt guilty for having him leave when he wanted to help but they could only guess it was actually about him and they weren’t about to have him hear that. Within a minute, it was just the two of them standing besides the dining table like two repelling magnets._ _

__“What’s wrong?” They asked softly, leading with a gentle hand for Tommy to sit back down. It was similar to the many times they had to do the same thing for Tubbo or Niki, taking on the parental role when no one else could._ _

__“You know Phil’s just going to avoid me!” He not-so quietly tried to whisper back. A spike of anger shining through his words that they hadn’t even realised started to build up._ _

__“It wasn’t exactly my plan, Tommy, but think about it. You two need to talk and now you have the time to tell him your story. I’ll definitely mention some things to him before we leave if you still want me to, but you can’t just let an open wound like this get infected instead of addressing it. He’ll listen to you, promise.”_ _

__“Yeah, right, and he was an amazing dad too. Tell another one, Eret.” He huffed as he failed to meet their gaze._ _

__“Look at us, you hated me only a few days ago, you hated me for months on end because of my…mistake. You can judge him and you can hate him too for what he’s done in the past, but he’s trying to fix it. Just hear him out.”_ _

__“Who would’ve thought.” He tried to joke the tension away but it came out more flat and tired than anything._ _

__“Definitely not me. I was certain you were going to hate me for the rest of my three lives.”_ _

__“I thought you were going to be an arrogant asshole till I died.” He laughed out with a watery grin, matching their sad smile as they patted him carefully on the shoulder._ _

__“Exactly. People change. They make stupid mistakes but if they’re trying to rectify it…let them try. You don’t have to forgive him.”_ _

__“Yeah…yeah, shit, you’re right. Fuck, when did you get so wise, big man?”_ _

__“This…is a subject that I know quite a bit about.” They almost delicately replied with a heavy sigh that he knew to not push on. Forgiveness wasn’t something they could force nor was something they wanted to force, but it was times like these that the idea of it seemed to favour them._ _

__He silently nodded, taking a few deep breaths before his demeanour flipped, a sly grin taking the place of his sad frown._ _

__“Oh Philza!” He almost yelled as he bounced off his seat and almost knocked right into them as Eret stammered for him to maybe wait a little longer than _that_ to talk. He ignored them, obviously, not shocking to them at all, and very loudly stepped towards the kitchen. Though they supposed in a way, it was better to get it out of the way now with the sudden burst of confidence than later._ _

__They could only smile back when he glanced back at them for good luck before stepping inside, giving him two thumbs up as he dramatically went to waltz in with the confidence that mirrored their past self. A glint of sad recognition flashing across their white eyes at the comparison. They could see it with how he held his head proudly, shoulders back as he took after Wilbur’s mannerisms to act ‘professionally’. They had done it too. Dream seemed to destroy that part of them as well._ _

__They could only work on that for now, they didn’t have to convince themself they were a horrible person anymore. At least they tried to think so, it was definitely hard. Especially with the almost constant reminders of their guilt being thrown everywhere they looked._ _

__They shook their head, they didn’t need to worry about that now, they had to get dressed._ _

__Distracting their thoughts seemed easier the past few days, something they took gratefully. It was easier to block out the negativity with simpleminded tasks. They could heave themself onto the second floor and pick out clean clothes to wear under their armour instead of worrying over the festival in two days. The one that they were being _expected_ to attend._ _

__They could stap pieces of charred netherite armour around their legs and chest instead of thinking about the fact that they had zero clue what Dream was planning if ~~when~~ he saw them there._ _

__…Okay maybe it wasn’t _that_ easy but they were getting there. Baby steps._ _

__“Eret! If you wear a skirt to the nether and trip in lava, I’m not saving you!” Techno yelled up from the level below, the distinct sounds of potion bottles clinking together filling up the empty noise. Completely unaware that they had taken up enough time for him to already have his potions ready._ _

__“If Phil had just brought my heels here we’d have no problem with that!”_ _

__“Your what?”_ _

__“Nothing!”_ _

__They could guess easily if he saw their stockpile of shoes back at the castle that he’d ban almost all of them from their travels, even more of a safety hazard than their long dresses._ _

__They only clip the last bands of their chestplate before grabbing their sword, some invisibility potions, and their coat before rushing to meet him at the front door._ _

__His patience level was thin at this point and they knew it, definitely not wanting to test their luck as they hurried down the ladder._ _

__He met their gaze with a nonchalant look, motioning for them to slip their boots on before he left them behind. They knew he’d do it too._ _

__They could still hear the muffled and quiet noises of Phil and Tommy talking. No one was yelling and that was a good sign in their book._ _

__After tying their laces, he almost dragged them out the door and into the snow covered porch, locking the door behind him. It wasn’t like they could talk to Phil with Tommy already being there._ _

__“Got everything?” He asked as he took the lead, paving the way with his footsteps in the snow as they followed behind._ _

__“I believe so.”_ _

__“Good. I don’t want to have to run back for anything.”_ _

__Eret slid their sword into their sheath, wincing as the untamed winds blew against their sunglasses indifferently as the sunlight hit portions of their eyes, having to shield them protectively as he led them the somewhat familiar path to the portal._ _

__They honestly wouldn’t be able to point out the way to the portal without severe levels of help, just now noticing how little they remembered fully from their fever haze._ _

__They did know it wasn’t too long though. It took only minutes for them to end up in front of the dimensional threshold. He let them go first, taking an uneasy step upon the obsidian casing as they laid out a hand that went clean-through the purple gateway._ _

__The difference between entering the portal this time and the last were very noticeable, almost astoundingly different, confusing themself even on how they never noticed they were running a fever before. It went smoothly this time around, waiting patiently for the piglin to join them on the other side. The travel between the two dimensions felt just…right…to them. It was always a good experience to visit the world they had practically grown up in._ _

__“You know we’ll have to pass by the community portal, right?” Was the first thing he asked when he phased through the portal, dusting away at the purplish particles sticking to his armour._ _

__They had brought invisibility potions on purpose in case the entire plan went to shit, nodding a little uncomfortably at his words._ _

__“I brought fireworks in case we see anyone.” He mentioned as he gestured to the crossbow tied to a belt at his hip. “One wrong move and they’re getting blown up. They chose the wrong day to go to the nether.”_ _

__“Or we could not commit murder and run.” They suggested, shaking the invisibility potions like it was very obviously the only good response. Which it was._ _

__“There’s zero fun in that. Where’s the sport?”_ _

__“Did you just call hunting people a ‘sport’?”_ _

__“Uh, yeah, because that’s exactly what it is.”_ _

__They sighed loosely and let him take the victory in the conversation as he grinned wildly, leading the way down the obsidian and cobblestone covered paths towards the main portal to the rest of the SMP._ _

__“Humans actually used to hunt by wearing down their prey’s endurance until they became so tired and exhausted that they couldn’t run anymore. That’s why they could hunt larger and stronger animals than themselves.” He far-too pleasantly commented._ _

__“Why is it that the only time I ever hear you sound so passionate about something is when we’re talking about death or people suffering?” Eret asked genuinely, following behind him closely._ _

__“Because it’s funny.”_ _

__“It’s literal murder-“_ _

__“Learn to have a sense of humour.”_ _

__They shook their head, trying to ignore how he started laughing at their reaction, shooting him a pointed look that only made him laugh harder. He continued onto his comment with a more long winded explanation onto how humans have managed to survive this long whilst being hunted by mobs constantly. They had to admit, it was interesting, but it was easy to get lost in the distractions around them as he filled the silence with stories of ancient civilisations._ _

__They’d nod or prompt him to continue occasionally as they took in the state of the nether. A slight bit of guilt rising that they had lost their attention in the conversation quickly._ _

__It’d been awhile since they were able to visit it again. It felt like they were visiting family, or home in a way, every time they came around. Despite the high temperatures and overwhelming amount of light from the cracks of lava and magma flowing everywhere they stepped, they could surprisingly take their sunglasses off with ease and not have to worry about the damage it could do._ _

__Techno had gotten something about the ender portal before he suddenly stopped, causing them to stumble into his back as he glanced back at them like he was scanning them over for something._ _

__“Did you wear gold?”_ _

__They paused, fiddling with their dangling earrings before realising that no, they did not. They had forgotten to swap them out._ _

__“I do not believe so, hang on.” Eret lightly picked the glasses off of their nose and set them in their back pocket, switching places with Techno. “If they see the eyes, they won’t bother us.”_ _

__“You can take those off here?”_ _

__“The lighting is different compared to the overworld. If wither skeletons have no issue then I don’t as well.”_ _

__He shrugged, clearly not actually understanding why it would be any different than normal sunlight but he didn’t try to question them on it. It’s not like they actually knew why either._ _

__“So do you have any special way of getting skulls this time?” He asked teasingly as they neared the main portal hub to the rest of the SMP, referring back to their _very_ effective and efficient way of mining for ancient debris._ _

__“Have you ever tried to talk to a wither skeleton?” They questioned back._ _

__“No…? Do they even speak the same language as the rest of the nether?”_ _

__“It’s a variant but they’d probably be able to answer simple questions from you.”_ _

__“And this has to do with the skulls how…?”_ _

__“You’ll see.” They hummed as he pinched the bridge of nose, muttering how he hated every time they did that._ _

__The moment they got to the front of the blackstone engraved entrance to the portal room, he pushed them to stay closely to his side as they as quickly as possible made their way to the entrance of the ice path, deciding to not attempt to make a makeshift boat and walk the rest of the way there._ _

__They covered their tracks behind them as they closed off the entrance point from prying eyes, definitely not wanting the ‘farm’ to end up in the wrong hands._ _

__Though they supposed in a way, that’s exactly what they were doing right then and definitely when they had given the piglin the coordinates months ago in the first place, not realising the future significance of the exchange. They didn’t know it would end with him setting withers off multiple times, though they supposed they should’ve guessed it would end with something like that. What else would you do with a stack of wither skulls?_ _

__The walk beside the lengthy ice path wasn’t as long as they expected it to be, but it was dark at times and they had to practically light the way with solely their eyes, something that Techno commented on instantly saying that he would never need to bring torches whilst mining if he just dragged them along._ _

__The closer they got to the exit was when Techno started unclipping his crossbow, casually slotting the fireworks in as ammunition whilst walking. They turned slightly to set a quick hand over his shoulder, shaking their head when he tried to add another clip of ammo._ _

__“Don’t tell me you actually plan on ‘talking’ to a bunch of skeletons.”_ _

__“Talk? They already know me.”_ _

__“You are such a nerd.” He groaned as he begrudgingly set the crossbow back in its place with annoyed grumbling._ _

__“Who was telling me about mythology earlier?”_ _

__He didn’t appreciate the jab but they took the victory with a beam of a smile._ _

__The exit came up swiftly, forcing them to come to a stop. The bricks of the fortress snapped and clanged against the heels of their boots as they took a step out of the netherrack cave. The piglin definitely knew his way around more than they did, even if they had been the one to make the so-called ‘farm’, and took the lead again to bring them towards the vast platform of the expanded upon fortress._ _

__The wither skeletons already there seemed to perk up the moment he came into view, swords at the ready until they stepped between them with a cold stare._ _

__Clearing their throat, they let him see the magic happen as they whispered a simple but sharp command underneath their breath to the first skeleton in question, watching with glee as he nodded obediently to their call and unhinged the loose binding between his head and neck and handed the skull over into the palms of their hands without any issue._ _

__“He’s not dead.” Techno commented almost immediately, the sense of unnerved but excited surprise still shining through his otherwise blank voice._ _

__“No, he is not. They’re like chickens, give him a minute.”_ _

__The skeleton stood silently in front of them, stabbing the stone sword into the bricks beside them. He went out with a salute as they waved him goodbye and dissolved into a pile of pure soul sand and specks of coal._ _

__“What exactly did you say to him to get him to do _that_?”_ _

__“Please and thank you.”_ _

__“You…said ‘please’ and he took his head off? What kind of-“ He stumbled over his words as they grinned back at him._ _

__“I believe it’s called _manners_ , Tech.”_ _

__“Very funny.” He blankly shot back, sighing as they drowned out his annoyance with snickering._ _

__“It wouldn’t kill you to try and talk to one instead of killing it.”_ _

__“That’s just taking the fun out of it.”_ _

__“If you shoot them with fireworks you’re not even going to get a skull. It’ll destroy it.”_ _

__“But it’s fun to watch them run.” He replied like it was the obvious answer._ _

__They were starting to wonder if Phil was the only one who had empathy in the family._ _

__He handed them a fire resistance potion as he unclipped the crossbow from his belt, letting him take aim with a roll of their eyes as he set a hand on the trigger. Letting loose a rain of a multiple-coloured battalion of fireworks upon another unexpecting group of skeletons. They raised their swords in a weak protest but he shot off another round and they quickly turned to nothing more than sparkled dust on the ground. No skull in sight._ _

__“See?” He said, seemingly very pleased as they stood to the side with their hands in their battered coat pockets._ _

__“I don’t see the appeal. We could’ve gotten four more skulls.”_ _

__“Heh?! It was awesome, you just don’t know how to have fun.”_ _

__“Your version of ‘fun’ is committing mass genocide.”_ _

__“And yours is sitting at home doing nothing, I think I win.”_ _

__They rolled their eyes dramatically at their bantering, snorting as he draped an arm over their shoulder and pulled them to keep up as he continued to look for more skeletons across the scarlet platform._ _

__“Oh, speaking of mass genocide, you never answered my question.” He continued smoothly, tensing slightly under his gaze. Of course _that’s_ how he’d bring it up. They couldn’t say they were necessarily surprised._ _

__They didn’t have to ask for clarification either, they could already tell what he was referring to. His ‘question’ about their possible involvement in his plans for destroying the country they had ‘participated’ in starting._ _

__“It’s not an easy decision to make.”_ _

__“It literally is. L’manberg did nothing but shut you out and use you, they treated you like garbage. No offence, but I have zero clue how it would take any longer than a second to say yes to that.”_ _

__“They didn’t do anything, it was a reaction to my betrayal. I can’t blame them for something like that.” They tried to defend but it fell onto deaf ears. He stared at them, completely unbelieving what they were saying. “I understand your view, you want vengeance for what they did, but I don’t like how you’re going about it. Destroying L’manberg won’t actually solve any of your or my problems.”_ _

__He didn’t respond and they thought it was the end of the conversation for now, but they were wrong. He was just questioning whether or not to say something._ _

__“You do know you don’t have to listen to Dream, right? You don’t have to play the neutrality card anymore. You can make your own decisions. You aren’t king, you won’t be king again, whatever Dream told you doesn’t matter.” He seemed hesitant to say it, to point out the truth, but it didn’t matter. It still set them off into a spiralling whirlpool of emotions._ _

__“That’s not what this is about.”_ _

__“It definitely looks like it.”_ _

__Eret looked away with glassy eyes, a heavy reminder scrapping at their thoughts of the events from their ‘dream’ earlier. They knew they weren’t following Dream’s orders anymore, but his words made them second guess their real reasoning for being against his plans. They also knew he didn’t mean to offend them with the sore reminder, something they had to keep repeating to themself or else they’d snap back at him.  
It wasn’t their engraved neutrality, they were making a decision. A choice to keep everyone safe._ _

__“I don’t want to lose you, or Phil, or Tommy because of this. I don’t want to lose the only other family I have left back at L’manberg because you want what? Revenge? It won’t help anything, Tech.” They wavered and cracked under their own words. “I made a choice like this before, it will end horribly, Techno, trust me.”_ _

__He stopped immediately when he heard their breaking voice, turning them to face them as he set a firm grip on both sides of their shoulders. “You aren’t going to lose any of us.” His voice dropped to a nervous but soft tone. “Nothing bad is going to happen, it’s just a few withers.” He tried to joke his way out of it but it was obvious how uncomfortable he was. They couldn’t help but feel bad for the amount of times he’s had to attempt to console them, it was clear he didn’t know what to do in situations like this._ _

__“Casualties happen. It’s a declaration of war. Tommy and Phil only have one life, do you really want to take that risk?”_ _

__An uneasy frown spread across his mouth, being unable to meet their gaze completely was a sign enough that they had gotten through to him. They supposed it was payback for the mention of Dream for them to mention his family._ _

__“We should talk about this later with everyone.” He almost whispered, and for the first time, they could actually see the raw emotion in his eyes. “Sorry for bringing up Dream, I know it’s a sore subject and all.”_ _

__“It’s fine.” They mumbled, lifting his arms gently off their shoulders only to pull him into a hug, almost laughing at how he went to jolt away instantly._ _

__“I’m starting to feel like I actually got scammed and this is just your way out of a family reunion.” He huffed with a small smile._ _

__They snorted, a muffled ‘maybe’ escaping their lips as they burrowed their head into his shoulder. Smiling when he eventually tried to return the hug._ _

__“God, if you actually just acted the entire time so you don’t have to see family, I’d honestly praise your work.”_ _

__“I swear I didn’t.”_ _

__“So is this a ‘no’ to doomsday? Just making sure.”_ _

__“It’s a, we need to actually talk about this when we’re not upset and have a levelhead.”_ _

__“THAT’S NOT A NO, LETS GO!” He cheered with a wild laugh, shaking them slightly in his arms as he pulled away from the hug._ _

__“I can’t believe you’re calling it ‘doomsday’.” Eret snickered._ _

__“It’s a perfectly reasonable name. It’s doomsday for their property value.”_ _

__“Oh no, not the property value. Whatever will they do?”_ _

__“Stop establishing governments.”_ _

__They bumped him in the shoulder for that, sighing shakily as they took a step away. “Did you want more skulls still?”_ _

__He stared off at the skeletons in the far distance before surprisingly shaking his head no. Taking the one skull they had gotten from their hands._ _

__“This is fine. Phil was right, we have over two stacks back at the house.”_ _

__They relaxed slightly, it was sign in the right direction that he would at least consider giving up the plan if he wasn’t up to overstocking anymore. They almost wanted to thank him._ _

__“Let’s go, I don’t doubt Tommy has already managed to piss Phil off.”_ _

__“He’s probably regretting letting us go as we speak.”_ _

__They did have to wonder how that conversation went for the two of them. They could only hope it was well enough that they weren’t about to come home to a full fledged argument._ _

__He led the way back to the ice path whilst they waved goodbye to the rest of the skeletons they saw, freaking Techno out slightly when they waved back._ _

__“That is by far, the creepiest thing I’ve seen on this server.”_ _

__“I’m sure they could say the same thing about you.”_ _

__“Okay first of all, rude. Second, who saved your life again? Because I’m starting to regret it.”_ _

__Eret glared at him light heartedly, shoving him to go faster as they made their way to the main portal. It felt somehow shorter than the first time, maybe it was from the many back and forth comments they kept throwing back at each other distracting them from the time._ _

__As they took the obsidian and cobblestone decorated path back to their portal, they took the liberty of mentioning the conversation they had on the way there, prompting him to continue from where he got cut off from. Listening intently this time with a light smile at his casual and lengthy explanations of an ancient civilisation that had apparently populated the End._ _

__“Is this boring you?” He had eventually asked as they stopped to transfer back to the overworld, snaking their sunglasses out of their pocket to protect their vision from the daylight._ _

__“Not at all.” And they had meant it._ _

__He let out a sigh of relief and let them take the first step again back to the world they knew so well. A world they considered a home now._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys,,, I have been so stressed lately it ain’t even funny so if my writing is off;;; I am sorry bfnfbfnbfk it was honestly rlly hard for me to concentrate on this chap bc my brain is just f r i e d  
> like I honestly feel like I could’ve done sm more with this chapter but :// I had started seriously writing it like a week after the last chapter had uploaded & kinda just wanted to get it out there
> 
> also someone had to have caught onto the trend within these past chapters right-  
> like I’m rlly hoping so


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